The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Fireflies rewrite

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Fireflies rewrite

Postby Fa-Q » Jan 1st, '10, 22:22

I wrote this for a girl who loves this song...heres the original http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMr52bCXNdU


You would not believe your eyes,
If I tried to fly you to higher skies,
And I lit your world as you fall asleep,
Cause if your awoke there,
And left tear drops everywhere,
I'd just try to change the mood,
By just trying to hold your hand there,


I'd like to make myself leave,
But each day, my love is, growing,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never like my dreams,


Cause I'll give you a thousand hugs,
While on my cheek there's a lipstick smudge,
As you try to teach me how to dance,
You dance above in red,
As I dream of you while in my bed,
A simple girl that's changing my head,


I'd like to make myself leave,
But each day, my love is, growing,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never like my dreams,


When I fall asleep
I try to dream, but you just distract,
(Please make me stay here)
Cause you make me such an insomniac
(Please make me stay here)
Why do keep doubting me,
(Please make me stay here)
-----, I'm too awake to fall asleep,
Here we sit in higher skies,
Your room is lit with fire flies
As I miss your eyes, when they say farewell
But you'll know I'm never far,
As long as you wish on a star,
Cause I saved a few for you and I keep them in my car,


I'd like to make myself leave,
But each day, my love is, growing,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never like my dreams,
I'd like to make myself leave,
But each day, my love is, growing,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never like my dreams,
I'd like to make myself leave,
But each day, my love is, growing,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Cause everything is never like my dreams,
Because my dreams are bursting at the seems,
User avatar
Fa-Q
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 8404
Joined: Dec 20th, '08, 21:15

Re: Fireflies rewrite

Postby Yah-hah » Jan 2nd, '10, 08:08

Wow was kinda ill bro. A few words kinda off but really good. I liked the lipstick smudge line. Chorus is spot on though man
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: Fireflies rewrite

Postby Fa-Q » Jan 2nd, '10, 11:04

Thinks Jus...
User avatar
Fa-Q
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 8404
Joined: Dec 20th, '08, 21:15


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users