Bar - Justice(produced by slantize)

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

Check out the myspace for the sake of it http://www.myspace.com/barthewar




Bar - Justice (produced by shadowville's producer slantize)
http://www.zshare.net/audio/11054792cc4698c9/

from the Mixtape S.K.R.E.A.M to be released sometime in the future.


not a final mix, needs properly mixed, and second verse may need re-done, also a ft. might jump on it.


just posting it for some feedback

lyrics:

Verse 1
jump in your body and controll your dome
as i walk you up and down i am your back bone
plant some vicous schemes like wishless dreams
sleep without a night mare becomes quite rare
me i dont fight fare like tyson in the holyfeilds
come at you with satan all you got is some holy sheilds
put my music on when your gutting your house
when you 2 tracks in and you'll be cutting your spouse
i bring out the voilence in all these tryrents
i'm hells high prince put you in five splints
chop you up and tell your wife here, try mince
im capital punishment a catapult the nourishment
n spat of guilt n flourishment and then i furnaced them
spat turn faced him laughed in his presence
you aint on my level go bath with the peasents
as i kill you in segmants

Chorus.
rip off the limbs then destory the brain
explode the heart and then break the spine
i dont call this a crime i call this justice
giving just deserts to the people i trusted(x2)

verse 2
i could impersonate in my persona state
of a person late that i incapacatate
you into lasting mate, coz i could finish
you you know below, the equator aint no greater
debator thats how low i push the hater
i condem and stop them the wanting props men
hoping for a top ten fellign like everyone conned them
when we ignored there record and went aboard in accord
then i showed you my sword and bewstowed you my lord
with the flow of my word now we go in a hoard
to vanquish the enemy i planned this you hearing me,
its my motherfucking D-day,
now imma show you how the fuck we play

[B.A.D.]

first thing I gotta say is lyrics are top of what many people here n anywhere can do, thats some real writing, and the hook's lyrics are some unique shit... excelent job on that... the mixin could be a bit better, ur verse sound to bassy, and maybe you could hard limit just a bit, just my thought on that, not str8 sure... the beat fits your style 100%, good choice, slantize is good. about the flow, hmm every track you do gots a diferent flow lol, how u do that???, this one in particular not the best, maybe a little forced, but still u managed to make it suitable and nice... also: loving the dark feel on this tracks, u got a couple great punchlines there "when we ignored there record and went aboard in accord
then i showed you my sword and bewstowed you my lord"... sick sick line man, good work... the accent showed up big time on this one lol.. but thats what makes u bar... also the hook feelin is amazin, u a genious for rappin hooks haha... well I enjoyed this track a lot and can't wait for your ep. overall 9/10... but I know u can do better...

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

first thing I gotta say is lyrics are top of what many people here n anywhere can do, thats some real writing, and the hook's lyrics are some unique shit... excelent job on that... the mixin could be a bit better, ur verse sound to bassy, and maybe you could hard limit just a bit, just my thought on that, not str8 sure... the beat fits your style 100%, good choice, slantize is good. about the flow, hmm every track you do gots a diferent flow lol, how u do that???, this one in particular not the best, maybe a little forced, but still u managed to make it suitable and nice... also: loving the dark feel on this tracks, u got a couple great punchlines there "when we ignored there record and went aboard in accord
then i showed you my sword and bewstowed you my lord"... sick sick line man, good work... the accent showed up big time on this one lol.. but thats what makes u bar... also the hook feelin is amazin, u a genious for rappin hooks haha... well I enjoyed this track a lot and can't wait for your ep. overall 9/10... but I know u can do better...

thanks alot man apreciate it about the flow i agree i havent found my own flow yet, everytime i get beats and write to them different structures come out and i flow differently i need to sort it out so i always have a constant flow it just isnt happening for me yet, ill keep practicing as i do everyday and hopefully ill get somewere with it soon. also the mixing sucks on this i didnt really do anything to it except boos it up a bit so it wanst to shallow lol, once i can be able to record and mix in pro tools ill be able to mix my own tracks coz i know that program lol and again appreciate the feedback alot man

[Kez]

What's the S.K.R.E.A.M stand for?

As for the track, beat's nice
Your delivery/lyrics are great
Maybe you should use layovers
Flow's great too
Concept is nice, a bit different from the normal type of stuff people do
And obviously your quality is fine
Hook works well, maybe you should of used two layers, normalized it or done something to make it stand out though.

But great track, shows a lot of improvement

[DelinQuent]

your lyrics are top notch. lots of solid rhyming. flow stays constant which is good. hook fits well with the subject of the song. delivery lacked some emotion, you sounded kinda bored, but it didn't ruin the song. i give it an 8/10 great job

beat is sick by the way lol

[Vettori]

FLows pretty good, You should wordplay ur synonyms more, I wasnt much a fan of the beat,Heard it before, It sorta brought the feeling down, Ive definatly heard better from you

[Emadyville]

Real good shit, I liked the beat, I thought it flowed well, levels were good, lyrics were tight, only thing like some others said, if you made the chorus stand out, but it definitely was a good track. 9/10

[Xray]

hmm not my type of song, beat was kinda weird, but flow was ok. lyrics were the best on the track. btw man wat happen to your old style? shit was much better than this one. bring back the old bar

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

i could say somthin about ur accent thing but i wont this time
bu lyrics are great man...flow suits very well....
acutally ax-d summed it pretty up.....
but as x-ray said..still feelin the old bar more *no homo way*

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

What's the S.K.R.E.A.M stand for?

As for the track, beat's nice
Your delivery/lyrics are great
Maybe you should use layovers
Flow's great too
Concept is nice, a bit different from the normal type of stuff people do
And obviously your quality is fine
Hook works well, maybe you should of used two layers, normalized it or done something to make it stand out though.

But great track, shows a lot of improvement

its a spin off of the famous wu tang track C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules everything Around Me)

so S.K.R.E.A.M Stands For Skills King Real Emcee's And Men , stupid name but it says what i want it to lol

and thanx for the feed man, i will be doin lay overs and stuff before the final track

your lyrics are top notch. lots of solid rhyming. flow stays constant which is good. hook fits well with the subject of the song. delivery lacked some emotion, you sounded kinda bored, but it didn't ruin the song. i give it an 8/10 great job

beat is sick by the way lol

thanx man, apreciate the feed, i might re-record it to fix the emotion

FLows pretty good, You should wordplay ur synonyms more, I wasnt much a fan of the beat,Heard it before, It sorta brought the feeling down, Ive definatly heard better from you

thanx man apreciate it but what you mean by worplay my synomyns

Real good shit, I liked the beat, I thought it flowed well, levels were good, lyrics were tight, only thing like some others said, if you made the chorus stand out, but it definitely was a good track. 9/10

thanx man appcreciate the feedback and yeh ill fix the hook

hmm not my type of song, beat was kinda weird, but flow was ok. lyrics were the best on the track. btw man wat happen to your old style? shit was much better than this one. bring back the old bar

lol thanx man apreciate you checking it out, the old bar is dead and wont be back lol, if i want to stay true to my heritage (sp?) i got to try get more of my accent and slang into my tracks and doin that brings them into this style of concept, i can still do the other type of concept i just aint been in that mind frame recently lol

i could say somthin about ur accent thing but i wont this time
bu lyrics are great man...flow suits very well....
acutally ax-d summed it pretty up.....
but as x-ray said..still feelin the old bar more *no homo way*

dam right you wont lol j/k apreciate the feedback man and about my old style read my reply to sajjad's post lol

[randomghost]

i'll download as soon as i go to the net cafe..coz i have dial up now

[SajN]

Nice track

As I said in Creative Writing, great lyrics in the first verse I won't repeat it, just check that section
The 2nd verse is also on top, it had good rhymes

As for the beat, it goes like this:

It fitted really good to this track and your voice, so that's good.

Keep it up

[Xray]

hmm not my type of song, beat was kinda weird, but flow was ok. lyrics were the best on the track. btw man wat happen to your old style? shit was much better than this one. bring back the old bar

lol thanx man apreciate you checking it out, the old bar is dead and wont be back lol, if i want to stay true to my heritage (sp?) i got to try get more of my accent and slang into my tracks and doin that brings them into this style of concept, i can still do the other type of concept i just aint been in that mind frame recently lol

yeah i meant like before your delivery was ill, now its just 50/50, what you need to do is mean what your saying when your recording. as if your speaking to someone you have to have the exact same tone but flowing it on beat. you do that than your all set and wont make a mistake again

[Tornado]

downloading....

[Big Proof 4ever]

lyrics is crazy(u cud be ghost writer for cashis )i remember i heard ur freestyle maybe 3-4months ago u were rappin so clearly but i guess it was old bar now things changed pretty hard to understand u,everything else