Eedee - "Different"

[Eedee]

LoF

YouTube Link
Mixtape DL Link

*A concept track from my recent mixtape. I think this would serve well a "single"?

[Verse 1] (:10)
His parents were devout, a pair of fundementalists,
He couldn't watch that scary movie even though he rented it.
He went up to his room and he cried just for the benefit
Of the doubt he never got and now this humiliation's killing him.
It's bottled up inside and he wishes he could just explode,
It's like he's lost up on this Earth and the truth would help get him home.
But then he moans... the tears begin to touch his cheeks,
His older brother hasn't talked to him in six fucking weeks.
Since he confided in him, he thought he could trust the dude,
"I'll tell you something that's eating me, bro, but it's up to you
Your beliefs are strong but you're my brother so I hope you know
This" but then he told him the secret, it was a broken code.
His brother wasn't slow to go and shove him out his fucking room,
He knew he should've waited to tell him, it was much too soon.
He was headed for the table but he came upon the corner; stopped,
He heard his brother tell his parents and all their forks were dropped.

[Chorus] (:53)
There's no sense being mean to people cuz they're different,
Sitting on the fence, seeing green from nature's wish list.
They're different... he's different...
We're somewhat different, motherfucker, do you get this? (x2)

[Verse 2] (1:15)
A human being ridiculed, so he turned to human fleeing,
Away from this reality of prejudice he's used to seeing.
He's sick of all this ruthless beating with useless dreaming,
The fruitless screaming freezes him like these putrid seasons.
That go by all around him as he shakes from cold and hunger pains,
He's homeless and it hurts his head that holds his troubled brain.
When his parents heard his secret, he was hated, he was thrown out,
With nowhere to go or stay the sidewalk is his home now.
With no sound in the alleyway, he falls asleep on freezing ground,
He thinks of how they keep him down, his torn heart is beating loud.
A teenager with no hope. No home. And no road,
A smile creeps up on his face he knows he's grown to go home.
He shuffles through a trashbin and finds what he's been asking for
A rope for him to end his life, because the guy can take no more.
He tossed it up around the limb, scared to death, his face numb,
The joggers found him with a note that said: "This is your gay son".

[Chorus] (1:59)
There's no sense being mean to people cuz they're different,
Sitting on the fence, seeing green from nature's wish list.
They're different... he's different...
We're somewhat different, motherfucker, do you get this? (x2)

[Verse 3] (2:20)
Even though they're to blame, his family mourned his death,
They didn't give a shit when he walked and warned he left.
They condemned him for something he could not control,
With bitterness and sorrow he opted out and offed his soul.
When they brought him home, ashes filled the solid urn,
Classes still had fall returns but now it was the coffin's turn.
To be filled to the brim with nothing just as he had been,
No one asked for his opinion he could not plead the fifth.
About all of his friends didn't see the groundball,
His life had a short stop, his difference was his downfall.
Even as he hears his fate his parents still have tears today,
He used to have a fearless name and now he's gone to clear the pain.
But here's his shame. When that rope was being tied,
He thought of life as dead with the hope as seeing eye
to eye with the sky, the horizon sunk beneath his brow,
He can't help who he is, and that's the reason he is now -

[TripleNineThree]

I got some homework to do before I head to bed so I don't have time to leave real detailed feed but this is my favorite track by you. You did a great job at painting a picture with your lyrics.. honestly I loved this track. I'm hoping to hear more like this from you!

Here is a more detailed feedback -

Lyrics - The lyrics were sick. Best part of this. It's not that there are crazy multis (are though there are some nice ones) but the way that you tell a story through this song is awesome. I really loved that - 9/10

Delivery - Your delivery was good on this track. I could hear the emotion in it, definately better than your "Shrink" track where I could tell you were trying to be quiet. - 8/10

Flow - Your flow is good on this track. I think I heard one part that the flow was off beat but nothing too big at all so it was good! - 7.5/10

Mixing - The mixing was decent. I feel that the lyrics could have been mixed with the instrumental a little better. Maybe a different EQ to match the beat, that's just me. Also, the mixing on the chorus could be better, it sounds very amateurish. - 7/10

Overall - This was a solid track, my favorite by you. - 8/10

[Eedee]

I got some homework to do before I head to bed so I don't have time to leave real detailed feed but this is my favorite track by you. You did a great job at painting a picture with your lyrics.. honestly I loved this track. I'm hoping to hear more like this from you!

Thanks man. I appreciate the good looks. I do have some more concept tracks written and ready to record, actually.

Have you heard Undertow? That's also a concept track.

[mdemaz]

I already fed this, but I'll say it again.

It felt like you should of used more urban lyrical themes like hood life and the city instead of social issues.

But, fuck it.
It still sounds pretty good to me regardless.

I gotta say, Smokey Memories is a classic.

[Eedee]

I already fed this, but I'll say it again.

It felt like you should of used more urban lyrical themes like hood life and the city instead of social issues.

But, fuck it.
It still sounds pretty good to me regardless.

I gotta say, Smokey Memories is a classic.

This was more a concept/story-telling track and I loved the beat to it. I thought it went incredibly well together. I appreciate your input though.

[mdemaz]

I was just saying, maybe it could of sounded better if this track had the different lyrics instead of these.
It's still a brilliantly crafted track regardless.

There's no other way I can describe what I'm feeling.

[B.A.D.]

Well this was wonderful in many aspects, the writing, the flow, the concept. There's really no feedback I can give on that aspect, just sometimes write focusing on how you will rap your words because I noticed you had to punch in several times and that kind of ruins the feeling a bit.

The mixing could use some tweaking probably, its good and clean but not very powerful, and takes away some of the emotion as your vocals are way too dry, try to boost up some low frequencies and play with more reverb settings.

And last thing, You gotta put more emotion in your delivery, your voice is very plain and needs something else to be rather different from other people. You need to find something in your delivery and rapping style that can really pull someone in. You are just rapping and focusing too much on lyrics and craft without actually focusing on the music itself.

overall, awesome track, love the message and the lyrics are great!!

keep it coming young fella

[classthe_king]

Never heard you before so here is my opinion

Your quality is pretty good, although is sounds a little empty which I think is coming from the reverb in the room. I would try and fix that up but it's not necessary.

Your flow is good, but it could be better. It's good in the sense that you don't fall off beat but it also doesn't sound completely natural. The best flows seem to grow out of the beat and coexist with it. Yours is just a good flow placed overtop of the beat if that makes sense.

Delivery- This is my biggest problem. No offense at all, because I know as a white rapper how hard it is to have a good delivery and I often get told my delivery is bad but I didn't like how you sounded at all. I can't really describe why, you just kind of sounded like a joke and I couldn't take you serious. How old are you?

Chorus- Didn't like the chorus much either. The flow was weird and the ad-libs seemed off and conflicted with the vocals a bit. The vocals are also a little low and can be heard to hear.

Lyrics- The lyrics are great, you have a pretty good knack for lyrics and storytelling and this song has a great concept. Just develop all the other aspects of rap.

[Eedee]

@ BAD Thanks man, I appreciate the listen and feed. I'll pretty much respond to both of you down below.

@Class Hey man, glad you finally checked my music. To your points, I wholeheartedly agree. The quality could be better, because I recorded this in an empty bedroom at my friend's house haha. It was right before college so I wanted to pump out some songs. Anywho... in hindsight, this was a bad decision. From now on, I'm going to record in my brother's professional studio (Dead To Me was recorded in there, check the quality on that...?).

Yeah, I do have a generic flow. I reallllly need to get creative in my future pieces and mesh with the beat. I agree with you there, man.

My delivery can be better. As I mentioned before, in future recording sessions I'll really put myself behind what I'm saying, even though I felt like I did before, I'll try even harder haha. And I'm 18, by the way.

Chorus... yeah. I could've done better. I really rushed this song now that I think about it. At the time I just wanted to get it done. Oof, I'm retarded!

Thanks for the good looks on the lyrics! I will definitely keep it up in the lyric department and amp it up in all others! I hope my future songs will get some solid praise from you.

[classthe_king]

I definitely feel you about just wanting to get a song done. That's the source of so many errors in my songs. What college do you go to?

[Eedee]

I definitely feel you about just wanting to get a song done. That's the source of so many errors in my songs. What college do you go to?

Uni of Alaska Fairbanks.

I can't record in my dorm room because people complain of noise... bitches. But this December I'll have a month to record in my brother's professional studio so I plan on getting a mixtape done then. I already have about 5 songs written, ready to lay vocals on the beats. Hopefully they come out well. I'll perfect each one over the month I have. It's enough time. Feel free to check any of my other work, maybe DL my mixtape, the thread is still on this AS page I think. Thanks for the looks, dude. Keep up your music as well. I really enjoy it.

[classthe_king]

I definitely feel you about just wanting to get a song done. That's the source of so many errors in my songs. What college do you go to?

Uni of Alaska Fairbanks.

I can't record in my dorm room because people complain of noise... bitches. But this December I'll have a month to record in my brother's professional studio so I plan on getting a mixtape done then. I already have about 5 songs written, ready to lay vocals on the beats. Hopefully they come out well. I'll perfect each one over the month I have. It's enough time. Feel free to check any of my other work, maybe DL my mixtape, the thread is still on this AS page I think. Thanks for the looks, dude. Keep up your music as well. I really enjoy it.

Thanks man and yeah I will check out your music.

I'm in the exact same position as you recording wise. I live in a suite with 11 other people so can't really ever record. I'm also trying to get an EP done over the month I'll have for winter break and try and distribute it around campus once we come back. You ever want to collab hit me up

[Eedee]

Hell yeah man, we should collab. I wouldn't be able to record until December (possibly before if I can hitch a ride back home to my brother's studio) but yeah, we could start thinking of song ideas and write our verses and whatnot. That would be pretty sick.

[classthe_king]

Well if you have any ideas pm me (y)

[Eedee]

Well if you have any ideas pm me (y)

Will do. I'll start looking for beats as well. I know Rise just put out some beats that might be good.