THE RETURN

[Arabian Shady]

Aiyo! i know i havnt posted anything here in a reali long time-approx a year and i've been itchin to get back to writing again.I wrote this verse about a month ago but never got around to posting it but now that, i have i'd appreciate if you guys showed some love and leavin feedback-positive or negative i dont mind at all

Its just a verse lettin every one know that WHENEVER i drop, i'ma go hard, do my thing and Kill it..so NEVER..EVER..doubt me.

Mystical, mysterious, i'm back from my sebatical
A radical ,the free spirit, the first to rep the arab world
Guns & daggers just to show,i'm bout to let these new kids know
A stick of TNT wont be,whats gonna make this shady blow!
"Whats his point? whats he sayin? he doesnt even have a regular name
Arabian? shit,quit playin that game, your not a Muhammad,let alone a
Hussein,yet you boast about runin these raps,boltin like you was Ussain"
Can you hear 'em talk? i bet you can, haters intentions ruthless man
They target you, they got a plan, they push you around everytime they can
So i push right back!, cause i can, no Ak's or Glocks -its just ma pen
then i grab the mic,makin sure that, every verse i write hits 'em like WHAM!
And i have done that!, I've ripped this bitch, this verse i wrote is proof of this
Now they hatin on me cause I'm not a native, lets see you do what i did
better than this ,and I did it in a house with rules so strict, that if i got
caught penin down this shit, i'd have it easy if i just slit ma wrists!
I've inked them down, these are my thoughts, they're timeless bitch
they dont need a watch, pointless- like a key that doesn't have a lock
restless like a mother when its after dark,"give a fuk less" when i'm coming
off the top, or focused when i'm tryin to loose this writers block,
See ma last four scored like the golden goal, but this time we upgradin
from grenades ta "C4",older than most legends,i've seen two decades roll
I've BEEN through more shit than you've SEEN unfold,and i'm ready
to drop bombs on any faggit in this bitch a couple hundred posts old.


Note: The bars in italics are in relation to a questions being raised about my Forum name and consequently-my nationality

Come on..Hit me

[Le Tunisien]

im being very honest,honestly u dont KILL IT like u said lol

[mcZu]

im being very honest,honestly u dont KILL IT like u said lol

Didn't*

That said, it was not bad. Flow was good, lyrics were good as well only thing I think could have been better is the structure. Keep it up, haven't read an Arabian Shady verse in ages. Nice to have you back in CW.

[Arabian Shady]

im being very honest,honestly u dont KILL IT like u said lol

ayte i get it, but atleast lemme know , what you think is "wrong" with it,much respect for feedin

im being very honest,honestly u dont KILL IT like u said lol

Didn't*

That said, it was not bad. Flow was good, lyrics were good as well only thing I think could have been better is the structure. Keep it up, haven't read an Arabian Shady verse in ages. Nice to have you back in CW.

glad you like the lyrics Zu, structure imo is as good as it gets, i tried changing words and flow to keep the structure intact but it usually changed the meaning of the verse. What part did you like/dislike?
Also, Props on leavin feedback homie

i thought it was really good, my favourite part was this

Guns & daggers just to show,i'm bout to let these new kids know
A stick of TNT wont be,whats gonna make this shady blow!

so catchy, i enjoyed it, well done

Wow 100% positive feedback! reali glad you like it scotty,mad props for takin time out and readin it

@ REST: Aiyo HIT ME!!!!!

[Yah-hah]

Yo man I actually dug the flow more than anything. IDK but I could flow to it really good. I liked it man. Wanna see more homie keep it up

[Arabian Shady]

Yo man I actually dug the flow more than anything. IDK but I could flow to it really good. I liked it man. Wanna see more homie keep it up

glad you like the flow , yeah i think it flows well overall, wat about the lyrics homie...my main area for development is lyrics right now,any sorta comment on that is much appreciated
Much respect for leavin feedback

[Yah-hah]

Man I dug the lyrics. It was basically a song about your return :P and that wat was in the lyrics. Just widen your word usage a little but bro it was pretty fly I like it

[B.A.D.]

interesting

I'm gonna be honest on here

as an overall its really good, but there are parts in which the rhymes and structure flow is excelent, like top notch, but there are some parts that do not have a rap scheme at all

for example:

"Guns & daggers just to show,i'm bout to let these new kids know
A stick of TNT wont be,whats gonna make this shady blow!
"Whats his point? whats he sayin? he doesnt even have a regular name
Arabian? shit,quit playin that game, your not a Muhammad,let alone a
Hussein,yet you boast about runin these raps,boltin like you was Ussain"
Can you hear 'em talk? i bet you can, haters intentions ruthless man
They target you, they got a plan, they push you around everytime they can"

this part is excelent, really really good, the structure should be fixed if you plan to record it tho, as pure text its fire

but here:

"restless like a mother when its after dark,"give a fuk less" when i'm coming
off the top, or focused when i'm tryin to loose this writers block,
See ma last four scored like the golden goal, but this time we upgradin
from grenades ta "C4",older than most legends,i've seen two decades roll"

the complete structure of this part is fucked up, what you say is good, but youre not rapping it, you need to have an equality of syllables to have it flowing, also the rhymes are kinda mixed up strangely, but I know how you tried to do this like
A
B
A
B

but unless you turn it into audio, for text this won't work at all

like I said, overall its really good, but since I only do audio, my view of this is that there are some parts, specially in the structure that you can correct

the topic and creativity of this is real good

so, just... keep it up fam

[Xray]

You already know what I think of it man, I thought it flowed like a mafucker, except some lines as Ax-D explained, but excellent job on the rest of the piece.

[MC Anonymous]

Iight, I'm going to feed this every 4 lines then give my final thoughts at the end of the feed.

Mystical, mysterious, i'm back from my sebatical
A radical ,the free spirit, the first to rep the arab world
Guns & daggers just to show,i'm bout to let these new kids know
A stick of TNT wont be,whats gonna make this shady blow!

Wow, what a great way to start the verse off, Ace flow,Ace lyrics, Ace word usage. Ace structure
5/5

"Whats his point? whats he sayin? he doesnt even have a regular name
Arabian? shit,quit playin that game, your not a Muhammad,let alone a Hussein,
yet you boast about runin these raps,boltin like you was Ussain"
Can you hear 'em talk? i bet you can, haters intentions ruthless man

Fixed the structure for you a bit on it, the rhymes were not as good as the first 4 lines, kinda typical nationalistic approach to rhymes so I didn't like that. Multies weren't all that good and the flow was a bit off. I thought you sort-of blew off these lines, the feeling I got. 3/5

They target you, they got a plan, they push you around everytime they can
So i push right back!, cause i can, no Ak's or Glocks -its just ma pen
then i grab the mic,makin sure that, every verse i write hits 'em like WHAM!
And i have done that!, I've ripped this bitch, this verse i wrote is proof of this

Average, you should utilize the multi-syllable style you did in the first 4 lines more, brings more enjoyable value to your verses as a whole. the first 3 lines the end rhymes were standard then you switched it... For what reason I have no idea, and that stopped the flow from being smooth. 3/5

Now they hatin on me cause I'm not a native, lets see you do what i did
better than this ,and I did it in a house with rules so strict, that if i got
caught penin down this shit, i'd have it easy if i just slit ma wrists!
I've inked them down, these are my thoughts, they're timeless bitch

Boring rhymes, kinda like rushed again I felt, refer to the last 4 lines for my thoughts. 2/5

they dont need a watch, pointless- like a key that doesn't have a lock
restless like a mother when its after dark,"give a fuk less" when i'm coming
off the top, or focused when i'm tryin to loose this writers block,
See ma last four scored like the golden goal, but this time we upgradin

You have that problem with end rhymes, you must fix that. The punchlines were good, I liked that. Rhymes again, boring. 3/5

from grenades ta "C4",older than most legends,i've seen two decades roll
I've BEEN through more shit than you've SEEN unfold,and i'm ready
to drop bombs on any faggit in this bitch a couple hundred posts old.
Refer to prior feed. 2/5

Note: The bars in italics are in relation to a questions being raised about my Forum name and consequently-my nationality

Come on..Hit me

Overall this was OK, first 4 lines came off strong as fuck but the rest seemed to pale in comparisn. You must utilize the multi-syllable style, as it helps flow/structure/enjoyment value. End rhymes need to rhyme and your transitions need to be smoother. Your struture needs to improve also, because the way you have it now it is like a paragraph proof, and nobody wants to read paragraph proofs.
I'd give this whole piece a 7.5/10. Keep improving.

[Solace]

Really couldnt flow to it much man. Multies were really "Eh", nothing impressed me but you obviously werent working on them in this piece. Structure was mad off too, with fixing in structure i probably wouldve gotten the flow better and understood more multies and overall it would've looked more evened out. Not hating, but I just personally didnt like it much and I'm pretty sure I've seen you do much better.

[Arabian Shady]

interesting

I'm gonna be honest on here

as an overall its really good, but there are parts in which the rhymes and structure flow is excelent, like top notch, but there are some parts that do not have a rap scheme at all

for example:

"Guns & daggers just to show,i'm bout to let these new kids know
A stick of TNT wont be,whats gonna make this shady blow!
"Whats his point? whats he sayin? he doesnt even have a regular name
Arabian? shit,quit playin that game, your not a Muhammad,let alone a
Hussein,yet you boast about runin these raps,boltin like you was Ussain"
Can you hear 'em talk? i bet you can, haters intentions ruthless man
They target you, they got a plan, they push you around everytime they can"

this part is excelent, really really good, the structure should be fixed if you plan to record it tho, as pure text its fire

but here:

"restless like a mother when its after dark,"give a fuk less" when i'm coming
off the top, or focused when i'm tryin to loose this writers block,
See ma last four scored like the golden goal, but this time we upgradin
from grenades ta "C4",older than most legends,i've seen two decades roll"

the complete structure of this part is fucked up, what you say is good, but youre not rapping it, you need to have an equality of syllables to have it flowing, also the rhymes are kinda mixed up strangely, but I know how you tried to do this like
A
B
A
B

but unless you turn it into audio, for text this won't work at all
like I said, overall its really good, but since I only do audio, my view of this is that there are some parts, specially in the structure that you can correct

the topic and creativity of this is real good

so, just... keep it up fam

I absolutely understand that, and will work on that-no doubt.
That was 100% sincere feedback and i appreciate it more than you imagine so mad props for that

[Arabian Shady]

Sorrie for double postings but it woudnt let me write more!

Overall this was OK, first 4 lines came off strong as fuck but the rest seemed to pale in comparisn. You must utilize the multi-syllable style, as it helps flow/structure/enjoyment value. End rhymes need to rhyme and your transitions need to be smoother. Your struture needs to improve also, because the way you have it now it is like a paragraph proof, and nobody wants to read paragraph proofs.
I'd give this whole piece a 7.5/10. Keep improving.

i digg that, i'ma work on those points as well, Thnx for the rating homie, your feedback is much appreciated 3

You already know what I think of it man, I thought it flowed like a mafucker, except some lines as Ax-D explained, but excellent job on the rest of the piece.

Yea thnx for keepin me motivated homie, i appreciate all the moral support and feedback as well

Really couldnt flow to it much man. Multies were really "Eh", nothing impressed me but you obviously werent working on them in this piece. Structure was mad off too, with fixing in structure i probably wouldve gotten the flow better and understood more multies and overall it would've looked more evened out. Not hating, but I just personally didnt like it much and I'm pretty sure I've seen you do much better.

hmm I thought the flow was okay, but that allright i will make sure my next verse has better structure so that you actually enjoy the verse.Your Honest feedback is much appreciated homie,thnx for reading it!

[Steve Spag]

It was a pretty good piece man, not your best, but still a dope drop. The flow was crazy the way I read it, no complaints there. Lyrics were below your standard but I can see that you're just coming back and you just need some more time before you fall back into your groove.

Keep up the good work dude, hope to see some more stuff soon!

[Arabian Shady]

It was a pretty good piece man, not your best, but still a dope drop. The flow was crazy the way I read it, no complaints there. Lyrics were below your standard but I can see that you're just coming back and you just need some more time before you fall back into your groove.

Keep up the good work dude, hope to see some more stuff soon!

Much respect steve! glad you found the flow, i've been readin it a couple of times and wonderin how i could make it better but i'ma leave it as is and move on, Thnx for readin homie