The First Eminem verse started and I was listening hard thinking "Please say something incredible" but it just didn't come. Sure, his verses were appreciable... as in, way, WAY better than a lot of the stuff he's done in the past (Think the-reup, some of Encore, some of relapse and some of recovery) but like EminemBase elaborated on, this was on The fucking Marshall Mathers LP 2. The feeling of dread had arisen inside of me because it was at that moment that I realized with ~95% certainty that not only would this album NOT live up to the original MMLP standard (which no one was expecting anyways) but also, it would be what I feared. A disappointment. Placed in contrast beside his magnum opus, his masterpiece in the minds of an entire generation of hardcore Eminem fans that haven't left his side since then even after being let down more than once... Eminem fans that probably felt similar to the way I'm about to describe (and if you don't, then whatever. To each his own subjective opinion.) Not to mention an entire new generation of listeners that latched on to the Eminem craze during the Recovery era... only to potentially be blown away and shocked IF this album lived up to what us older fans dreamed of. Sure, they can go and re-listen to MMLP in 2010+ or so but they weren't there. As in, being fortunate enough to witness that album's release and the reactions amongst common society as a result of it's cause... The Marshall Mathers LP was an experience.
So I wanted to delve into my own beliefs in regards to WHY it is that the quality and success of this album was/is so important to people like us that have been there watching... waiting since the first one. This may present itself as common sense, but I hadn't verbalized it and put it together in my mind before so perhaps the rest of you haven't either.
First I would like to say that the initial feelings along the lines of "Fuck... Berzerk, Survival, Rap God and The Monster? Even if every other song on the album is PERFECT this won't be close enough to MMLP1 with those songs on it to warrant satisfaction." Face it, none of us were truly expecting this to top MMLP... I think a lot of the more sensible fans wanted it to be ALMOST AS GOOD as MMLP or anywhere REMOTELY close to what the jaw dropping artistic trivium provided for the world around the turn of the millenium... but after these songs, you guys, like myself (and don't deny it... a LOT of you must have felt this way) felt that with those 4 songs on the album, it would not be good ENOUGH. I would just like to say that when considering how the album is put together, EVERY ONE OF THESE SONGS HELP to make this album as perfect as it possibly could be with very little wiggle space in regards to "Well... it COULD have been better." I think a lot of you know what I mean. Has your appreciation for "Berzerk" not doubled or tripled now that you know that the album is brilliant... fucking incredible... a masterpiece? Does the transition into "Survival" from "So much better" not sound incredible now that we've witnessed how it was all laid out on the album and that we've seen it all collectively, in its' entirety?
I think it does.
I think the reason we initially discarded those songs was because we were actually scared. This brings me to my main topic of this post. Also, I apologize for maintaining only a loose ability to stick with the exact points I want to make without going all over the place. I will explain that later as well.
I think for those fans that have been with Em since the first MMLP... which is, most definitely, a lot of you guys here. I know I haven't been here long but in reality, I have. I've been coming here since the "I'm having a relapse" freestyle premiered almost daily. A lot of the most common names around here... they are the types of fans I am talking about that I believe stand beside me in regards to the mindset I'm going to try and find the proper words to verbalize here.
We have, over the years, directly connected our own unique, subjective human experience to Eminem's career. How can I word this here... fuck, it's tougher than I've thought. I'm sure you guys have been doing some mundane task before and began daydreaming about the songs from SSLP being heard by x person in x situation for the first time... then going through MMLP with your internal voices while pretending you'd never heard it and imagined how amazing it was hearing it after SSLP. Then the same with TES. I made a long post in this forum one time about something I'd never seen anyone else bring up... but about how when we listen to new Eminem music, a lot of the amazement comes from subconsciously placing it beside EVERYTHING ELSE he's ALREADY done. As in, say, with "Halies Song." When I heard that I was blown away but only because it was the same guy that wrote the MMLP 2 years prior. The same ultra-unique, angry self-portrayed degenerate that refused to compromise in regards to his wicked lyrics to ANY sort of degree for an entire album before this one.
This made "Halies Song" a masterpiece for me.
Listening to the Marshall Mathers LP or the Slim Shady LP while knowing what comes AFTER it makes me appreciate each CD/style so much more. It's viewing his career COLLECTIVELY that makes each new installment INCREDIBLE to us (obviously alongside liking the songs themselves... but I believe this is why we've allowed ourselves to LOVE stuff like relapse and recovery at the times of their release even though we KNOW that in comparison to his prime-trio they were both disappointments.
Get what I'm saying? Maybe I'll dig up that old post I made and post it underneath here because I put a lot of work into it and I WANT YOU GUYS TO FUCKING READ IT AND THINK I'M SMART GOD DAMNIT. lol... sorry for going all over the place, but I think you'll find that each point I made is thought-provoking and for the most of you, accurate.
So MMLP2 gets released and we all get worried. All four of the songs that were released before the leak pointed towards the let down we were all worried... no, SCARED of happening because like I said, for fans of a certain magnitude, the quality found in a new Eminem album is more than music. It's a giant part of their lives and their (our) emotions are intertwined BIGTIME with what we're hearing. You could say this applies for any artist and his hardcore fans... but I think with Eminem and his fans this concept receives an amplification that may transcend the degree in which this phenomena has occurred with other music fans throughout history based on a lot of the reasons we listen to Em (and it's not for the sake of hearing nice "music"... it's what I said about associating his career with our own lives whether we have been conscious of it or not.)
I remember EminemBase basically creating a replication of my own thoughts through his fingers in his post concerning "The Monster" upon its release... it was something along the lines of;
"Abysmal... Wow, this is not an acceptable combo of pop & hip hop or anything like he claimed in Rap God about having a "Hella way to fuse it"... This is some straight up fucking Miley Cyrus shit on The Marshall FUCKING Mathers LP 2. The dude has lost his mind. I can't believe this.
Fuck you Em"
See that "Fuck you Em" at the end? This is a fan that is a perfect example of the types of fans I'm describing alongside myself that can be found on this site. The ones that what I'm saying (I believe) applies to. He's not just disappointed that he's not going to get (he thinks) some enjoyable music to listen to soon... This was something bigger than that for him. Something that actually affected and corresponded with his life in some way and upon hearing the Monster, he was probably legit emotionally affected in a negative manner hence the anger. I think this is a perfect representation of how a lot of us felt.
Now, I wanted to make this post yesterday morning but I didn't get around to it. Granted, it would have been much shorter and probably started here. Keep in mind, when I thought of this I had NO IDEA or even suspicions that MMLP2 would actually deliver and not just in the "Yeah, this shit is awesome!" while genuinely believing it but at the same time being really disappointed like with relapse and recovery. I am a fan of both of those albums for the reasons I explained above... I think that after putting out what he put out in the past, the skill level it would take to make albums of the same quality would keep increasing as he becomes older, grows further away from the time when the microscope was on him and the world was going nuts about him... and most importantly, after he's already said practically ALL of the best stuff that you could say in songs when placed in his position.
When I heard the full album yesterday... It struck a fucking nerve. It was like... a final feeling of ultimate satisfaction that I can not find the words to describe sufficiently so I will leave my description as vague and cliche sounding as that is... but he fucking did it.
What he did on this album was what has kept us listening to him for all of these years (the last ten years!) even when he repeatedly disappointed us (with incredible stuff.) In the back of all of our minds... we have been craving THIS for ten years. We don't care so much about having nice music to listen to... We care about Eminem's career personally and every time we find out a new album is coming... something deep inside us lights up and I truly do believe it is a deep hope that although we know it is very unlikely if even possible... We might get to hear something on the caliber of the MMLP again. Not just "prime Em" although that applies to an extent too... just not as specifically (I'm talking the Eminem show and 8 mile. and I know this may not apply to everyone but bear with me.)
I think deep down... when we found out "Relapse" was dropping, subconsciously we were hoping he would find a way to give us what only he is capable of. Something that provokes the feelings of the MMLP. Since that seemed impossible, even hoping for The Eminem Show style and him pulling off an equally good album (or close enough to it to make us go wild) has come up in our minds... but deep down, for ten years, we have all been waiting... Waiting for October 30th, 2013. The day when he fucking did it again. We never knew if he would or could and we accepted that... because honestly, relapse AND recovery are fucking awesome when you consider what he had to work with after doing everything he's already done... but this... this is an Eminem fan's dream come true. This is IT. This is the reason we have gotten excited whenever a new Eminem song is coming out. We're wondering if he will one day give us what he just gave us... and HE FUCKING DID IT.
Let that sink in... EMINEM GAVE US ANOTHER MMLP AND HE FUCKING PULLED IT OFF. I TRULY and genuinely believe that subconsciously, this is what we have all been waiting for for the past decade. You may think "Duhhh" but I'm talking specifically.
I truly don't believe that my post is simply a result of the hype that comes after an album leaks... usually, that hype is full of happy feels combined with an unfortunate combination of denial disappointment. Again, not to say that ANY Eminem albums are actually bad. I believe that Encore, Relapse and Recovery are AMAZING albums... but not even considering their faults... they weren't what we were looking for. I think this is what a lot of us have been looking for EVEN IF we haven't been consciously aware of it.
(Also, I know that this doesn't apply to everybody. There are always going to be exceptions when it comes to appreciating an artist's work but I think since it probably applies for ~95% of hardcore Eminem fans +... it's more of an objective thing than subjective.)
There is something else I want to get into that will show you guys why to me, the success of this album is even MORE important than what I just explained... and it's personal & emotional. It will take me a while to write out but I think you guys will enjoy the read. My head is a bit foggy right now and I can't think/write/communicate at my full potential due to being prescribed benzos long term without being told about the HORRIFIC aftermath this causes by my doctor and having never abused them. Now, sadly I'm watching as I lose my ability to think... to function... and it lasts so damned long. At the same time, I'm trying to get off of opiates. I used to be an amazing writer... just all round extremely smart and I'm losing it because of benzos and opiates. That's a hint in regards to why the post I was just mentioning that I would make in the future about this album being even more personal for me. Each of the albums since Eminem's comeback has kind of been a representation of how someone CAN recover and grow back to be as sharp as they once were after long term benzo use. I'm going to do EVERYTHING I CAN to save my own life and get out of this nightmare... and then recover from benzos and opiates. I feel like I've watched Eminem slowly regain his mind back but he definitely did it in the end.
This is another reason why when I heard the monster, I felt sick to my stomach after reading EminemBase saying "Dude's lost his mind." It was very personal to me.
I know my writing is very scattered due to the head fog I'm in but to anyone that took the time to read what I had to say here, thank you. I do believe that although unorganized, there is a lot of stuff worth reading in most of my posts.
Fuck yeah guys... This is it. He did it.
