Scarred - NEW - Before My Rise (Poem)

[Ice_Scarred]

I wrote this in 4 minutes, and I never revised it. Just figured I would post it. Right off the dome, just writing randomly whatever came from my heart. I apologize if it makes no sense. I just had to write something. I was writing some bars down and shit, but this just came to me, so I said WTH, and just pasted it here. Feedback appreciated!

If I was blind or deaf, would you leave me?
If I had no arms, legs or feet would you still believe me?
If my life was lies, I told inside, would you care about me?
If I never understand why, would you answer my questions?
If I told the game, that I would never change, would I still be accepted?
If I beat my wife, stole your life, been the reaper would I still be forgiven?
If I said amazing grace and gave up living would you still be forgetting,
About the times, days and hours I had shed for nothing?
Tell me how worthless I am or something?
Curse my name, dethrone my fame, live for a new day?
Burn forever inside cause I never knew what you’d say?
The deepest of morals, the gifts of the oral, spoken word,
Power of writing, the Egyptian, the Undeciding, the new world,
If this doesn’t make sense, I do apologize,
Just something I must let loose before I begin another rise…

[Ice_Scarred]

I know its not that good, but Feed is appreciated!
Pleeeeeeeaaaaassseeee!

[Ice_Scarred]

Yeah, guess it was trash. I'll try better next time.

[Solace]

Dont think that dude. You wrote it in 4 minutes and its unrevised, for what it is I actually liked it It was a poem, I could get with that. Some parts felt like it was more of a poem than others, where I could actually see someone rapping those other parts. Keep writing dude.

[Ice_Scarred]

Dont think that dude. You wrote it in 4 minutes and its unrevised, for what it is I actually liked it It was a poem, I could get with that. Some parts felt like it was more of a poem than others, where I could actually see someone rapping those other parts. Keep writing dude.

Oh, I never expected anyone to respond. I'm pretty unexperienced, I just like to write what comes to my mind sometimes. Thanks for actually responding. I'll work harder next time!

Wow, we the same age, 14. Funny coincidence cuzz.

[neversnooze]

for a 4 minute it was just ok, this would make more sense if you continued it to a part II or something.

[Solace]

Dont think that dude. You wrote it in 4 minutes and its unrevised, for what it is I actually liked it It was a poem, I could get with that. Some parts felt like it was more of a poem than others, where I could actually see someone rapping those other parts. Keep writing dude.

Oh, I never expected anyone to respond. I'm pretty unexperienced, I just like to write what comes to my mind sometimes. Thanks for actually responding. I'll work harder next time!

Wow, we the same age, 14. Funny coincidence cuzz.

I had no fuckin clue you were 14

[Ice_Scarred]

Dont think that dude. You wrote it in 4 minutes and its unrevised, for what it is I actually liked it It was a poem, I could get with that. Some parts felt like it was more of a poem than others, where I could actually see someone rapping those other parts. Keep writing dude.

Oh, I never expected anyone to respond. I'm pretty unexperienced, I just like to write what comes to my mind sometimes. Thanks for actually responding. I'll work harder next time!

Wow, we the same age, 14. Funny coincidence cuzz.

I had no fuckin clue you were 14

Yeah i'm 14. Just enjoying my youth. lol, ya.

Thks for the feed neversnooze!

[Slim Zaddy]

it's not bad for 4 min man ,, i liked some of the lines ,, it's good ,, try to write more , gd luck