Diss to this kid at my college...

[daddycoco23]

how you think (like i said i suck, but still please positive feedback) he smells worse then shit...

hey, garth not my fault you smell worse then barf/
jesus christ put a scarf around your mouth/
you breath smells like people shitting from the deep south/ (crappy line i know..)
you say i cant rhyme what am i doing right now?/
da boom da boom boom boom pow/
just kicked ya motha in the face what now?!/
i have more hits then chuck norris/
i just fucked your girlfriend deloris/ (his girlfriends name is deloris too lol)
whos that your sister?/
oh yea i remember her!/
the one i fucked july first, second and the third/

(all i got so far)

[daddycoco23]

feed back plz

[Solace]

Not trying to be rude but

(crappy line i know..)

describes this entire piece.

And that you're in college and you're at like grade 1 level in writing makes this worse as a diss too.

But this was better than your 2nd one not near the first.

Overall, this piece smells worse than Garth. Try getting help from a better writer here.

[Emadyville]

what solace said, if this wasn't a diss I'd be less harsh, but this is terrible, try and get help form someone with writing

[Spyder]

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, cmon
ask around for help bro

[daddycoco23]

i need help lol no really i do got this producer helping me out from now on ima post my next rap up now its way better

[Solace]

i need help lol no really i do got this producer helping me out from now on ima post my next rap up now its way better

Yeah I know my lyrics get better every single time I bite another writers lyrics!

Who should I bite next?

Eminem?

Jay-Z?

2Pac?

You're the master of ripping off lyrics so come on tell me, I need advice Mr. Coco!!!

[daddycoco23]

i need help lol no really i do got this producer helping me out from now on ima post my next rap up now its way better

Yeah I know my lyrics get better every single time I bite another writers lyrics!

Who should I bite next?

Eminem?

Jay-Z?

2Pac?

You're the master of ripping off lyrics so come on tell me, I need advice Mr. Coco!!!

eminem....perfecto

[Solace]

Word thats what I thinking...I'ma rip off one of his old underground tracks that no one would think I bit it, you know?

[daddycoco23]

Word thats what I thinking...I'ma rip off one of his old underground tracks that no one would think I bit it, you know?

word