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Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

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Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

Postby JPearson » Jul 21st, '09, 18:58

Gunna piss all of over you bitches with this dick the lord has blessed me
Then smack you around a bit when you’re knocked down with both my testies
If you really gunna try test me best believe I’m coming quick
I’ll flip your shit right back up on ya using wit soon as ya spit
Give you a bit of a head start seeing as you’re starting line’s behind me
Then race off to the finish line so fast you’ll never find me
Try time me see how long it takes for me to leave you brainless
Without stainless steel just words my aim at you will leave you aimless
Make it painless, naaa fuck that, I’m wripping you all off slowly
I’ll catch your verses, eat ‘em up and spit back what you show me
You can’t slow me, can’t even reach to try and pull me back
‘cause I’m so far out in front I’m out of range if you attack
This shit’s a fact, won’t even hear if you disagree with me
Just peacefully keep moving up and up when you try dissing me
Just missing me, if I was you I’d get more people
But tell ‘em to bring armour and get ready for a sequel

dont wanna flood tr wid love so thought id balance it out wid a 'don't fuck wid me' verse :8)
It will be like finding a nail in a coal mine
haystack
oh... like finding a haystack in a coal mine
JPearson
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Re: Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

Postby MC Anonymous » Jul 21st, '09, 19:14

JPearson wrote:Gunna piss all of over you bitches with this dick the lord has blessed me
Then smack you around a bit when you’re knocked down with both my testies
If you really gunna try test me best believe I’m coming quick
I’ll flip your shit right back up on ya using wit soon as ya spit
Give you a bit of a head start seeing as you’re starting line’s behind me
Then race off to the finish line so fast you’ll never find me
Try time me see how long it takes for me to leave you brainless
Without stainless steel just words my aim at you will leave you aimless
Make it painless, naaa fuck that, I’m wripping you all off slowly
I’ll catch your verses, eat ‘em up and spit back what you show me
You can’t slow me, can’t even reach to try and pull me back
‘cause I’m so far out in front I’m out of range if you attack
This shit’s a fact, won’t even hear if you disagree with me
Just peacefully keep moving up and up when you try dissing me
Just missing me, if I was you I’d get more people
But tell ‘em to bring armour and get ready for a sequel

dont wanna flood tr wid love so thought id balance it out wid a 'don't fuck wid me' verse :8)


Hmm rhyme scheme was pretty basic, nothing eye opening for me. I liked the flow, very good flow. Structure is fine. I'd like to see better wordplay/punches, a lot of those are old or played out. :y:
7/10
LMFAO@ Brittney, bitch looking worse than a chupacabra mixed with a broken down coyote. You're disgusting ugly, so ugly in fact, my brain simultaneously exploded while processing how bitterly grotesque you look. I would much rather stick ice picks into the walls of my cranium, then stick my dick into your quagmire of a clitoris. You're what would happen if a sperm whale mated with a Godzilla fish..


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Re: Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

Postby JPearson » Jul 21st, '09, 19:16

yer i shoulda taken time on it n perfected little things and shit like u said, cheeers for the feed i'll take that in for next time :y:
It will be like finding a nail in a coal mine
haystack
oh... like finding a haystack in a coal mine
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Re: Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

Postby James R. » Jul 21st, '09, 19:19

I pretty much agree with Anonymous. It was good, but could easily be great with a little more time. Keep it up JP
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Re: Out Of Range (break from love songs :p)

Postby JPearson » Jul 21st, '09, 19:21

will do man cheers, might work on this verse sometime :y:
It will be like finding a nail in a coal mine
haystack
oh... like finding a haystack in a coal mine
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