More Facts About Chuck Norris :)

[Wendy]

When Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley make Total Gym commercials, Christy uses a higher setting. And spots him.

Chuck Norris once backed out of Celebrity Boxing, fearing the wrath of Gary Coleman.

Chuck Norris found this page and said, "Shit! I guess my unfounded and unearned popularity is over." He spent the next four hours lying face down on his silk duvet cover crying into a down pillow. Anything less wouldn't have provided enough comfort.

Chuck Norris is a chronic self-deprecating masturbator.

Chuck Norris had his penis surgically removed in order to make his roundhouse kicks higher.

Chuck Norris was once the subject of a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" bukkake. The tears of joy he wept reanimated both Jean Cocteau, who filmed the event, and Oscar Wilde, who made snide comments about Norris' masculinity.

Jack Bauer was overheard saying to Chuck Norris, "Let's get this straight: the only reason you're still conscious is because I don't wanna carry you."

Chuck Norris caused Hurricane Katrina and encouraged George W. Bush to let Michael Brown handle it.

Chuck Norris was approached by Mattel to market his controversial Homo Kung Fu Doll. However, the test market in San Francisco found it too gay and went with the Ru Paul Line instead. They kept the Kung Fu grip.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors. Who knew so many people could die of laughter?

Chuck Norris has been quoted as hitting on girls using the line, "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if the wood chuck got with YOU!"

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.

Chuck Norris didn't really tell Admiral Akbar about the trap.

Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

Chuck Norris once was at the theater watching Crossroads, when someone spotted him sending the following text message to someone: "Count me in on the gay clown orgy."

Chuck Norris has the ultimate World of Warcraft character! But he joins parties and leaves halfway through and always causes guild drama.

The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.

Chuck Norris once took a kick to the balls and didn't flinch. Chuck Norris does not have balls.

Chuck Norris once had sex with a man, not because he was gay, but because he had run out of women. When he let the man come in his mouth, that was because he was gay.

Chuck Norris's penis has master envy.

Chuck Norris was once invited back to his high school to speak at a graduation. Upon his arrival, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse said, "That's not Zack Morris, that's Chuck Norris!" Mr. Belding broke the bad news to the class that Zack would not be attending the graduation, then delivered a roundhouse kick to Chuck Norris and sent him to detention.

Chuck Norris always insists that he's joking when he sniggers in his camp voice, "I'm going outside to have a fag, and then I'm going to have a cigarette." But we all know he's not joking.

Chuck Norris didn't go to college, but his mom went to college!

Chuck Norris can suck the AIDS virus right out of a grown man's cock, then spit it into a bottle for research.

Chuck Norris has no friends on Myspace.

Chuck Norris' ejaculatory fluid is composed of 100% Noxema skin cream.

During his first night at college, Chuck Norris drank a beer and puked all over himself. Thus, the phrase "chucking" was born.

Chuck Norris once ate a dog because he couldn't find the can opener in his new cabinets.

Chuck Norris wrote the Bible. Nice one, Chuck.

Chuck Norris once fought Vin Diesel...and got absolutely fucked up.

Chuck Norris goes to bars and slips roofies into his own dirty martinis in hopes of getting picked up.

Before being discovered as a martial arts talent, Chuck Norris was a writer for Hallmark greeting cards.

Chuck Norris' vagina is so wide that his thighs don't touch even when his legs are crossed.

Chuck Norris pisses Zima.

It is no happy coincidence that Chuck Norris and LaToya Jackson have never appeared in public together.

Chuck Norris' poo is pure roughage.

Chuck Norris once walked into a gay bar because he wanted to. Another time, he walked into another gay bar. Now, it is a weekly habit.

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the

[AspirinE]

LOL nice

So wendy? ... u back to visit or u gone stay? been quite sometime.

[Ivy]

Is Chuck Norris the guy that stars in Walkis Texas Ranger?

[AspirinE]

Is Chuck Norris the guy that stars in Walkis Texas Ranger?

The one with the red beard lol ... yes its him.

[Wendy]

I've always been here.

[AspirinE]

I've always been here.

Hmmm... cool den.

[AspirinE]

I've always been here.

Hmmm... cool den.

lol at these btw asp what film is ya sig from is driving me mad cos ive seen it

enemy at the gates. Comrade Zaitcev shoot off ze germans.

[AspirinE]

thanks cos it botheres me when that happens lol

I know the feeling...

Sleepless nights, headaches.... etc