How to Talk to your Ex

[Hopsinshadie]

So I just got a facebook group invite to our HS Reunion in 2 years. Ours is coming up in less than a couple of years. I'm hoping we just do it a year early & get this bitch over with. My ex girl also joined the group & I am feeling very nostalgic right now. I have not seen her in person all but one time since summer of 06. I was a bad boyfriend; I was high & missed her birthday twice in a row, spat in her face once when arguing drunk at a club, and constantly griped anger (she broke her own arm fighting me) when guys would hit on her and she blames me for her overdose one time when I wasn't even with her, she had to be taken to the hospital and she never forgave me for her own problem. We had problems to say the least. But the thing is we are each others links to the past. We've known each other since kindergarten and was even best friends in the early elementary school days.

Once we split, I left countless calls, wrote letters, sent emails and texts for a whole year and she basically took off the face of the Earth. After she OD'd she stopped returning my calls and wouldn't even tell me how she was doing. I felt bad but she had the guts to put the guilt on me when there were many times I even argued with her telling her she was a lightweight drunk & needed to tone it down. so she moved to a different building, then I heard she had moved again, but when I asked all her friends they all gave me different answers in regards of where she was living. I don't think facebook was around at the time, or I wasn't aware of it back then. Thank god that shit's around now.

I was miserable everyday for years. She was the perfect medicine for me and everything we said clicked and resignated in each other. Anyways, a few years ago she called me up to say hi and told me how she had improved her life and was all about sobriety. It was annoying because that was the same time Recovery came out and I didn't believe she'd hold up. That's one of the reasons I couldn't stand Recovery. But whatever good for her. I tried to commiserate with her but she didn't even want to go that route, she was speaking like a million miles an hour. She was annoying as shit because when I asked if I could see her, she made up all kinds of lame BS excuses like the fact she was too busy, had to spend time with her mom, volunteer work, grad school, blah blah blah blah. Then she told me that she wasn't married or seeing anyone and that if she ever married someone it would have been me. She basically told me I'm the one. It's all just hard to get type BS. She's giving me signs she wants me to do something romantic and surprising. Why'd she call me to tell me how much better off she was now than then if she didn't want to see me? Is there any sense in that? See this is what i don't understand about girls. She's not even a woman. She still needs to grow up.

I even found her on facebook and she never accepted my friend request. She hides all her shit too.
I decided that I was over her. But not completely. She's been back on my mind the last year though. And even though it's still a couple of years away, I'm gonna surprise her if she shows up at class reunion. I'm better too, I don't drink much or smoke weed anymore hardly ever, I've matured. And I have no anger. So I'm not even gonna go there trying to impress her. I don't even give a shit, that's the vibe I have to bring. But a part of me is going to have to make some kind of bold move or I won't be able to live with myself for a long time. This could be my chance.

Remember how I said I always listen to 'Beautiful Pain?' It's like I'm sad, but still think I deserve her. She's a spoiled brat who thinks that everything is supposed to just happen on its own. We are losing valuable years, she's wasted her sweet ass time trying to run from me. I believe we are soul mates and I'm ready to commit. She's gonna wake up 30 one day and realize how alone she is and how spoiled she was, just trying to play games and take the high road. But everything she put herself through was her own fault. I wasn't perfect, but I worked at our relationship everyday. And after all our turmoil, HEY, I'm Stronger THAN I WASSSS

[Solace]

Hey man. You do you. Good luck. livemywaytohell

[momentsgolden]

Ok, i thought it was a troll post at first. Still not sure... Feels like there was alot of emotion in that writing

anyway, like you said, you gotta swallow your pride, be bold and try work it out. If she turns you down, shit happens, dust yourself off and move on. Oh, btw, the sooner you do it the better. Waiting 2 years would be unproductive

[Guess_Who]

Ok, i thought it was a troll post at first. Still not sure... Feels like there was alot of emotion in that writing

anyway, like you said, you gotta swallow your pride, be bold and try work it out. If she turns you down, shit happens, dust yourself off and move on. Oh, btw, the sooner you do it the better. Waiting 2 years would be unproductive

haha Same here, I don't know if it is a troll post...

But anyway. If that's truth, you are probably idealizing her. For what you say the relation was all but great.

But you can try it, talk to her and tell her what do you feel. But if she says no, just move on....stalk her won't help.

[SajN]

Okay, Hopsinshadie.


After reading your post, I don't think you should try to contact her. Yes, you feel like she is your soulmate and you're meant to be together, but after all the shit you've been through with her, and she with you, it will be 99% chance that if you get in a relationship with her again, it will fuck up in a short time.

You love Eminem. Remember back in 2005 or something, he married Kim again, but then they divorced after like.. what, one month?
It's very hard to fix the relationship between two people when they've huge problems, which is what I am assuming what you had with her based on your post.

You need to stop contacting her. Block her out of your life. The faster you do that, the faster you'll get over here. It's gonna be way easier for you to live when it happens. Believe me. You have tried to contact her million times. Has it helped? No. So block her and try to move on. It's gonna be hard in the beginning, but you gotta do it to get somewhere.

[Kill You]

Okay, Hopsinshadie.


After reading your post, I don't think you should try to contact her. Yes, you feel like she is your soulmate and you're meant to be together, but after all the shit you've been through with her, and she with you, it will be 99% chance that if you get in a relationship with her again, it will fuck up in a short time.

You love Eminem. Remember back in 2005 or something, he married Kim again, but then they divorced after like.. what, one month?
It's very hard to fix the relationship between two people when they've huge problems, which is what I am assuming what you had with her based on your post.

You need to stop contacting her. Block her out of your life. The faster you do that, the faster you'll get over here. It's gonna be way easier for you to live when it happens. Believe me. You have tried to contact her million times. Has it helped? No. So block her and try to move on. It's gonna be hard in the beginning, but you gotta do it to get somewhere.

This exactly. I've tried to get back with my ex 3 times in the course of 2 years and every time we tried it would fail. Now we're not even friends, completely out of each other's lives, and at first I was very sad about it and may have explained some of my weird posts for the past few months but I'm getting to the point where I don't even think about her like I used to.

Hopsinshadie, I know I give you shit in the Eminem section, but I'm saying this trying to be a good and helpful poster. Please heed SajN's advice and remove her from your life completely. Block her on FB, maybe make a little bit of small chat at the reunion if you see her and then walk away acting like you don't care. Just stop this because it will ruin you and who you are. I used to be so nice, hardly cursed and all of that, and then I met this chick. Who I loved and still care for but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. Get over her, for your sake. It will only bring you pain and suffering bro.

[theJFKshow]

Get drunk and spit in her face again

[Notalius]

Get drunk and spit in her face again

I thought you only post on SL

[Hopsinshadie]

This exactly. I've tried to get back with my ex 3 times in the course of 2 years and every time we tried it would fail. Now we're not even friends, completely out of each other's lives, and at first I was very sad about it and may have explained some of my weird posts for the past few months but I'm getting to the point where I don't even think about her like I used to.

Hopsinshadie, I know I give you shit in the Eminem section, but I'm saying this trying to be a good and helpful poster. Please heed SajN's advice and remove her from your life completely. Block her on FB, maybe make a little bit of small chat at the reunion if you see her and then walk away acting like you don't care. Just stop this because it will ruin you and who you are. I used to be so nice, hardly cursed and all of that, and then I met this chick. Who I loved and still care for but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. Get over her, for your sake. It will only bring you pain and suffering bro.

But see what you don't know is I know exactly how she thinks. I knew her since kindergarten and we always had a strong connection, I could always shock her when reading her mind. And I know that she's still bitter about the past and refuses to have an open mind. She tries to avoid me on purpose, not to get me out of her life, but to make me work harder. Like I said, I think she's just spoiled and has had everything handed to her and expects to get whatever she wants. You probably don't believe it but I know its true. She's not just taking the high road. She's just trying to forget her past and pretends like we never knew each other. She has the most fickle personality ever.

I truly believe that 99 percent of what she went through was her own fault. I was a punching bag that she would blame. Like when she broke her arm, she was the one trying to hit me. But she is going to suffer if she doesn't just face the facts and confront the truth.

Like I said if she shows up at the reunion (and that's the reason I'm going) I'm going to act like I don't give 2 shits. But she needs to remember who I am and what I stand for. She thinks that all the time in the world exists. She thinks she can just forgive me in another 10 years, but it don't work like that, time is too precious. The stuff we fought over was incredibly stupid. And if she really has matured, she has to get over it and just face me face to face.

I know waiting a year or two sounds stupid, but at this point trying to contact her or even send her a facebook or instagram request would be stalking according to her. She knows it's not, but she is trying to act like she's fully invincible to me, so I'm done trying to find her the conventional way.

[Devil'sAdvocate]

Keep trying, or find someone else.

[Hopsinshadie]

Keep trying, or find someone else.

I could find someone else but she is a link to my whole childhood. There will never be another girl out there that knew me as well as her. And the same goes for her. that one time that she called, she said if she hadn't married me, she wasn't married. She knows that we are each others one and only, and I hate to sound cliche but I can't put it all in words. It's the feeling we both have. I'm ready to try again. She needs to know that.

[Notalius]

Keep trying, or find someone else.

I could find someone else but she is a link to my whole childhood. There will never be another girl out there that knew me as well as her. And the same goes for her. that one time that she called, she said if she hadn't married me, she wasn't married. She knows that we are each others one and only, and I hate to sound cliche but I can't put it all in words. It's the feeling we both have. I'm ready to try again. She needs to know that.

Slap her with your D over her purdy mouf

[Kill You]

I'm telling you Hopsinshadie, you only think you found the one, but really there's like 1000 "ones" for everyone in the world. You could find a girl almost exactly like her if you'd get over her. It seems like she doesn't want anything to do with you, so let it go dude. You're blinding yourself to so much potential because you're stuck on this girl. Who knows, you could find a girl who is even better than your ex is. Just drop her, it's unhealthy and unwise.

It's not easy, especially if you love someone, I've cried for my ex many times wishing everything had worked out but sometimes you have to just let it all go.

[Hansen]

Blow kush in her face and grin

[Kill You]

Hopsinshadie I'm starting to think you invented this "ex" in your head.