My Latest Verse

[-SiiNiDE-]

ok.. Few things i noticed:

- Before you get into ANYTHING else, you have to stay on beat. Try writing real simple at first (1 rhyme per line) that should help you stay on beat

- Second thing I noticed is that your cursing seems 'forced', by that i mean you're saying 'fucking' in like every other word.. You should switch it up and try to be more creative with your adjectives.

- After those two are done work on emotion. that's usually the last thing people get (including myself). emotion isnt just screaming int othe mic, though.. alot of people think you gotta put alotta bass in your voice to have emotion--not true.

[Cwayon_Murder]

Gahhh can you upload it somewhere else? Zshare likes to fuck with me

[Cwayon_Murder]

Looool what the fuck. Whenever you upload something ANYWHERE it gets fucked up. On Zshare it won't play at all and on RS it's sped up like X4. Gah, forget it then D:

[Cwayon_Murder]

Lol thanks.

I'm basically going to have to agree with everything siinide said. Staying on beat is something you have to work on. And yeah, it seems like you're trying too hard to show emotion by screaming into the mic, which changes your voice a lot. It sounds a little whiny at points. But keep working on it. It's your voice and you can't do much to change it, so make it work for you. Keep on practicing man

Uhh I'm not too good at giving feedback, but I asked for you to upload it somewhere else so I thought I was entitled to

[Purple23Haze]

All I can say is don't give up poeple want you to give up so they can pass you but do stick with it And I agree with what was said so don't reply on that note cause I know your working on it!

[Tornado]

yo Chet, already checked it on Myspace..thought flow was offa bit but the emotion is the main thing which i thinkin this song makes a difference...but keep goin homie.we in the same boat

[Emadyville]

I agree with sinide also, have to admit I read the posts before I listened, and when I did listen it was better than everyone made it sound. I think over time you will learn little things and how to change them for whatever aspect of a song, writing, flow, emotion, sound, beat, etc. So just keep at it and keep posting them.

[soperman005]

i thought it was flat out terrible. ur rap was completely off beat and the lyrics were garbage.

[B.A.D.]

k

gotta fix the flow here... for begining try the "hit the snare" shit...
also what helps is, memorize other rappers stuff and sing it all day, you'll get the flow flow through you sooner or later, get on a easier beat also

on the emotion aspect... you don't really have to scream, or add bass to your voice, or anything

simple as feel it going through you.. .feel the music, memorize your lines, close your eyes and drop

practice makes the master, so you keep at it bro

[DelinQuent]

yeah flow was off here. do what ax said and you should be good.

definately follow the "hit the snare" tip he gave. thats the key to becoming better in my opinion.

[SajN]

It'a aight.
The flow wasn't so good.. But no worry, you can fix it
As some other has said, no need to scream in the mic.. I've learned that
Keep It up man


Could you feed mine too? SajN - Northern Lights

[Darkblade44431]

STOP FUCKING SAYING FUCKING! you shouldn't cuss unless you feel it necessary, but like the first reply said, you're forcing it. I think u could use some more emotion in your voice, but idk, i might just have to get used to your voice. The lyrics weren't all that great. Keep at it man, i still look forward to the collab with you. lol, and i'm not trying to be an ass here, just trying to help.

[Speech]

cursing that much doesn sound right..don care why you cursed so much it doesn sound right and thatz it...flow was hmm...standard...could have been better...and the rhymes oh well the curing ruined it, and since you didn have any "woah" lines, nothing was straightened up...if you mixed at all, it's weird....emotions...well they were there just not fully...try a chilled out flow maybe it goes better with your style...if it doesn...fuck it try something new...cuz you can't keep it like that , no hate

you will find out the right thing tho if you keep workin

peace

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

file not found fucker

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

file not found fucker

Good

sorry here i was thinking you posted this for feedback lol