Sayf - Curmudgeon

[mcZu]

A very old verse, back when I used to call myself 'Sayf' (which is arabic for sword and it's pronounced as 'safe', which is why I liked the name.. double meaning). Structure looks fucked up, lmfao, and the flow is shaky. I guess I might tweak this verse, 'cause I love it, lol. If you guys spot any other flaws, I would appreciate it.

Sayf – Curmudgeon

[First Verse]
I closed my eyes when I realized that suddenly the lights vanished
And Vaders color magnified in the realm of these mesmerized magnets
No force left to slide a pole like whores left no Porsche emblem set
Though a red wall emerges when I set what I just said in a certain set
Still down the pole like a fireman; eagle in my hand like a fire arm man
Spliff down; hold it between my lips, sealed smoke flying above heads
Like an f16 force equipped; I drop the F and stand with a 16 to score some shit
No ‘orce’, but my source lies somewhere next to a magazine with soul
With an impact of a bird; eagle or an em sixteen, with the pen I’m mean
I’m four passed sixteen; same as the better days of hip hop so it seems
I’m a pro; you a douche, see how I produce flowing words like pouring out juice
Forcing thy out your shoes; seems you can’t stand Sayf whose; thoughts are feet
My brain runs the game; your thoughts are inches; time to face your defeat
I’m insane; though I mean I am in ‘sane’, as in I’m in a ‘sane’ mental frame
Bend the dull lame accusations like heated iron when I unsheathe my forged iron
Do what Sayf says like he is Simon; so vibe on with this emcee’s song I am...

curmudgeon…

[gutawafang]

With an impact of a bird; eagle or an em sixteen, with the pen I’m mean
I’m four passed sixteen; same as the better days of hip hop so it seems

that part needs to rhyme better imo.

Like an f16 force equipped; I drop the F and stand with a 16 to score some shit

this is dope, but the next line ain't.

The last line sounds original.

Nice name, Sayf.

[mcZu]

Thank you Guta, appreciate it.