I'm a ghost now (N.E.W)

[Slim Zaddy]

i tried to write some different staff other than i always do. so i came up with this ... so feedback is appreciated .. and will be returned

(chorus)
People think I'm a ghost now, my thoughts often morbid,
I've misplaced my heart, and the how's not important...
it's more than crossed my mind, that I wish I could cross my mind,
but I can't shake it, numbers didn't add up when I lost my wife.

verse 1
She was perfect and amazing, superb and tasty...
I could always break free leave it to her to save me,
two heads are better, but hers was aching,
a point five and not by choice I'm... hurt and quaking
inside, she dies; my earth is shaking, now I'm celibate,
and if the love is gone, then I'm out of my element,
now in hell I sit... yet, I'm still above ground and shit?
really, sleeping and waking's like going out and in...
I'm bound to rips that carry me to the deep end
but can't drown in it, I'm alone and I need friends,
I can barely breath and... just before I die...
I wake and I cry - because the devil's in my mind,
with his white lies, using my blind eye to make me see;
but not clear enough to see where he's taking me...
I'm mistaking treats for horrible distaste and evil,
and I've never seen hell, but I bet my place is equal,
I replaced the people I'd loved all my life...
killed a hooker again because she asked I call her wife,
and I'm at fault? despite the fact I confide in scraps
neglect the right to have anything be mine but trash?
why would she cry and play with my mind like that?
in no time I've stacked these thoughts to climb my back,
in this place: I'm my lover and friend, and I'm my dad,
and inside of that's a truth I have no chance concealing,
it's like I'm sleeping... but where I stand's a real dream,
right next to her on the couch,
- and she can't feel me!

(chorus)
People think I'm a ghost now, my thoughts often morbid,
I've misplaced my heart, and the how's not important...
it's more than crossed my mind, that I wish I could cross my mind,
but I can't shake it, numbers didn't add up when I lost my wife.


I loved her...
but I've been thinking too much
and as a ghost,
I'm no longer needing to love;
but to know!
why today my heart is pacing slow...
completely disrupting the brain-to-heart ratio

feed will be returned ,,

[emzee-frenzy]

some good stuff man i loved the ideea of being a ghost and shit, and some lines were real good

[gutawafang]

Always liked your works. Always inspires me to write better than I do. It's direct but still didn't fail to amaze me.

[classthe_king]

Dope, loved the emotion in it, the rhymes, flow, pretty much everything about it was good. Hope to see more.

[Drama Setter]

God damn good drop boi. keep posting .

[Fa-Q]

liked it...i hope you add two more verses....by the way chorus was dope.....i always struggle with hooks and this one was really good

[Slim Zaddy]

thanks all ^^^^ ... much appreciated my friends ,, glad you liked it .. i will post some more staff.. thanks again

liked it...i hope you add two more verses....by the way chorus was dope.....i always struggle with hooks and this one was really good

yeah i saw your chorus .. you can fix it ,, it will be much better,.. just take more time ,, in doing the chorus . cuz it's important