Pain

[BILI]

I`m sitting alone in this room till this late hour
Thinkin bout the best way to get the money and the power
But actually I`m finiding it really hard,really difficult to do
Mom,remember our last conversation I never ment to insult you
Your the reason that I exist,but its time for me to exit
The nest in which I spend 17 years in,I hope your not pissed
And that you know its really hard for me to resist this
The pain that comin,tears are comin,I hope you know that you`ll be missed

Somethin new...plz some feed and tips too...this is my 3rd verse

[D'Leh]

really deep man good work dude!

[BILI]

thx appreciate it man

[BILI]

bump

[BILI]

bump

thx,dude

[gutawafang]

Pretty short and good expression. Keep practicing.

[BILI]

Pretty short and good expression. Keep practicing.

yeah I`ve been writing 8 lines all the time,because I`m beginner

[BILI]

good expression and words but just read it out loud and work the flow, it was writ well but could use more rhyming but it wasn't bad, I remember my third drop was shit lol

thx man

[ra1n]

pretty deep

practice and read as much as you can so you can extend your vocabulary

[BILI]

pretty deep

practice and read as much as you can so you can extend your vocabulary

thx man
And yeah I know my vocab aint big enough

[BILI]

bump

[Xray]

Your the reason that I exist,but its time for me to exit
The nest in which I spend 17 years IN,I hope your not pissed
And that you know its really hard for me to resist this

Did small changes to help it flow more. IMO its words like that, that make rhymes flow more.

But yeah good piece man, when addressing personal stuff, its better to not complex the rhymes so I like it.

[BILI]

^^thx man