Phantom-If I Died Tonight

[classthe_king]

That's good, you should always keep motivation

[ThomasAguanis]

I may be a few days late, but I downloaded this when I saw the topic and have been listening to it ever since. The verse is great, there's not too much wrong with it. Lyrics and flow were both pretty tight on this. You remind me of Sonny Sandoval of P.O.D. on this. This sounds like something he would do, especially the way the hook sounds. The only thing I don't like is that the hook went on about twice as long as it should have. A second verse (and third?) would have helped, but after reading your comments, I understand why there wasn't one.

In regards to giving you advice on writing more than one verse, I'd have to expand on what chambers said. If you know what you want to say on a track, don't cram it all into one verse. Try expanding on certain ideas and see how it comes together. I think you'll find that a lot more will come to you that's relevant to the subject of the song when you try this. You'll think of things you usually wouldn't, probably since you'll be taking more time to think about the subject/theme of the song. It should help you progress creatively I think too.

Also, I think this song could be expanded. I see that chambers wants to do a verse, but would you let anyone else do a verse too? This could possibly be a great song to get a bunch of artists on and have an extended version or something. Personally, I'd love to drop a verse on this if possible.

Again, great song here.

[Phantom]

thanks thomas i appreciate that, and the only reason i repeated the hook was because i didnt have a 2nd verse to drop on it. thanks for your advice i truly appreciate it man. and its funny cus thats the 2nd comparison ive gotten to the lead singer of pod. i like them so there is an influence but i only know a few songs by them

[NicoleEM]

Damn this sounds good.I listened to some of ur songs and for now i like this one,Gimme a sign,Confession,I'm down,New verse,You don't know and still listening .The guys are right,you need to make them longer.Great beats,keep it up

[ElChico]

im gunna go ahead and ask. "if i die tonight would you love me or wonder why we just cant fly. and if i was about to die would you hold me or tell me to just win the fight." what the fuck does that even mean lol.

[Phantom]

thanks nicole. chico, it may seem like nonsense but it really means something i wasnt just writing bullshit lol. its just about basically would anyone appreciate what i do when i died or if i stopped doin music n stuff like that. and if i was about to die would you love me or tell me just to end the fight.