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Unreleased Verse

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Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Jul 29th, '09, 01:44

an old love verse i never released because I didnt like the way it ended. i dont care anymore so yeah. I'm not good at love verses at all so dont expect much.

Walked through my hallways, watched as she gracefully passed,
Now I sit with a tear, reminiscing what had lately passed,
I would try to make eye-contact but it only ripped me up,
When she looked the other way, yet my eyes were always stuck,
Managed through days, wanted to go through a new phase,
But my mind had her face still and clearer than blue-ray,
So I spoke to her...I was able to become her good friend,
Never knew that this relationship...so quickly it would end,
She was moving that August, I had never told her my feelings,
I had a fish on the hook but I couldn't tell if I was reeling,
So I asked her if she could handle what I was about to say,
She had agreed to keep her lips pursed, man I loved that day,
Cause that's when I found out that she had always liked me,
Even when we would curse and when she would try to fight me,
So we spent our days and our nights always together,
I honored our friendship...seems that I'd love her forever.
So it was July, I had saviored every precious moment with her,
There was no boundaries to how much I would have missed her,
She was my angel, cause before her my life was going no where,
And now that shes leaving..Well who said that life was so fair,
We laughed laying together, sitting by that special tree,
The moments countless, bringing happiness was her specialty,
And on her last day I had kissed her goodbye,
I didn't know know the amount an actual human could cry,
So she moved away and I hadn't spoken to her since that flight,
I tried to track her down a year later then I found out she died.
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby classthe_king » Jul 29th, '09, 04:35

I liked it I agree it's not one of your best pieces but I can relate to it. You had some great lines in their too.
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Jul 29th, '09, 04:45

classthe_king wrote:I liked it I agree it's not one of your best pieces but I can relate to it. You had some great lines in their too.

Thanks :happy:
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby ritchieA » Jul 29th, '09, 23:35

i liked it pretty gd overall considerin u dnt think ur gd at love verses :y:
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Jul 30th, '09, 01:52

Thank you Ritchie and Scott. And no I've never been in love, I'm a bit too young for that; more like little crushes around this age.
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby mcZu » Jul 30th, '09, 01:56

Yeah, it was not bad. I think it would make a good story teling song if recorded with some nice adlibs and a good beat. Shit would give you goosbumps at the end. Not your best, it's even a bit average for your doing, but good nonetheless.
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Jul 30th, '09, 01:59

Thanks McZu :y:

And I won't ever record again til I get a hold of even a shitty 20 buck mic. I just don't wanna record with a fuckin camera.
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby JPearson » Jul 30th, '09, 10:10

i liked it, it was good... but it woulda def made it better if you have been in love, more motivation n feelings are put into it :y:
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Jul 30th, '09, 17:24

Yes I think I got that from Scotty's post, and weell im sorry i havent been in love im 14 what do you expect of me smfh

but thanks :flutter:
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Noeezy » Aug 1st, '09, 08:47

pretty good, i liked this line
She was moving that August, I had never told her my feelings,
I had a fish on the hook but I couldn't tell if I was reeling,


wasn't expecting the ending, it made the verse better, but did that really happen?
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Fa-Q » Aug 1st, '09, 08:53

I thought it was dope...Id like to see 3 verses and make it a song....but do whatcha want man dope...and that blue ray line was cool
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Re: Unreleased Verse

Postby Solace » Aug 1st, '09, 16:38

MusicPimp wrote:pretty good, i liked this line
She was moving that August, I had never told her my feelings,
I had a fish on the hook but I couldn't tell if I was reeling,


wasn't expecting the ending, it made the verse better, but did that really happen?

Thanks man, and naw it didn't happen haha :y:

@Fa-Q, thanks to you too, i was thinking about that too last night making it 3 16's and have a chorus so it could really expand to the ending.
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