The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

"Released" 3rd Verse

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

"Released" 3rd Verse

Postby 2sDay » Jan 17th, '10, 02:07

Gotta love my pretty baby, she's such a tidy lady,
Without her I'd be really crazy, still stealin' Shady,
Posters and lyrics, being a poser with gimmicks,
A loner watching flicks, some stoner getting kicks,
Off of getting a boner watching chicks, lick dicks,
Like Limp Biskit, when they rode Gaga's disco sticks,
No more of that shit, lovely girl with not one flat tit,
Not a fat bitch, flirty and fit, she's my emergency kit,
Jumping around with those curvy hips, teaching me flips,
But I only see lips, still waiting for us to finally equips,
Ourselves for bedroom hour, in 2sDay's doom tower,
Where boom boom goes our room, just by the hour,
First it's sour, next bursts a flower, then immersed a shower,
Sex quite complex, girl tied and sexed, all undressed,
Loving this fun game, sun came and went, still not stressed,
She a hot mess, been through lots of tests, hasen't fessed,
Her love for me, I know she adores me, trust me we've kissed,
Last edited by 2sDay on Jan 17th, '10, 22:50, edited 1 time in total.
The 2sDay Massacre
Image
Props to Solace and dR.dR3

3 AM>Relapse, Beautiful>Deja Vu, 2sDay>Every Other Day, dR.dR3>Dr. Dre
User avatar
2sDay
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Dec 24th, '09, 03:36
Location: Miami, Florida
Gender: Male

Re: "Released" 3rd Verse

Postby Fa-Q » Jan 17th, '10, 02:15

Seemed a bit short but meh....I liked this verse...flow was easy and the rhyming scheme was different. Definately a step up from the second verse...yea thisll be dope, just revise the second verse...better hook and this'll be a dope drop...keep it up
User avatar
Fa-Q
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 8404
Joined: Dec 20th, '08, 21:15

Re: "Released" 3rd Verse

Postby 2sDay » Jan 17th, '10, 03:13

Fa-Q wrote:Seemed a bit short but meh....I liked this verse...flow was easy and the rhyming scheme was different. Definately a step up from the second verse...yea thisll be dope, just revise the second verse...better hook and this'll be a dope drop...keep it up

yea that's what Im a do right now.... re-make the 2nd verse and hook, revise all my verses, and then post the song as a whole. :happy:
again thanks for ur feed :y:
The 2sDay Massacre
Image
Props to Solace and dR.dR3

3 AM>Relapse, Beautiful>Deja Vu, 2sDay>Every Other Day, dR.dR3>Dr. Dre
User avatar
2sDay
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Dec 24th, '09, 03:36
Location: Miami, Florida
Gender: Male

Re: "Released" 3rd Verse

Postby 2sDay » Jan 17th, '10, 20:40

bump :whistle:
The 2sDay Massacre
Image
Props to Solace and dR.dR3

3 AM>Relapse, Beautiful>Deja Vu, 2sDay>Every Other Day, dR.dR3>Dr. Dre
User avatar
2sDay
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Dec 24th, '09, 03:36
Location: Miami, Florida
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron