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Keystyle

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Keystyle

Postby Rain Matrix » Mar 7th, '09, 03:28

I'm living like a king whose sitting with a drink and sippin that shit in
finally done tripping about things that are missing from within
leaving his heart in shreds it's like I'm marked for death
but I can't start to stress the parts that rest on shaky ground
aka the fate we found it's all crazy now nothing but pain in store
so the rain'll pour untill I change my course from the flames that scorch
life shouldn't be hell so I tell myself to stay in stealth before I melt
into a puddle of ash I struggle to grasp when I juggle my past
with a hustle that lasts beyond trouble relax before my knuckles relapse
into K O mode the fatal blow snorted up your able nose untill yayo snows
like a blizzard of mixtures that differ from the life you lived first
don't be a quitter
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Re: Keystyle

Postby neversnooze » Mar 7th, '09, 03:39

the flow on this was so/so. i read alot of your work and all i can say is change your "subject" you continue to write about the same stuff. the yayo snow " that part should be edited to something else.

overall 6/10 and dont forget to feed other peoples work, and if your just to busy with other things then you shouldnt even post your piece.

it was ok read nothing unique other than your style

http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic. ... to+be+nice
Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed
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Re: Keystyle

Postby Ka0t1c » Mar 7th, '09, 19:15

i liked how your pattern is and how often u rhymed but this wasn't anything special
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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