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Trimss - Anne

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Trimss - Anne

Postby Trimss » Jun 28th, '11, 18:31

So I tried something but I don't think i'm still good enough.



I'm collecting this piece of rhymes
to help you to find peace in your time,
and behind these lines, there's something I hide
something deeper than my feelings, yeah i lied
when I told you i don't care about your sights,
i'm sorry but i'm fed up of people tellin' me what i should write,
And i'm at the point i'm even fed up to win against the demons i could fight,
You prolly think, yeah i knew right the dude is big now, his fans
aren't anything to his eyes,
but i'm grown now and this wise makes me despise the man i was,
and the surprise is a sour prize, lost all my friends
the happy man is just a disguise,
And the more i drown in my lies, the more my low insights rise
And if time flies, i walk and i might be too late for the final gong
And by the time i spit this, you understood that this ain't a professional song,



In this one there's almost if no 0 multis.. But i learnt how to use them. I'll show it in another text. I just did that to try my voice on the beat so i want y'all to be critical without just saying : Stop rapping. lmao. I also don't know how to mix the vocals, I got an usb mic that a friend lent me.

English isn't my first language as you noticed in when i spell the "l" or the "r" mainly lmao, my accent is trash.

Thanks!

All advices are accepted.

http://hulkshare.com/lxu9eshi7b4j

Previous works:

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=112081&p=1598418&hilit=trimss#p1598418
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=109408&p=1545631&hilit=trimss#p1545631

Feedback : viewtopic.php?f=38&t=117585
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=117355
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Re: Trimss - Anne

Postby classthe_king » Jun 28th, '11, 21:17

This was an alright track...you really need to work on your flow though. You were slurring your words together a ton and it sounded really sloppy. All the pauses and dragging out of the ends of words didn't help it much either. The quality was ehhh but if you want me to mix any of your tracks pm me.
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Re: Trimss - Anne

Postby Trimss » Jun 28th, '11, 22:45

Thanks Class :y:

I'll try to improve that for my next track. And yeah i just noticed it, the pauses were pointless.

classthe_king wrote:he quality was ehhh but if you want me to mix any of your tracks pm me.


And thanks for that too.
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Re: Trimss - Anne

Postby °[~CHR!$~]° » Jun 30th, '11, 11:21

flow definitly doesnt fit the beat...you keep missin the snare as soon you try to go faster...
keep it simple at first....you get there once you did enuff simple flows...get me?
and i also noticed your overlays were pretty horrible...no hate...try to turn them down by maybe
-1.5dB - -3.2dB...and also try to place them right..i know i was lazy on that back then..but its a MUST makes the verse better...and maybe its just me..but when you record overlays...try to spit them a nanosecond before you hear the rhymes on your headphones...cuz i dont know..i have a usb mic aswell..and maybe its the time the mic needs to convert the recordings...or the distance my words actually hit the mic lol..idk but it works lmao...other than that...yeah your pronouncation isnt the best..since as i remember you are not from an english speakin country (am i right?)

edit: as for the flow again.. i recommend using a regular amount of syllables..count them...start with 4-7syllables per bar...once you got that locked thhen you can go 10-13syllables etc etc...but for my liking anything over 13/14 syllables (aka double time rapping) sounds stupid to me
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Re: Trimss - Anne

Postby Trimss » Jul 1st, '11, 12:31

^ Thanks for the feed, yeah I'll try and do better next time. I'll try to be more "on beat" and yeah the overlays were just put like that, i wanted to remove them but guess i forgot.

°[~CHR!$~]° wrote:yeah your pronouncation isnt the best..since as i remember you are not from an english speakin country (am i right?)


Yep, this is right.
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