Favorite lines on Marshall Mathers LP

[KoLyric]

That was funny wasn't it? (Yes) See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight, one of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced (No)
And while this is goin' on, his son just woke up and he walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut (Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note

[UofLCard]

"What if he's right? I'm just a criminal, making a living off of the world's misery"

"Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window
and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats"

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
How the fuck could you do this to me?"

[jinofthewind]

Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Looking for life on this planet sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me outta this place, I'm outta place
I'm in outer space, I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Dunno why I love this so much kinda shoes when goofy slim was good unlike... some albums with goofy slim

"Sick Sick dreams of picnic scenes two kids sixteen with M-16's and ten clips each and them shits reach through six kids each and Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets"

[Raul]

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
How the fuck could you do this to me?"

[DAngeloBailey]

KILL YOU: "I don't even believe in breathin', I'm leavin' air in your lungs just to hear you keep screamin' for me to seep it!!!!"
STAN: "Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance. I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans."
WHO KNEW: "Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts, make fun of gay clubs, men who wear makeup. Get aware, wake up. Get a sense of humor, quit tryna censor music, this is for your kids' amusement. But don't blame me when lil Eric jumps off of the terrace, you shoulda been watchin' him, apparently you ain't parents."
THE WAY I AM: "And I'm thankful for every fan that I get, but I can't take a shit in the bathroom without someone standing by it. No I won't sign your autograph, you can call me an asshole, I'm glad cuz..."
THE REAL SLIM SHADY: "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well I DO. So fuck him and fuck you too."
REMEMBER ME: "Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids sixteen, with M16's, and ten clips each, and them shits reach through six kids each and Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?! Fuck that!!"
IM BACK: "Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz, it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this. Sorry Puff but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her and have a son and a new brother at the same time and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?!"
MARSHALL MATHERS: "And I don't need help from D12, to beat up two females in makeup who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails. Slim Anus, you damn right slim anus, I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!!!"
DRUG BALLAD: "But when it's all said and done I'll be 40 before I know it with a 40 on the porch tellin' stories with a bottle of jack, two grandkids in my lap babysittin' for Hailie, while Hailie's out gettin' smashed."
AMITYVILLE: "That's the mentality here, that's the reality here. Did I just hear somebody say they want to challenge me here!? While I'm holdin' a pistol with this many calibers here!? Plus a registration that just made this shit valid this year!?"
BITCH PLEASE II: "So when you see me, dressin' up like a nerd on TV or heard the CD usin' the fag word so freely, it's just me bein' me, here want me to tone it down? Suck my fuckin' dick you faggot, you happy now?"
KIM: "You can't run from me Kim, it's just us, nobody else. You're only making this harder on yourself. Ha Ha! Got ya! Go ahead, yell! Here, I'll scream with you, Ah!!! Somebody help!!!!"
UNDER THE INFLUENCE: "Two pills I pop till my pupils swell up like two pennies, I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties, a young ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass so the rats can't chew through his last pants."
CRIMINAL: "Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it, so when I rob a bank - run out and just dive in it, so I'll be disguised in it, and if anybody identifies the guy in it I'll hide for five minutes. Come back, shoot the eyewitness, fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business. Die bitches, bastards, brats, pets!! this puppy's luck I didn't blast his ass yet. If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts, tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck. You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough to say the stuff I say so just tape it shut. Shit, half the shit I say I just make it up to make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass. And if it ain't a rapper that I make it as, Imma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask!!!!"


So many classic lines. And notice how none of these are screamed. None of them are spit rapid-fire. None of them are complicated word bending metaphors that take half an hour to figure out.
They are simple, direct, clever, and well thought out rhymes that are spit smoothly and cleanly.

There's a reason we remember these lines/verses so well and love them so much. They're not Em trying to have the most intricate rhymes and punch-lines possible and the best technical flow. They are 100% Eminem being himself. Funny, witty, vulgar, aggressive, observant...

I just hope he returns to THIS type of writing/rapping for MMLP2. That is my one wish for this album.

[Kill You]

Stick a gerbil in your ass, through a tube

Wait, wrong album.

[superman11]

God, that Criminal last verse is godly.

My favorite.

"Everytime I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime to tell em what's on my mind. I guess I'm a Criminal"

[mjwoods]

Hiding murder material in a cereal box on top of the stereo

[DanWS]

God, that Criminal last verse is godly.

My favorite.

"Everytime I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime to tell em what's on my mind. I guess I'm a Criminal"

Agreed, 3rd verse of Criminal is one of the best on the album (often overlooked too).

If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough
To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut!
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask!

[Snakebeast]

So many classic lines. And notice how none of these are screamed.

Are you deaf?

None of them are spit rapid-fire. None of them are complicated word bending metaphors that take half an hour to figure out.
They are simple, direct, clever, and well thought out rhymes that are spit smoothly and cleanly.

Because Survival isn't simple, direct, and clever. It also doesn't have well thought out rhymes spit smoothly and cleanly.

There's a reason we remember these lines/verses so well and love them so much. They're not Em trying to have the most intricate rhymes and punch-lines possible and the best technical flow. They are 100% Eminem being himself. Funny, witty, vulgar, aggressive, observant...

Quit fucking acting like Em didn't go over every single verse with a fine toothed comb, making sure everything sounded perfect. He had some great and funny punchlines on MMLP too.

[Shuttle Destroyer]

See this finger, upside down?
Here, let my turn this muthafucker up right now

Let me give you muthafuckers some help
Here, XXL, XXL, now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Oh, fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

[Shuttle Destroyer]

I agree with you, StayWideAwake

[bingo bongo]

Great post, SWA

[Raul]

I agree with you, StayWideAwake

[xNero]

SOOO LOOOONG, BITCH YOU DID ME SOOO WROOOONG

Also, good idea, StayWideAwake.