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Enigma verse

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Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 00:09

Thought I'd give this a shot on this site. Enjoy or hate, and critique on the side. :flutter:


When Prometheus brought fire to mortals I damned them
As tidal waves transcend leaving one guy surviving man.
See God told Noah that life's flight was down spiralin'
And that I was the one pilotin', fist fightin seraphims
Making the world rumble on horse-drawn carriages
enough G forces that'll divide people like marriages
Till magma bubbles up through the Mariana Trench
And Satan's laugh can be perceived without a sixth sense.
But see I don't fuck with irrelevant shit honestly
I spit the truth to cast your futures like magisteries
Leave you questioning yourself in the mirror like Bloody Mary
Like hitting a shot of Everclear it's something daring
U.S' been undermined, this country not steady
This country buried and a coming of wondering Yeti's
The sun's glare settling as the temperature plummets heavily
Your heart beat's an icicle through the chest pressured steadily
Hardening your blood cells so they burst from head to feet
And the frozen water expands till you're bloated like kidney's
But I'll bring back the heat you need, call me antifreeze.
As the tingling settles in with a kick of the amphetamines.
The rhymes turn to hemoglobin keeping the message flowin,
Bringing enough oxygen to have you live through what I wrote in
Because I had spoken and what I was saying? not for gloatin
I bring you word from the Ark of the Covenant's holdin'
You'll need to devise a plan to counteract demise
That was pre-told in biblical scripts before our time.
So don't sit and wonder what I'm saying, take action
I've already fallen and our hope is in your faction.
Last edited by WhatsAnEnigma on Mar 2nd, '10, 06:02, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 05:31

This isn't perfect by any means so you know if anyone would mind a minute or two and critique so I can improve it'd be appreciated.. :shakehead:
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 05:39

Coleon wrote:tbh I can't read past those first two lines

I'm a huge fan of being lyrical and sporadic

but that shit just sounded like a reach and generally boring

I'm generally not a dick but I'm tired and I'll give you real feed if you post again


No I don't want to hear lies, if you have suggestions go at it.

* You mean as in if I post another rap?..
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby gutawafang » Mar 2nd, '10, 05:42

WhatsAnEnigma wrote:
Coleon wrote:tbh I can't read past those first two lines

I'm a huge fan of being lyrical and sporadic

but that shit just sounded like a reach and generally boring

I'm generally not a dick but I'm tired and I'll give you real feed if you post again


No I don't want to hear lies, if you have suggestions go at it.

* You mean as in if I post another rap?..

word.

your vocab is quite good. :y:
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 05:52

The fuck people keep thinking I'm from rap dog..
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:03

Coleon wrote:
WhatsAnEnigma wrote:The fuck people keep thinking I'm from rap dog..


Lol Idk, we never get new (contributing) people and lately they've been from Rap Dogs or LilWayneHQ.

I read through the whole thing and it wasn't bad, I felt some deeper meaning and I actually enjoyed as it unfolded. The first two lines through me off but in the end it was pretty good. :b:


I'm about to hop off for the night, school and the likes. I changed the first two lines after a quick look over and made my point more obvious.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:06

So now you're hitting on me? I'm out now honestly after I comment someone's stuff.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:14

Coleon wrote:I prefer the term Conundrum over enigma tbh.

Enigma was a good villain on Advanced Wars though.l


Nice, and I didn't try to but does the name kind of lead to an end, seeing as you can define an enigma but it's still a mysterious thing in a way, so if someone defines one then it's not an enigma since it's been defined, unless it was previously one and in that instance it's not anymore but serves as an example.
That was awkward and I'm probably wrong haha.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:17

Coleon wrote:It's a chicken and egg situation of a phrase


Oh you've set yourself up for it-

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Pre-Adamite.
A arm a leg a leg a arm a head.

Name the song if you can.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby GoodGirlsGetGutted » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:28

The fuck?
Vocab wise, this looks like something I'd write.
That's a good thing.

What were the original first 2 lines?
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

-Chaos zawladnal światem po raz kolejny-
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:33

When fire was brought to Homo Erectus I damned them
as a Leviathan and there's only one guy surviving man.

The changed ones (current) suite it more and make my motives more obvious.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby Tash8 » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:37

i thought it was ok...ur style reminded me of immortal technique... I didn't see a point to the verse though, it seemed u were telling me random stuff that I didn't really care to know

the tricky part is being lyrical but at the same time being relevant and capture the audience's attention, you proved lyrical prowess but work on being relate-able.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby WhatsAnEnigma » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:46

Tash8 wrote:i thought it was ok...ur style reminded me of immortal technique... I didn't see a point to the verse though, it seemed u were telling me random stuff that I didn't really care to know

the tricky part is being lyrical but at the same time being relevant and capture the audience's attention, you proved lyrical prowess but work on being relate-able.


I'm sure there are songs of his that are that, but from a good portion of Tech's songs there's meanings behind them, whether they're informative to current situations or just a kind of follow along. I get what you're saying.

I kind of contradict myself being in the beginning I'm bringing damnation to mankind and the earth as a whole, yet I say that the listener is the only one that can save us from apocalypse. It's whatever though.

* If I rap about gay guys will you flock to it seeing as that might be a rather drawing story for you considering your avatar?

The opportunity was there so I seized it.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby Tash8 » Mar 2nd, '10, 06:48

WhatsAnEnigma wrote:
Tash8 wrote:i thought it was ok...ur style reminded me of immortal technique... I didn't see a point to the verse though, it seemed u were telling me random stuff that I didn't really care to know

the tricky part is being lyrical but at the same time being relevant and capture the audience's attention, you proved lyrical prowess but work on being relate-able.


I'm sure there are songs of his that are that, but from a good portion of Tech's songs there's meanings behind them, whether they're informative to current situations or just a kind of follow along. I get what you're saying.

I kind of contradict myself being in the beginning I'm bringing damnation to mankind and the earth as a whole, yet I say that the listener is the only one that can save us from apocalypse. It's whatever though.


by comparing you to immortal, i was specifically talking about you guys both being informative...not saying he doesn't' have meaning behind his songs, he definitely does..you just didn't in this song.
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Re: Enigma verse

Postby Tash8 » Mar 2nd, '10, 07:01

WhatsAnEnigma wrote:* If I rap about gay guys will you flock to it seeing as that might be a rather drawing story for you considering your avatar?

The opportunity was there so I seized it.


:whistle:
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