white bitch

[gutawafang]

i can't tolerate this, is it fate bitch?
you can't debate this, so is it great bitch?
i ain't lying, I'd be a jerk if I am
my heart was crying, it wouldn't work, you're condemned
i wanted to say hi to you, but you had your men
i got high over you, but you used your backup plan
goddamn, "you made my heart bleed" though it's a little cliche
i thought your men was literally shit, yeah I'ma say
lovely bitch, loooooooovely
keep shortening your life span then say you looooooove me
consume the tar and make my heart cry
i assumed you're the star that could light my night sky
i wanted you, bitch but you just threw me
because you gave that "middle finger face" and undo me
you fulfilled every criteria i have in mind
especially for the fact you're still every idea i have in this rhyme

bitch, i fell for you, i wanna see you again
this is hell from you, inflicting me pain

[Le Tunisien]

haha funny & sick shet , love it

[Slim Zaddy]

sick man ,, i was'nt in forum for a long time ago . cuz i'm out of country ,, but this is just sick man ,, i love it keep it up

[Solace]

Thought the whole CAPS thing was annoying, the beginning was the best part of it tho:

"i can't toleRATE this, is it FATE bitch?
you can't deBATE this, so is it GREAT bitch?
i ain't LYING, I'd be a JERK if I AM
my heart was CRYING, it wouldn't WORK, you're conDEMNED
i wanted to say HI to you, but you HAD your MEN
i got HIGH over you, but you used your BACKup PLAN"

The rest was meh. Decent enough man, keep it up

[gutawafang]

haha funny & sick shet , love it

Thank you, though it ain't meant to be funny. LOL.

sick man ,, i was'nt in forum for a long time ago . cuz i'm out of country ,, but this is just sick man ,, i love it keep it up

Thank you so much for feeding me as always.

Thought the whole CAPS thing was annoying, the beginning was the best part of it tho:

"i can't toleRATE this, is it FATE bitch?
you can't deBATE this, so is it GREAT bitch?
i ain't LYING, I'd be a JERK if I AM
my heart was CRYING, it wouldn't WORK, you're conDEMNED
i wanted to say HI to you, but you HAD your MEN
i got HIGH over you, but you used your BACKup PLAN"

The rest was meh. Decent enough man, keep it up

Thanks. I guess I wont caps again. Thank you for quoting!

[gutawafang]

I edited. Due to caps.

[MC Anonymous]

Hahahah funny, good one. 7/10

[gutawafang]

Hahahah funny, good one. 7/10

Thank you so much, Anonymus! Yeah, I guess it ISSSSSS funny then.

[James R.]

Another entertaining piece that's lacking the mechanics. Actually that's not 100% true it was pretty solid on all sides, there was just nothing really SPECIAL about it that made it jump out at me. Rhyming was pretty basic, flow was very standard, structure was a little shifty. But overall it was a good read.

[gutawafang]

Thanks, James.