Music

[neversnooze]

something i havent written in a while hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated

Music is heard as an expression of personal thoughts of mind,
it's intention is to express what are personal thoughts can write,
cause affection is not affection if sex is all we can find,
and till were left alone matchless, on a mattress of lies,
It's self belligerency to feel that are sins couldn't speak,
and seek a reason for existence in the mist of the sea,
and see if we can see through sans, are ancestors seeked,
an insane sanity weeps, for the sane cells of deceit,
step to check the sight, exceptional tales kept in the seap,
see the strings of life get distached and latched to our seed,
cause life was given through the beast or the feast of forbidden fruits,
whichever theory proves to more people that seek to be soothed,
to some the bible is a hoax or just a coaster for drinks,
you can hold it close or hope that Jehovah doesn't exist,

[Slovinec]

sounds like some asher roth shit

[gutawafang]

GREAT. Just great. Full marks. I don't care if you bit or anything. I just LOVED it.

[neversnooze]

thank you both, i am posting this for a friend. i just wanted honest feedback

[Slim Zaddy]

Music is heard as an expression of personal thoughts of mind,
it's intention is to express what are personal thoughts can write,
It's self belligerency to feel that are sins couldn't speak,
and seek a reason for existence in the mist of the sea,
step to check the sight, exceptional tales kept in the seap,
see the strings of life get distached and latched to our seed,
cause life was given through the beast or the feast of forbidden fruits,
whichever theory proves to more people that seek to be soothed,

soory for my late feedback ,, but i was out of country ,, anyway bro , these lines are sick , i loved them, you got the concept which is fire , structure can be fixed a little bit , you got the flow , but you can make it better by adding in-rhymes ,, vocab is good as always , i like your metaphors and multies,, they are nice,, it's short and sick , make it longer man ,, gd job here ,,