sample (new song) Mpyre

[M-Pyre]

sup peeps

this is my new shit...
beat, made by..me
lyrics, wrote by ..me
raps, rapped by ..me
recordings, recorded by..me

anyways, here's the link:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/8057720b317e0a/

constructive feedback is highly appreciated

and if anyone needs feedback on there shit, just ask me

[M-Pyre]

thnks man, here are the lyrics, note that this might not be in the final product!

On the wrong side of the law, when the law comes by/
Cause the dog will bite, when you toss a fight/
Wanna get lost tonight, then come on and write/
Something, awesome, nice, cross them lines/
Cause I’ll crush ya spine, like a monster right? /
And I’ll conquer thy subconscious mind/
In a cough and a rhyme, as I fought the tide/
And just walked all fine, like a thug in a wide/
Baggy pants, with a nasty glance, just ask me when/
These Emcee’s bin, last seen, huh, test me, kid/
You pesky kids, get ass kicked quick, especially this/
Little rascal here, *****wanna be gay sins/
Otta be patient, brother be patient/
Momma be hasty, but lately, I got to be paid B/

more feed plz

[Xray]

love the flow man juss need better quality and DOPE!!

[akuza]

your voice is very low and music is to loud so it is not very good

[M-Pyre]

Nice lyrics man...and great beat...I killed the headache with vodka

when you gonna put a album out?

thnks man

and about the album, I am planning one, and this one will be on there, only better and fully!
but still there is allot of writing and producing to do.

everyone else, thnk you for your feedback, more plz

[Jay-19]

I liked this alot! Your flow is great, and I love some of the lines! But yeh, the beat isn't my personal favorite. Other than that, it's really good!

[M-Pyre]

^ good looking man.

more food plz

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

this whole section has turned into the ass licking studio's i swear man, no one gives honest feed no more


beat sucks badly, terrible sounds, terrible mixing, not mastered and the strucute is messy, there too much goin on for it to be enjoyable you got to work on that part and make simple beats then get into more varied ones

your lyrics are simple, your rhyme structure is Run DMC era, old school is one thing but jeez end of line rhyming with the overlays on the last word of every line, its far to old and its been over used for about 20 years now.

your flow again is so run dmc old school style that for todays standard it sucks and makes it sound repetetive and boring, energy was there though and delivery seemed good.

get better beats, make your flow more exiting and switch up your rhyme structure.

[M-Pyre]

this whole section has turned into the ass licking studio's i swear man, no one gives honest feed no more


beat sucks badly, terrible sounds, terrible mixing, not mastered and the strucute is messy, there too much goin on for it to be enjoyable you got to work on that part and make simple beats then get into more varied ones

your lyrics are simple, your rhyme structure is Run DMC era, old school is one thing but jeez end of line rhyming with the overlays on the last word of every line, its far to old and its been over used for about 20 years now.

your flow again is so run dmc old school style that for todays standard it sucks and makes it sound repetetive and boring, energy was there though and delivery seemed good.

get better beats, make your flow more exiting and switch up your rhyme structure.

thnks for the honest feedback man

all though, the beat thing of mixing it down and mastering it, is way overrated (for real), cause when I'm just letting a random person hear it, they "damn that shit is fire"...quote

and for the run dmc part (the old school thing) this was really the first time I had wrote something on the beat, usually I write something with no beat what so ever!...so maby this is because it was my first time

and for the rest keep the feed coming

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

this whole section has turned into the ass licking studio's i swear man, no one gives honest feed no more


beat sucks badly, terrible sounds, terrible mixing, not mastered and the strucute is messy, there too much goin on for it to be enjoyable you got to work on that part and make simple beats then get into more varied ones

your lyrics are simple, your rhyme structure is Run DMC era, old school is one thing but jeez end of line rhyming with the overlays on the last word of every line, its far to old and its been over used for about 20 years now.

your flow again is so run dmc old school style that for todays standard it sucks and makes it sound repetetive and boring, energy was there though and delivery seemed good.

get better beats, make your flow more exiting and switch up your rhyme structure.

thnks for the honest feedback man

all though, the beat thing of mixing it down and mastering it, is way overrated (for real), cause when I'm just letting a random person hear it, they "damn that shit is fire"...quote

and for the run dmc part (the old school thing) this was really the first time I had wrote something on the beat, usually I write something with no beat what so ever!...so maby this is because it was my first time

and for the rest keep the feed coming

mixing and mastering is essential so a smooth sounding song man, if it was overrates people wouldnt be getting payed multiple grand a day to mix songs, and other people wouldnt be getting payed in the region of £10,000 for mixing albums

and thats kool, practice writing to beats more and again get some beats from soundclick there better produced and will make it eiser to write, and i aint hating man sorry it sounded harsh but people need to know were they are going wrong to get better

[M-Pyre]

this whole section has turned into the ass licking studio's i swear man, no one gives honest feed no more


beat sucks badly, terrible sounds, terrible mixing, not mastered and the strucute is messy, there too much goin on for it to be enjoyable you got to work on that part and make simple beats then get into more varied ones

your lyrics are simple, your rhyme structure is Run DMC era, old school is one thing but jeez end of line rhyming with the overlays on the last word of every line, its far to old and its been over used for about 20 years now.

your flow again is so run dmc old school style that for todays standard it sucks and makes it sound repetetive and boring, energy was there though and delivery seemed good.

get better beats, make your flow more exiting and switch up your rhyme structure.

thnks for the honest feedback man

all though, the beat thing of mixing it down and mastering it, is way overrated (for real), cause when I'm just letting a random person hear it, they "damn that shit is fire"...quote

and for the run dmc part (the old school thing) this was really the first time I had wrote something on the beat, usually I write something with no beat what so ever!...so maby this is because it was my first time

and for the rest keep the feed coming

mixing and mastering is essential so a smooth sounding song man, if it was overrates people wouldnt be getting payed multiple grand a day to mix songs, and other people wouldnt be getting payed in the region of £10,000 for mixing albums

and thats kool, practice writing to beats more and again get some beats from soundclick there better produced and will make it eiser to write, and i aint hating man sorry it sounded harsh but people need to know were they are going wrong to get better

if you pay that much money doesn't make it any less overrated, but basically, you're right, in the end, I want it to sound pure and crispy to

and thnks for the advice, gonna do that, in the meantime keep the feed coming people

[DelinQuent]

i don't mean to offend, just to be honest, as bar said, beat choice was terrible. your flow was wayyyyyy to old school. that woulda been hot in the 80's. i wasnt feeling the lyrics either. don't listen to people when they tell you that you're lyrics are too simple cause it today's world skills do not sell. a hot song comes from hot delivery and solid rhymes, not extremely complex rhyme schemes and metaphors out the ass.

just keep doing your thing but try to sound more modern, try with a more modern sounding beat. and try to get more multis thrown in there.

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

i don't mean to offend, just to be honest, as bar said, beat choice was terrible. your flow was wayyyyyy to old school. that woulda been hot in the 80's. i wasnt feeling the lyrics either. don't listen to people when they tell you that you're lyrics are too simple cause it today's world skills do not sell. a hot song comes from hot delivery and solid rhymes, not extremely complex rhyme schemes and metaphors out the ass.

just keep doing your thing but try to sound more modern, try with a more modern sounding beat. and try to get more multis thrown in there.

well you ignore the lyrics if your tryna sell out and become the next gay ass rapper to make it in the industry, but whatever, tell people to ignore complex lyrics and fill the rap game with more dumb rhyming fuckers than it already has thats kool

[Speech]

i don't mean to offend, just to be honest, as bar said, beat choice was terrible. your flow was wayyyyyy to old school. that woulda been hot in the 80's. i wasnt feeling the lyrics either. don't listen to people when they tell you that you're lyrics are too simple cause it today's world skills do not sell. a hot song comes from hot delivery and solid rhymes, not extremely complex rhyme schemes and metaphors out the ass.

just keep doing your thing but try to sound more modern, try with a more modern sounding beat. and try to get more multis thrown in there.

agreeing with everything he said...keep it up tho Mpyre..there is worse out there

[M-Pyre]

people, like I said, this is the first time I had written a verse on a beat!

the lyrics that I write normally is a lot more complex and has allot more multi's (all though this did have multi's) and more metha's/wordplay/punches/ anything.

and I like the beat, and allot of other people to, I guess it's a matter of taste.

and no, I will NOT become, and be some dumb ass rapper trying to make it with catchy tones, I hate those suns a bitches!!

btw I have only bin making beats for 4 moths now, using fl studio and cool edit 2.1 for recording and mixen/mastering ....the last 2 parts I have not done yet but I have just seen a tutorial on mixing and mastering, so from here on end, I'm a start doing that to.

but thnks for all the feedback that I'm getting (it's a lot more then what I usually get on other forms)

but keep the feed coming