JBM - This Rap Game

[JBM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZsxS_WlQas

Started this a long time ago and finally got round to finishing it.

Feed:
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=100487&p=1380005#p1380005

[Emadyville]

The concept of this was nice, and you executed it fairly well. Only problems were your flow and pronounciation, you tried to pronounce things different to rhyme/flow, but it just ended up making it flow worse I felt, this was shown mostly in the hook. The lyrics were real good, very relatable to myself and I'm sure many other artists on here. The delivery was pretty decent, your voice was good as usual. Overall, I'd keep working on this till you get that flow pretty flawless, cause this would be a sick/replayable track if you were to get that shit done better

[JBM]

The concept of this was nice, and you executed it fairly well. Only problems were your flow and pronounciation, you tried to pronounce things different to rhyme/flow, but it just ended up making it flow worse I felt, this was shown mostly in the hook.

And in the second verse right?

Thanks for the feed.

[preest]

Yeah man, this track could be a real nice track! the concept of it is great, everyone on this part of the forum can relate to it cos we all make music! I feel like the rhyming could have been just a little better and your flow was off in places, just sounded like you were trying to make bars fit the beat that didnt!! Although it sounds like I'm hating on this, dont think I am! I enjoyed listening to it and wanted to hear what the next line was gonna say. the track sounds sick, just maybe a little touching up and it'll be a winner as I said bro I aint hating just a little constructive criticism, keep working on your art!

[ilovebender.com]

lol sicc