A Boy's Journey

by **MC Anonymous** » Feb 7th, '09, 19:54

embrace the cause, light beams shine bright
tonight, my life spills into the darkened fright
a picture of pain hangs silently, looking at me
tears grace the floor, I rise up from my knees
walk out the door, the sky isn't blue anymore
emotionless, hurt, my feet with cuts are sore
the ground breaks beneath me, without a floor
I fall, grip on to the ledge, and slip into the shore
drowning in sorrow, and no lifeboat can save me
I finally realize now, I found out how those slaves be
trapped inside a cell, determined as hell to be free
determined to sink in silence, like a shell in a sea

Perhaps, I wondered, as I walk into the room of souls
cabinets filled with silverware, brooms and bowls
every step echo's, yet the room is compressed
I reach out and touch, and it turns into some mess
a jail cell emerged, as I awoke on a cold steel bed
dark demons as bars, all with bold, real heads
frightened, I curl up in a ball, and hum myself to sleep
knowing that when I wake up, all I will do is weep
images, voices, circulating in my veins and heart
as the muscle pumps, it always sends some darts
life slips behind fallacy, and the darkness glows
passion sucked from me, a now spark less rose.

Website · by **Solace** » Feb 7th, '09, 20:23

I thought the 2nd verse was better than the first, in my opinion it was written well, but the first wasn't, yet both contained good emotion. Good piece :y:

by **MC Anonymous** » Feb 7th, '09, 20:24

Epiphany wrote:I thought the 2nd verse was better than the first, in my opinion it was written well, but the first wasn't, yet both contained good emotion. Good piece

by **mcZu** » Feb 7th, '09, 21:51

Nice piece man, good to see you exploring different creative dimensions and trying to eb versatile.
As for the flow, it's good if read out loud, it would probably be flawless on a beat if you know how to deliver it. Lyrics were great, rhyme-scheme wasn't that complex, yet appealing. Multies were not over used, so that's sort off good. You could have expressed yourself more complex, but for these kind of pieces a vivid punch in the face effect is needed. So you did what you apparently were aiming for, so good job on that :y:

Keep em dropping ( although I don't need to say that considering you nearly drop each day lol ) :y:

by **MC Anonymous** » Feb 7th, '09, 21:53

mcZu wrote:Nice piece man, good to see you exploring different creative dimensions and trying to eb versatile.
As for the flow, it's good if read out loud, it would probably be flawless on a beat if you know how to deliver it. Lyrics were great, rhyme-scheme wasn't that complex, yet appealing. Multies were not over used, so that's sort off good. You could have expressed yourself more complex, but for these kind of pieces a vivid punch in the face effect is needed. So you did what you apparently were aiming for, so good job on that
Keep em dropping ( although I don't need to say that considering you nearly drop each day lol )

Thanks bro! :y:

, Great feed as always

by **James R.** » Feb 8th, '09, 02:31

Read this on MSN. It was great then and it's great now. I like the creativity and poetry of it. The rhyming as well. Not as complex but still has a message. The average listener/reader would have no problem getting into this track. Good job man.