pokemon's way to kill you (PART ONE)

[gutawafang]

(A DRAFT)
I will work on the structure, the flow, and all. Meanwhile, feedbacks appreciated. Thank you!

You wanna pick up who?
I'm Pikachu
You feel my blues?
I'm gonna make you remember me, make it stick like glue
I'm gonna start the battle off with a THUNDERSHOCK
And then a THUNDERBOLT, leave you paralyzed under rocks
A TACKLE would finish you off in a turn
And then you will shout "return!"

I'ma return mine too and I'm calling up my Rhydon
The creature I like to have a ride on
BODY SLAMs your pathetic Rattata
I laughed, "bwahahahaha"
One-hit-ko you with a HORN DRILL
Never misses, I got FISSURE as my last resort, you feel?

Suck your blood out, I'm Zubat
You dying, bitch? Too bad
Time for Golbat to ABOSRB you at once
It's a goddamn Crobat in a few months

Time for me to crush your hopes and dreams to be a pokemon master
Time for me to WHIRLPOOL you, WATERFALL you, tsunami disaster
Destroy that theme song, "I wanna be the very best"
Boys, you lose, you'll realize you got breasts.

[Solace]

that was pretty funny, i dont know if it was meant to be but i found it funny since the subject was pokemon. interesting piece, i wanna see how this turns out. Are you writing it to a beat? That'll help you with the flow and how to structure it. If so, post the link to the beat in your post so people can see how it flows

[gutawafang]

:laughing: that was pretty funny, i dont know if it was meant to be but i found it funny since the subject was pokemon. interesting piece, i wanna see how this turns out. Are you writing it to a beat? That'll help you with the flow and how to structure it. If so, post the link to the beat in your post so people can see how it flows

Thank you, Epiphany! For your feed! I'm so happy you fed!

Ok, good advice Epiphany! I'll write to a beat. Cuz yeah, you right, I didn't write to a beat. I NEVER do so. LOL. Yeah.

[gutawafang]

I enjoyed it a lot, great piece

Thank you! I'ma wait for more advice and feed before I work on it fully. Thanks Chett!

[Le Tunisien]

Lmao so funny

[tjb]

great peace

[neversnooze]

your the only one with a non diss piece so ill comment yours

gotta catch em all!!!!! this brings back alot of memories. this was tough to rhyme i dont think i could even flow to a subject like pokemon but you did alright.your delivery was good, i saw your point in the piece(pokemon). some parts you were off and could use some tune up.

good write 6/10

[gutawafang]

Thank you ALL! I will improve on this soon. In a few days... I guess. I'm not int he mood these days.

DEPRESSION.

[gutawafang]

BUMPING again!

[James R.]

I actually liked it. It wasn't great in the mechanical sense but it's FUN which is something that's been missing from CW lately. Everyone pretty much summed up the issues. Flow and structure are the biggest problem. Listen to Epiph about the beat. Good job though

[gutawafang]

Thanks again, James. Appreciate it. I will improve.

[Rain Matrix]

damn, that is kinda cool I might throw a pokeman line up in a battle rap one time

[Robbie G]

*puts down Pokemon red version*


I thought it was pretty good. The structure was weird for me though. One line would be really shot than the next really long. So it might be hard to rap but it wasn't bad.

[gutawafang]

Thanks for reading ya'll!