Another 6 in the morning cypher about my girl

[Yah-hah]

Sitting 6 in the morning unable to feel any kiss,
Only now does the hero see that with zero sleep she is the prettiest,
My emptiness is only filled when I am kissed, her body viewed in full by mine,
Distracted by the actions of her beautiful design,
Never as beautiful a time as the one that we’ve got now,
And we can both run away just once we’ve thought how,
My car can only go so far and the stars are still playing hide and seek,
I’d fly to meet the kindest thing but her eyes can’t see that with her I fly until the sky can’t reach,
Each word I can’t speak for my page is only so long,
With you I can conquer the world, alone I’m only so strong,
My love is the largest ocean with a thousand streams,
When I wake up next to you I stretch out to reach each mountain peak,
Every fountains’ deep know everything I’ve found you keep,
I’m bound to leap right out my seat with your hand in mine I’m now complete,
I‘m sound asleep with open eyes emotions rise in this hopeless fight,
Looking in her soft-spoken eyes so brown yes that is where the ocean lies and me oh I’m just floating by,
I’m hoping my open skies won’t divide but both will shine to show her these aren’t just a poets lies but my own disguise to hope that I can forever sit in this golden sky just my girl and I.

[gutawafang]

the multis is good this time.

and the structure still sucks man.

quite good overall.

this line:
Looking in her soft-spoken eyes so brown yes that is where the ocean lies and me oh I’m just floating by
DOPE.

[Yah-hah]

wat you mean structure. I wrote this and alot of my other stuff by just sittin at the computer and going so I'm kinda confused wat you talking bout?

[gutawafang]

wat you mean structure. I wrote this and alot of my other stuff by just sittin at the computer and going so I'm kinda confused wat you talking bout?

Structure is the way you arrange your words per line.

The lines should be of the same length. Kinda like when you build a building out of lego blocks.

I think I understood after reading this.
viewtopic.php?f=26&t=3377

But around the forum, Solace has pointed out about structure many times.

[Yah-hah]

Yeah I think the way the flow sounds in my head kinda throws poeple off a bit. It's like A bit faster with more words per line than most other people.