i want everything!

[drasticlyhated]

i want everything,
the money and the cars
the chicks ill pass
they only get so far
i go so hard, my flow so tight
tighter than some skinny jeans
with a new flight, rockin my style
dont take no one elses, i never idolize
rappers, cuz they so selfish,
im not a monster,but im in a cage
been here for years and spittin for days
my words like a spray,everything i say
stick like a fly to a sticker, i even right my own plays
evrything you said was stuck in my head,said ill never
make it,and ill never make no bread,but i got a dream
to fullfill a family to provide for, this is not the eminem
show but this is my encore

(chorus)
i rap for the money,maybe for the cars
hoes aint nothin, aint touched them so far
take my baby shoppin, no limit to da card
catch me in the mall and we'll see who you are
rims on da whip, yea they go hard,always suited
up never been to a bar, to much vodka and you catch a scar
we havin a good time,dont take it to far

im also still waiting on my writing partner to finish his part so this song isnt done yet

[drasticlyhated]

feed please

[gutawafang]

Structure looks like a staircase and it's not a compliment. I'm giving honest feed and I don't think it flows well. The words you use are pretty common and it does not bring out YOU. I mean, there's no YOU in this. It sounds generic I mean.

The chorus is quite okay. The choice of words is pretty on topic.

I think you should keep writing and keep improving man.

[drasticlyhated]

hey, theres nothin wrong with honesty but thanks for the advice it really helps
its alose kinda an r&b song to you'd have to here the audio its sounds really good

[gutawafang]

hey, theres nothin wrong with honesty but thanks for the advice it really helps
its alose kinda an r&b song to you'd have to here the audio its sounds really good

Audio coming right up.