My 4 First Audio Song [I Need Feedback]

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

look man, you hardly ever ( i dont think iv ever seen you ) give feed on tracks, then post 4....dont expect feed man

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

^ well it aint goni happen, coz the members who are active in this section wont go out there way, if you want feed you go out your way...thats the way it works

[stevethetruth]

lyrics sounded dope but delivery could use some work keep at it man

[ThomasAguanis]

Bar has a point. If you want feed you should leave other people feed so you can expect them to return the favor


things you do:
umm you show no emotion or you voice is really boring..can't tell which. certain words sound weird when you pronounce them so you should work on that. Flow was lacking kinda too but I'm only listening to half of it

if you insist:
hmm no reason to "bring that back".
again no emotion and lacking flow. well flows kinda there but its not too good. you kinda sing at points too which isn't good at all. you drag out rhymes too like the words. honeeeeesssty fulllly.. *goes to next song*

I thought I told you:
another eminem beat...
you need to project your voice more and show emotion more. you also need to work on your flow and pronunciation. your lyrics seem alright though. the flow on this is all over then i just heard a laser beam. weird.
the chorus wasn't even on the chorus part of the beat.

call it an introduction:
oh god another eminem beat.
you're voice is too low on the beat and really sound weird rhyming the motivation part. lyrics are alright but its just one word rhyme with big words. station hating information constipation ect. all you're rhyming is "ition" which makes it get boring. if you were making multis out of the words it'd be a lot more interesting/easier to listen too. theres that lazer beam noise again trying to actas a gun shot and when you fade the beat out you put a wind effect or somehting on it which wasn't necessary..i didn't like it

overall:
you need to work on pronunciation, flow, projecting your voice more, mixing, and emotion...basically everything. But keep it up man, you'll get better if you want to. Oh, and find new beats