another attempt...

[JPearson]

I could walk into a church lay out the priest and spit a miracle
And have the deaf all hearing and the voiceless people lyrical
You’ll fear it all, when I start coming swinging at ya boi
Missile deployed, you done pissed me off start acting paranoid
You’re like a toy, easy to break, a real small thing to play with
If your comeback’s bout my dick you need to get bit more creative
You deviated off the track that all the rapping greats created
Made it faded, re-directed it and took out all the paving
You need saving, when I’ve taken my full swing round lyrically
The trick to me is that I’m fucking sick, you’re shit can’t stick to me
Predict we’ll see, if I catch you bullet fired back if it’s on target
And if it hit’s it’ll brush my skin the shit won’t even mark it
The market, ain’t out for fakers like the kind you are
No rhyming star surprised that you can even try ’n find a bar
You time is far, my time is hear the clocks are standing still
So fire at will, come with full force know that I’ll be standing still

[JPearson]

if u checking this gimme some feed i wanna keep improving people... cheers yeah

[James R.]

Structure was good, flow was tiiight, lyrics were better (upped the vocab, upped the multies, upped the rhyming in general), everything was improved. And the best part is that it didn't sound forced. Sometimes (a lot of times really) people take feed and lose themselves, but you still kept your swag. Good job man.

[JPearson]

thank u man i'ma keep goin at it, wish i could record though n wish every1 could so people know how it flows proper

[JPearson]

i thought it was good structured well too. btw, boi .. ? lol .. boy

cause paranoid ends in 'oid' it makes it ryhme better, idiot





lol it dont haha im used to text tlk