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Lovers Confession

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Lovers Confession

Postby Slim Zaddy » Feb 7th, '09, 12:24

need feedback on this :y: it's poetic actually and i wrote it to my girl ,

You've answered my questions, beckoned many blessons
Gave my soul protection, Love, these are my confessions

I stand a man, whom use to be lonely, yearning for trust
Found your hand, consoled by Vicy, I'm thankful for us
In past days, tears flied down my cheek, burning my skin
Many ways, my confidance was weak, & destroyed within
I wanted to disappear, leave this anziety, an clear my mind
Can't leave here, with a feeling inside of me, unexpected to find
You're superfluous, a great inspiration, an angel in disquize
Love does so much for us, it's amazing, I see heavon in your eyes
Hope i'm condescending, giving you my all, including the world
Love's not pretending, it helps me stand tall, for my baby girl
I'll admit my lifes changed, my attitudes unique, I feel alive
Thought's on life re-arranged, now complete, floating inside
Reaching out today, for tomorrow isn't promissed, Loves the key
Unlocking angelic ways, you're in my thoughts honest, an hugging me
My heart breaths, letting love sit on the swing, waiting for you
Soul bleeds, craving those simple things, that I love to watch you do
When I stare in your eyes, goose bumps are birthed, i'm free
Living in a pairadyce, with no hurt, only you walking beside me
Memerable life story, the importance to my life, giving me reason
To reach for Vic-tory, an find right, so I can continue breathing


I wont sit an pretend, deny this love keeps growing, like a flower
You're my best friend, not scared of showing, we blooming every hour
Or so I tend to believe, you're the air in my lungs, & butterfly in my gut
Someday i'll read, this love story that's become, to get me out of a rut
Save me from my past, it's a memerable moment, everytime we're together
Play joke & laugh, this world we own it, lost in this mass of pleasure
Confessing my love, over drum patterns an paper, creating a picture
In your imagination because, maybe later, it'll make you realize quicker
How much I feel, keep consealed in my heart, proving I wont walk away
Self's real, really loved you from the start, when I seen you in the hallway
If I did die, that night my skin poured out blood, what would you do?
Cry? hate my selfish act of suicide cause of lost love, could I watch over you?
Point you in a new direction, make you brave, give you the spirit to carry on
I'll be your angelic protection, after my cradle to the grave, but I wont be gone
Enough said, i'm not dead an don't want to be, you made me see past the storm
Cleared my head, you're face is painted inside of me, in a physical form
Never taking this painting down, of you an me together, it's to pleasent
A queen an shud be crowned, stop time forever, let me stay in the present
Love all your charateristics, every little thing, life savir an angel i'm guessing
Forever is realistic, keep me under your wings,nd listen to my love confession
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Re: Lovers Confession

Postby Slim Zaddy » Feb 8th, '09, 12:24

bump
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Re: Lovers Confession

Postby James R. » Feb 8th, '09, 16:30

At the end the flow gets kinda drawn out, and your lines are already pretty long. It's sweet though. Should definitely get you laid. You expressed how you were and how you are well and you kept it pretty basic (which is good cuz I doubt she's gonna catch all the shit you say when hearing it or reading it the first 30 or 40 times anyways lol), but I liked it all man. Nice piece. Should DEFINITELY get you some action.
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Re: Lovers Confession

Postby gutawafang » Feb 8th, '09, 18:02

Or so I tend to believe, you're the air in my lungs, & butterfly in my gut
Someday i'll read, this love story that's become, to get me out of a rut

That's a fucking great line. I love this overall. But I can't rap it out. Maybe you should record? :happy: :happy:
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Re: Lovers Confession

Postby Slim Zaddy » Feb 9th, '09, 11:34

thanks guys , i always i appreciate the feedback :y:
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