5 Star Generals - Givin' Up(New)

[Spyder]

Solace
Hello, this is a message to all my friends and my family,
Seems that there has been some sort of terrible tragedy,
I'm finished without a witness so you're able to envision,
My therapy doesn't help, all 10 fingers are still stiff,
It ain't your business what I'm doing to keep straight,
The narcotics kept me numb, did it so I didn't have to take,
This fucking clip, load it, shit, and blow all of my brains away,
Well things have change, so I'm saying goodbye today,
Used to go to school, was ridiculed and daily I was harassed,
Yet people find it surprising that I ditched the class?
These hypocrites can kiss my ass, wish to rip them fast,
But that's all a dream which I see when I hit the mat,
I just vomited 3 times, honestly I always feel like shit,
Never really had parents but for real I can deal with it,
So I empty out this entire bottle of Kauffmann...
Always thought suicide was for pussies...Isn't that ironic.

McZu
Head feeling like the Eiffel, mind almost gonna perish
Like playing roulette with a rifle, people started to vanish
See… since the day of 9/11 racism was a common thing
Line between love and hate…thin, I couldn’t cop things,
Why?....Mainly ‘cause I was dwarfism on the Benjamin’s
Public enemy #1 ‘cause my skin is colored and I’m a Muslim
I must have been cornered, people tried to box me in
Though I thought outside of the box, now they are boxed in
Two friends died in the streets, hearts couldn’t court dunk
One got stabbed over a bike, the other died driving drunk
Can’t help thinking that I could have saved ‘em if I where there
Messiah complex perplexing my head I guess, still it aint fair
Was almost an Akon artists, one of my friends snitched on me
I was trying to help him, see how friends can be… homie?
Well I guess that’s the past, the present is a current gift
I Keep my eyes on tomorrow…incase the future decides to shift…

Hook(X2)
I had to eat dirt ‘fore I was able to start sippin on wine
On the streets at night forcefully grippin this nine.
I had to stand as a man ‘for I could lay with a lady
I give up baby, cause shits been difficult lately.

Spyder
Raps all I had to be me, but nothing is free at least for me
Angered easily, though this beast you see will seize to be.
Friends left for the trees conveniently, sprint and return
If you listen you’ll learn, had beats, but I was missin the words
Got dissin the worst simply because I was kickin it slurred
Vision was blurred, best believe reminiscin didn’t hurt.
Sittin in this old trailer park home alone cold and frozen,
I cant cope with hope, folks keep strollin but I’m unoticed.
They say money cant buy happiness they right… im sellin weed
im dealin out X and E, shit every letter like I was in a spellin bee.
But still I’m down, although outside theres no frown to be found
Cuz the slightest glimpse of weakness ill be beaten down.
Its deceivin now, this message I speak, presented as weak
Well ill fuckin beat your ass, thus havin extended my streak.
So if you wanna tell me lifes good, yea man stay in denial
Put me on trial, the Insomniac will stay awake for a while.

Mc Anonymous
Walkin' alone in a zone of my own, broken bones
Spittin' in the mic, rippin at my psych with spoken tones
Everytime I walk I got dead brothers at my feet
I'm smothered and I'm weak, just another damn defeat
It's a shame, when life smacks you face, cracks ya case
open with fire, desire to live is smashed, erased
I walk with my heart bleeding tears, I start seeing years
Where I can't talk, my chants stalk and I'm reaching here
At heaven, asking God to take me out of my misery
I'm spitting these tones so I may finally set me free
I pray every night, I say several likes and dislikes
but my spit like God repelent, he doesn't answer my light
I'm lost in a world where sorrow is lost in tomorrow
bones are hallow and I wallow, burned like a crow sparrow
turned to a gold shadow, as I leave my body by suicide
commit homicide and genocide inside a psychopathic bride

James R.
I know how it feels to wake up broke as fuck
Can’t see a bill or the rent without fuckin chokin up
Lookin at stores and banks thinking of ways to hold ‘em up
Paychecks don’t show enough so your car’s stolen, what?
Tryin to make an honest livin through all the killings
And crack smells through cracked ceiling I’m dealin
With more on my plate than I could have possibly ate
Spit in the face of the god whose son is gone for me, great
But fuck him and fuck you if you think I can pull through
I’m dying which side of the light will I be pulled to?
I got my parents and friends to look after, my sister too
And I can’t even let them know the shit I’m sifting through
I look in the mirror crying like damn James, this is you
I just wanna be gone from the emotion, mental, and physical
Planes of existence just let me watch over them in spirit
I know it’ll be ok but I don’t wanna fucking hear it

Hook(X2)
I had to eat dirt ‘fore I was able to start sippin on wine
On the streets at night forcefully grippin this nine.
I had to stand as a man ‘for I could lay with a lady
I give up baby, cause shits been difficult lately.

[classthe_king]

wow, im glad i checked this one more time before going to bed. I new level of maturity in everyone's writing. I could feel the pain, expecially with James. This is your guy's "move on" and its only your second song.

[gutawafang]

Interesting. I read it once and I want to read it again and again.

[Spyder]

thanks guys for the feed

[Solace]

Woah great verses everyone

[MC Anonymous]

I keystyled mine @ last minute in like 5 minutes...

[MC Anonymous]

Hello, this is a message to all my friends and my family,
Seems that there has been some sort of terrible tragedy,
I'm finished without a witness so you're able to envision,
My therapy doesn't help, all 10 fingers are still stiff,
It ain't your business what I'm doing to keep straight,
The narcotics kept me numb, did it so I didn't have to take,
This fucking clip, load it, shit, and blow all of my brains away,
Well things have change, so I'm saying goodbye today,
Used to go to school, was ridiculed and daily I was harassed,
Yet people find it surprising that I ditched the class?
These hypocrites can kiss my ass, wish to rip them fast,
But that's all a dream which I see when I hit the mat,
I just vomited 3 times, honestly I always feel like shit,
Never really had parents but for real I can deal with it,
So I empty out this entire bottle of Kauffmann...
Always thought suicide was for pussies...Isn't that ironic.

Solace, didn't really feel this verse tbh, simple rhymes. (but some good internal multies) nothing that made me go, oh wow. you've done better than this. plus you can't really rap about having clips, and loading them, when you're only 14, keep it more realistic .. ?

Head feeling like the Eiffel, mind almost gonna perish
Like playing roulette with a rifle, people started to vanish
See… since the day of 9/11 racism was a common thing
Line between love and hate…thin, I couldn’t cop things,
Why?....Mainly ‘cause I was dwarfism on the Benjamin’s
Public enemy #1 ‘cause my skin is colored and I’m a Muslim
I must have been cornered, people tried to box me in
Though I thought outside of the box, now they are boxed in
Two friends died in the streets, hearts couldn’t court dunk
One got stabbed over a bike, the other died driving drunk
Can’t help thinking that I could have saved ‘em if I where there
Messiah complex perplexing my head I guess, still it aint fair
Was almost an Akon artists, one of my friends snitched on me
I was trying to help him, see how friends can be… homie?
Well I guess that’s the past, the present is a current gift
I Keep my eyes on tomorrow…incase the future decides to shift…

McZu, i didn't think this was that good at all, i didn't see any multies. the story of the verse was alright though, i enjoyed that. but the rhymes were incredibly basic. the only impressive line was "Messiah complex perplexing my head I guess" apart from that, there was nothing special.

Raps all I had to be me, but nothing is free at least for me
Angered easily, though this beast you see will seize to be.
Friends left for the trees conveniently, sprint and return
If you listen you’ll learn, had beats, but I was missin the words
Got dissin the worst simply because I was kickin it slurred
Vision was blurred, best believe reminiscin didn’t hurt.
Sittin in this old trailer park home alone cold and frozen,
I cant cope with hope, folks keep strollin but I’m unoticed.
They say money cant buy happiness they right… im sellin weed
im dealin out X and E, shit every letter like I was in a spellin bee.
But still I’m down, although outside theres no frown to be found
Cuz the slightest glimpse of weakness ill be beaten down.
Its deceivin now, this message I speak, presented as weak
Well ill fuckin beat your ass, thus havin extended my streak.
So if you wanna tell me lifes good, yea man stay in denial
Put me on trial, the Insomniac will stay awake for a while.

Spyder, this impressed me, lots of nice multies. and you kept with the same rhyme scheme all the way through most of it. great word play in some parts too, like "im dealin out X and E, shit every letter like I was in a spellin bee." that was very good lol. i enjoyed this verse. well done.

Walkin' alone in a zone of my own, broken bones
Spittin' in the mic, rippin at my psych with spoken tones
Everytime I walk I got dead brothers at my feet
I'm smothered and I'm weak, just another damn defeat
It's a shame, when life smacks you face, cracks ya case
open with fire, desire to live is smashed, erased
I walk with my heart bleeding tears, I start seeing years
Where I can't talk, my chants stalk and I'm reaching here
At heaven, asking God to take me out of my misery
I'm spitting these tones so I may finally set me free
I pray every night, I say several likes and dislikes
but my spit like God repelent, he doesn't answer my light
I'm lost in a world where sorrow is lost in tomorrow
bones are hallow and I wallow, burned like a crow sparrow
turned to a gold shadow, as I leave my body by suicide
commit homicide and genocide inside a psychopathic bride

Anon, like with every verse you write, i can't help but feel that i've read it before, all your pieces are insanely similar. (i know i'm the same with love songs) but i mean, every time i read a new piece from you, it's like i've read it before. nice multies though, as always. oh and btw, you can't commit suicide, and then commit homicide, that's impossible, you're already dead after suicide.

I know how it feels to wake up broke as fuck
Can’t see a bill or the rent without fuckin chokin up
Lookin at stores and banks thinking of ways to hold ‘em up
Paychecks don’t show enough so your car’s stolen, what?
Tryin to make an honest livin through all the killings
And crack smells through cracked ceiling I’m dealin
With more on my plate than I could have possibly ate
Spit in the face of the god whose son is gone for me, great
But fuck him and fuck you if you think I can pull through
I’m dying which side of the light will I be pulled to?
I got my parents and friends to look after, my sister too
And I can’t even let them know the shit I’m sifting through
I look in the mirror crying like damn James, this is you
I just wanna be gone from the emotion, mental, and physical
Planes of existence just let me watch over them in spirit
I know it’ll be ok but I don’t wanna fucking hear it

James, this was very good, the best verse of this song by a mile. it had a story to it, it rhymed well, it was orginal, and fresh. nice drop. maybe the rest of the five generals can stop a minute and learn from you. very impressive. my favourite lines were "I look in the mirror crying like damn James, this is you, I just wanna be gone from the emotion, mental, and physical" that was good. what was lacking though, was word play, i don't think i saw any, but in this kind of track, word play isn't needed. that's text battling stuff. apart from that, well done.

I had to eat dirt ‘fore I was able to start sippin on wine
On the streets at night forcefully grippin this nine.
I had to stand as a man ‘for I could lay with a lady
I give up baby, cause shits been difficult lately.

i don't know who wrote this hook, but it's meh ..

............

all in all, pretty disappointing, especially as it was written by the so called '5 star generals'

James and Spyder saved this track ..

LOL

[MC Anonymous]

what .. ? i fed the track in depth. you should be happy, no one does tht nemore.

[mcZu]

Thanks for checking it out everyone, even you Scotty. And it ain all 'bout the mutlies bro, but thanks for the criticisme anyways. IMO all the verses were good.

[Spyder]

good feed from everyone really, Scotty thanks for the feed bro, i dont expect everyone that reads it to likes it i believe that is impossible. I thought that everyone's verse was great and we didnt really need wordplay or crazy multies or anything in this kinda piece u know? but im glad that u liked mine and James verse although u should prolly decypher everyone cuz it was all dope imo. but yes Anon like freestyled that shit in about 1 minute when i was talking to him so thats that. and i came up with the hook, and i relize that its not superb, but i thought it fit the track nice and had some interesting lines in there

[James R.]

Ok despite whether or not you agree with what Scott said, one thing is right. 90% of people on TR don't go into CW and of that 10% that do most of them don't feed verses, let alone 5 verses with a hook. Thanks for checkin Scott and everyone else who took a glimpse.

I personally thought everyone brought a good verse and did their thing. Good collabing with you guys again. UPPIN FOR MORE FEEDBACK!

[JMG]

I like all the verses and how they all had the same feel, james killed it though lots of emotion especially in his verse.

didnt like the hook though

[Spyder]

Generals gettin even mre propz

[Solace]

Oh fuck didnt notice JMG's feedback

Props both of you

[mcZu]

Ahh, my perish/paris-eifel punch, this brings back memories. Wrote my verse while I was traveling back from Morocco to The Netherlands.