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I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

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I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby lilrossy » May 19th, '09, 07:20

Face it, lilRO$$Y's brainsick, shit im da devils replacement,
high off a combination of liquor nd medications,
ima racist, a rapist, wiv the biggest weapons emplacement,
im mastorbatin' while torcherin' daniel morcombe in my basement,
broken glass, slittin' my wrists gets my heart pacin',
blood stains on da basin, layin' on da floor, my bodys achin',
walk into a hospital, covered in blood wearin a mask like jason,
laughin', pull out a knife nd start chasin' cancer patients,
see sick kids racin' up nd down the halls quakin',
i start shakin', the cops are outside stakin',
they got the buildin' surounded, so i ain't escapin',
my face is on da news cuz da surveillance is tapin',
out da window im screamin "stop, ur mistakin,
its not me its this demon that has awaken"
i ain't fakin', hells takin' me nd got under enslavement,
it's a transformation nd i can't fight da temptations, i can't take it,
i jump out da window nd my body smashes against da pavement,
Im dead, Ive forsakin'

tell me wat u think, plz.
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby GibbzyTrShady » May 19th, '09, 13:27

Yer this is pretty good man I like tha way ure playing with words but yo' i kinda feel like you chasing subjects similar to eminem's 3.am but yo' all in all its pretty decent man keep goin!!!
As Of Right Now.....
Im Just Slowly Takin Over'


http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic. ... 8&t=102582
Feed Yall :)

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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby Ka0t1c » May 20th, '09, 00:39

yeah, not bad at all, only thing is it's basic and could be smoother a lil bit, and i'd try to incorporate multies somehow to spice it up. but this piece is decent :y:
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby lilrossy » May 20th, '09, 12:16

yo guyz thnx 4 da feedbak, really appreciate it. havent written anything in while, tryin ta get bak into it. and yeah i was actually thinkin of 3 a.m when i wrote it. :y:
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby gutawafang » May 21st, '09, 10:15

Reminds me of My Darling. But yeah. It's a good concept man. Inspired me with a few lines there. :y:
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby lilrossy » May 22nd, '09, 23:30

thanks man, good lookin out. :y:
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby Slim Zaddy » May 23rd, '09, 08:24

that's good man , you got some lines out there sick ,, i liked your rhymes by the way , lyrics were good , not bad ,, it's 7/10 ,, concept is dope .. it will be much better if you use more multies , ,, but anyway gd job mm here bro :y:
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z_em = Slim Zaddy = Zaid AQ which is my real name
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby JMG » May 23rd, '09, 09:25

nice flow
JMG wrote: so are you gonna come fight me or not

Menzo wrote:No, I HAVE something to live for.
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Re: I'm Dead, I've Forsakin'

Postby lilrossy » May 24th, '09, 04:37

thanks 4 all da feedbak guyz! i'll try nd work on includin' more multies in my rhymes.
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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