Runner Up- Vettori (snippit)

[Vettori]

http://www.zshare.net/audio/27079300a19811/

Summin i did real quick, i found out the crackling was from my shitty comp so ima get a new one, but this is my new mic and shit, just figurin things out....Ill show some pics of it soon too...But till then just tell me what yu think of this, if yu guys like it ill finish it if not ill start all over again with summin new

[Vettori]

Lyrics ----

Gettin trapped in my mind My This hurts
Second class Runner up For two long Im burnt
Sumthins up too quiet In the shadows I lurk
covers shut Better run Cause I'm gone bazurk
Reach for the handle But my Hand is stuck
Walkin Bomb With my walkman on
Battery low Talkin too much, Better reload
Jump in the truck, Mind so Blotched
Rushed by the crowds gettin bigger I'm Lost
pass by Throwin up so sick of the Fog
Planned on invenstin but its Pissin me off, Kickin it soft
Twist my nuts till shes rippin em off
Coffin slammed shut This mind state Im so Shocked
Bitch couldnt wait Cocked jaw she Got socked
Faught back Smacked That while akon watched
Back to the couch As i put it on fox
The story of a What Forget it seems i forgot

[Vettori]

If you can leave feed it'd be greatly appreciated...thx

[Tash8]

first lol man you can wait alil longer than 40 min before u get feed

second your vocals needs to be louder in my opinion

and third, your monotone in this one, ur not changing ur pitch or anything makes the song kinda boring

you had a nice flow, lyrics were decent, delivery was okay but the monotone thing was bad... other than keep it up

[Vettori]

Lol as youll learn im impatient, But thanks, Any feed is good feed to me, I needed to know that...I'm still workin on Altering my voice a bit, But when it comes to a faster rap style, it's hard to put emotion into it....I'm mainly focusing on not fucking it up lol.....this is just like my 8th time recording so yea still pickin up on shit...Thx tho

[Tash8]

yup i get that, i noticed the fast rap, it's just say each word with each emotion, atleast that's how i try.. like if your saying "fuck everyone" you'd say that in a angry voice, if your saying "death's coming" you'd problably say that in a lighter voice..

[Vettori]

Lol, I know exactly how to do it, It's just ive been doin it this way for a while its hard to break outta the habit, as well whenever i start recording i get stiff, Im just loosnin up now, Just need some more time....Ill get it down pat

[Tash8]

^ cool, up it when u do that, cuz i'd like to hear that

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

love the beat....
and yea the voice protection isnt that good....*points at himself*

but the flow is very good....get the full version done