Soldiers out of line - read & comment

[emzee-frenzy]

i always talk to myself
always wanna keep in contact
thirsty for fortune and wealth
Devil, i won't sign your contract
since i was a little kid
this shit got into my head
and i aint never gonna quit
not for anything instead
every night i crawl in bed
and i reorganise my mind
cause every time i take them meds
my thoughts are soldiers out of line
i'm the 5 star general
gotta keep em all in order
in my mind is martial law
gotta keep on marching forward
all the time keepin it raw
till the day the war is over
and gain our medals of honnor
cause' we oh so well deserve 'em
afterwards i fall asleep
dreaming victory's rewards but
when i wake up i'm the same me
gotta keep on marching forward.

[emzee-frenzy]

aight guys so tell me what is your opi nion...

[classthe_king]

It's alright, the rhyming and complexity could use some working on but emotion and subject matter was definitely there.

[emzee-frenzy]

yea, i intentionally kept it simple.

[classthe_king]

yea, i intentionally kept it simple.

haha that's always good man, sometimes trying to make it more complicated ruins the message.

[emzee-frenzy]

yeah , that's right