Kuniva Storytime on Twitter

[Amaranthine]

Is anyone following this story Kuniva's been telling for the last hour? Crazy stuff.

Should I tell a D12 tour story? We've been thu the craziest shit. I'll think I'll start with us almost getting merked by the Turkish Mafia. Was between the years of 03-04. Henny fucks up memories. Anyway, we were overseas in an undisclosed town in Ireland. The whole group minus Em. Heading to an after party to do a walkthrough. NO PERFORMING. BUT, Obie Trice IS. So we pull up to to the spot with Obie and crew. 1st thing we notice is that its on a dead end street. And the 2nd thing we notice is 3 white dudes beating the breaks off some black guy. We all do the "daaaam!" like Smokey off Friday. The beat these dude all the way out of eye sight down this dark alley. We head inside. We have to go around back and up a fire escape to get through the back door. While going up the stairs, a black dude comes rolling down! We separate and watch the fall. About 4white dudes follow. Proof says "looks like its whoop a nigga night. Get on point" we all stop joking. Walk inside the club and it's jumping. They cheer and all the other stuff and we're seated in the VIP area. Now we're chillin. Shaking hands, talking shit to each other and signing autographs. But there's mics set up. I notice it and just as I'm about to say something about it, BAM some nigga gets cracked over the head with a bottle on the dance floor! Guess the color of the people who did it? Right. 5 white dudes....So they beat this guy bloody on the floor. We do a head count and Proof and @dolosoprano are missing. Where they? On the dance floor...Proof is stand RIGHT in the middle of the fight. @dolosoprano is right next to him. No one touches them. The fight or BEATING goes outside. At this point 45minutes have passed. And we're edgy. The promoter who brought us there is begging for us not to go.Our manager says "we out". Obie's manager says the same. Shit is too crazy here. And it seems like its open season on negros that night. So we get up to bounce. My brother Big Sam, @dolosoprano and bizarre's cousin Big Boy lead the way. 3 huge ass security guards and Obie's security also. We get outside and hop in the trucks. The club owner comes out in a leather jacket screaming and hollering in some language. Now I can't speak Turkish, but I could tell dude wasn't a happy camper. He's arguing with the promoter who's also Turkish. Everyone is edgy. So the promoter comes over and says "u guys suppose to perform" our manager says "no. My guys got paid for a walk through" here we go...They go back and forth for like 5minutes. So while they argue @mrporter2012 is on the phone. The entire time! Has NO clue what's poppin lol. Our manager tells our driver to pull off. The driver does. And gets blocked off by a black sedan...on a one way street. Aww shit. We tell the driver to ram the nigga and go! The driver of the sedan jumps out and puts his hand in his coat pocket. Along wit 3 others. Our security is about to square off with theirs. The driver who blocked us off says. "If u guys pull off this man will be killed!" I look up out our window onto the roof of the buildings surrounding us and holler at "LOOK!" like in slow motion. The buildings have guns. Well, it's people with from what I can see, with M-16s or AK-47s pointing down! @mcvayd12 is looking shook as as usual...lol ok jk. Anyway
they have all these guns pointed down at us. Our driver takes the keys out and throws them on the ground outside the car. I'm like "fuck!" Our security is outside the cars. They say "leave! We'll start a brawl so y'all can get out of here!" club owner is yelling. Managers too, COMPLETE chaos! At any moment I'm expecting shots to go off. thru all this @mrporter2012 is STILL on the PHONE. Our manager runs up to us. He leans in our window and says "we better perform our we ain't leaving here" we all are talking and coming up with a plan now. Arguing! Thru all the arguing @mrporter2012 puts his phone to his chest. Oblivious to EVERYTHING! says "aye! Wtf is going on!? He's Irritated as fuck. We look at him crazy and put him up to speed as best and as fast as possible. We point to the niggas on the roof. He looks at us MAD. Now @mrporter2012 is always down for a scrap. And he doesn't really take any bullshit. And he has a defiant look in his eyes...he pauses. He shrugs like its nothing and says calmly..."alright cool....where are the mics at?" now at that time it wasn't funny. But looking back...All Runyon Ave shit is out the window! Lol then the club owner comes over and says its been a mix up and the promoter is responsible. He apologizes and says we can go. BUT the promoter must stay. Dam....*sigh* ....oh fuckin well! We out! The promoter gave us this look...Like all the color in his face left him. He looked like the leader of the gang who shot Cyrus on the movie The Warriors at the end. Surrounded like a muthafucka. They moved out our way and we sped the fuck off! You could hear him calling out for our manager. Smh poor guy. We get back to the hotel and Obie gets out behind is and says. "dam, I was supposed to perform" we said "nigga u almost got us killed! We screamed on oursnager [I think that is supposed to say 'at our manager'] for about 20mins and I said I'm going to my room to pray myself to sleep. One of those long ones. Thats all I have to say about that *Forrest Gump voice* ask any other group member and @dolosoprano true story. You was about to cry! " pull the fuck off! Leave without us!!!" lol shook! @Dolosoprano

http://twitter.com/#!/KunivaD12

[LIL_B]

damn thats 2 long bruh

[12characters]

Luther shot Cyrus at the beginning doe

[Stanforever]

[Amaranthine]

damn thats 2 long bruh

It's easier to read if you go to his page and read it a few sentences at a time. It's not really something I could split into paragraphs to make it easier to read, but I wanted to actually post what he said instead of just posting the link because in a few days it'll be waay down his timeline and hard to find.

[2PointOBoy]

Thats all I have to say about that *Forrest Gump voice*

[JUMPDMC]

crazy story, i ment some turkish mafians here in canada, one asked me tryout for their bball team in turkey.Had to turn him down tho,those fuckrs are cray-Z

[Amaranthine]

He says he's got another D12 story for tonight:

Tonight i have another #D12TourStory This one is a wild one. Stay tuned! Other members and security can back my stories 100%

http://twitter.com/#!/KunivaD12/status/ ... 1470851072

[12characters]

he better not fuck with the Warrior's timeline this time

[Amaranthine]

Tonight's story:

It was September the year Devils Night dropped and the whole group was in the UK. @eminem had just flew back home days before. A few days later we woke up to the 911 attacks all over the tv and we're in Paris. Scared than a bitch! Seemed like a bad dream. 1st thought, get back to the US! Now anyone who knows me knows I'm afraid of flying. I hate it! It's bullshit! Fuck a plane! *sigh* Anyway We all just was on the your bus crying like babies over Aaliyah who died in a plane crash a month before. Proof was especially hurt he had know her from her Detroit days and was in her video "Age Ain't Nuthin But A #" So we all are shook and ready to go home BC of 911 BUT, the airports are shut down. Everywhere. We're stuck. During that time we got a call from The Gorillas to do the "911" song with them. Funny bc while we recorded that song Proof went out to cop the new JayZ album The Blueprint. We all sat and listened to the whole thing...It was banging! So that's my memory of hearing that album. Everytime I hear it I think of being stranded and hype over JayZ's new music. Airports open back up. So we finally are set to go home after panicking for like a week. I'm happy but I forgot that we have to FLY home. Reality kicks in when we step on the jumbo jet. We're now looking at EVERYONE suspiciously and vice versa. We get our seats and we separate half of us upstairs the other half downstairs. we don't like the arrangements. Surprisingly neither does the passengers. They want us close. Theyre hoping that we can protect them just in case someone jumped stupid on the plane. Hey, it's a total of like 10 niggas Who look like they can handle themselves. This is before the pilots had the protected door and the lil bullshit curtains were still in place. So they ask some of us to come closer to the pilot. Except for @mcvayd12 bc he's fruity...jk! People give up their seats and we post up. The copilot comes out and thanks us and the other guys upstairs are watching out. D12. The security group. We get into the flight and I'm scared as fuck. I throw my headphones on a drift to sleep after about an hour or so. Then...I wake up. I've learned in the many flights I've taken, that turbulence is natural. Never worry about it. BUT what u have to learn is FACES...Of the stewardess that is. If they look afraid, time to say those prayers and reminisce about life. It's not good. And judging by the stewardess walking by us fast as hell and the "man tear" that she's ONE blink away from shedding...it's trouble! We stop her and say "whoa bitch! What's the problem?" ok I'm kidding. we ask what's wrong? She says they found a note at the departure gate, the one we left from. It said that a bomb was on OUR plane! No bullshit. We have to make an emergency landing. But stay calm. Wouldn't wanna alarm a jumbo jet full of people that they're on that highway to heaven. Or the bomb planter who might push the button. So now I'm just about dying inside. @mrporter is across the aisle and looking like he swallowed a baby seal in the face. We're fucked. Then the rest of the fellas come down and we chat real fast and everyone goes back to their seats. And then...they announce the fuckery Everyone on the plane gasps when they hear we must make an emergency landing. U hear sobs and prayers but surprisingly no one panics. My mistake...we were OVER halfway thru the flight. Yeah, fucked up right? Anyway I hear this loud thunder noise. I look out the window it's a jet fighter flying next to us...AND on the other side. Come to find out if we don't comply and land during a certain timeframe...Theyre gonna shoot us down before we get to a populated area. It's taking like forever to land, and then the planes fall back. But on an attack formation. The stewardess says the pilot is nervous. Now we look like we're about to be shot down. We look at each other I swear I knew I was about to die. I've never felt closer to god in my life. I pray. I pray for my sins and other things. I hear crying I hear screams. I don't remember too much I prayed for. The only part I'll always remember is that i asked that it doesn't hurt. I don't wanna feel it. Just let me not feel it. I had my eyes closed and waited to hear them shoot us down. I looked up and @mrporter2012 had tears in his eyes. He's the only person I remember seeing. I closed my eyes again & squeezed the armrest. It was like waiting on a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime with your eyes closed. Waiting for like forever got these bitches to strike. Then we start descending. And before I knew it we were landing at an air force base. I let out a hard ass sigh and they rush us off. My fault not a jumbo jet. A 747 we were on. Anyway, they quarantine us for questioning. The WHOLE plane. We're in Goose Bay Canada. Wtf!? We're all refugees now. Only like 12 phones for hundreds of passengers who are explaining to their families the horrible events. We on some phone check shit now. One member of the crew in each line. Whoever reaches the phone first EVERYONE is coming to that one. We tell our folks back home that we're government property and we'll be home whenever they finish flushing out the bomb and it's owner. We ask can we leave afterwards. They say the plane won't be ready until like a day and a half. Niggas on the floor sleep. Babies crying. It's bullshit. We ask if we get our own plane can we leave? The agents laugh and say yes. Like who are these niggas? We call Marshall...Marshall informs the label and a jet will be there in a few ours to get our black asses. We laugh at the agents while they look at us amazed. Then they drop a bomb on us. No pun intended. "NO jets allowed in our airspace. " u muthafuckas! Now we have to sit our asses down. So. We hoed ourselves. BUT everyone wants to know who we are now. We give up the dirt and now it's autograph time! Seriously?! An agent called his daughter and now there is a gathering outside the gates of the base. "D12! We love you!" "Kuniva ur the sexiest man ever!" Ok I'm lying about that. But fuck who thinks different. Anyway we wait for the next day and they let us board the 747 again. But we have to land in NY! Now landing in NY at that time was like landing on a land mine. But we said fuck it after all this shit. We fly to NY thru JFK and land. The plane explodes with applause! We step off the plane and Proof literally kisses the ground. We hop on our tour bus waiting for us BC we were done with that flying shit and wanted to drive the rest of the way. We stopped at a liquor store. I grabbed two packs of newport box and we all grabbed 40's and more 40's. Hey! We're from Detroit dammit! We put on some Frankie Beverly and Maze and had a big ass gig on the tour bus! Like a soul train line! Niggas celebrating like we're crazy. We gigged all the way back to Detroit! Niggas cried, laughed and bonded more than we had ever did. It was overwhelming but we made it. That's it....true story ask @dolosoprano @mcvayd12 @mrporter2012 any of them who were there. I'm out! Peace! By the way. The bomb threat was just that. A threat. They never found anything

[Trimss]

@Amaranthine, I read that one about the mafia. That was too damn funny

[Amaranthine]

@Amaranthine, I read that one about the mafia. That was too damn funny

I know! It was awesome. Tonight's was just scary.

The next #D12TourStory is about @eminem since he's been MIA in the last 2 stories. Tomorrow though. My hands r tired. "That's what she said"

http://twitter.com/#!/KunivaD12/statuse ... 2704990210

[2PointOBoy]

Tonight's story:

It was September the year Devils Night dropped and the whole group was in the UK. @eminem had just flew back home days before. A few days later we woke up to the 911 attacks all over the tv and we're in Paris. Scared than a bitch! Seemed like a bad dream. 1st thought, get back to the US! Now anyone who knows me knows I'm afraid of flying. I hate it! It's bullshit! Fuck a plane! *sigh* Anyway We all just was on the your bus crying like babies over Aaliyah who died in a plane crash a month before. Proof was especially hurt he had know her from her Detroit days and was in her video "Age Ain't Nuthin But A #" So we all are shook and ready to go home BC of 911 BUT, the airports are shut down. Everywhere. We're stuck. During that time we got a call from The Gorillas to do the "911" song with them. Funny bc while we recorded that song Proof went out to cop the new JayZ album The Blueprint. We all sat and listened to the whole thing...It was banging! So that's my memory of hearing that album. Everytime I hear it I think of being stranded and hype over JayZ's new music. Airports open back up. So we finally are set to go home after panicking for like a week. I'm happy but I forgot that we have to FLY home. Reality kicks in when we step on the jumbo jet. We're now looking at EVERYONE suspiciously and vice versa. We get our seats and we separate half of us upstairs the other half downstairs. we don't like the arrangements. Surprisingly neither does the passengers. They want us close. Theyre hoping that we can protect them just in case someone jumped stupid on the plane. Hey, it's a total of like 10 ***** Who look like they can handle themselves. This is before the pilots had the protected door and the lil bullshit curtains were still in place. So they ask some of us to come closer to the pilot. Except for @mcvayd12 bc he's fruity...jk! People give up their seats and we post up. The copilot comes out and thanks us and the other guys upstairs are watching out. D12. The security group. We get into the flight and I'm scared as fuck. I throw my headphones on a drift to sleep after about an hour or so. Then...I wake up. I've learned in the many flights I've taken, that turbulence is natural. Never worry about it. BUT what u have to learn is FACES...Of the stewardess that is. If they look afraid, time to say those prayers and reminisce about life. It's not good. And judging by the stewardess walking by us fast as hell and the "man tear" that she's ONE blink away from shedding...it's trouble! We stop her and say "whoa bitch! What's the problem?" ok I'm kidding. we ask what's wrong? She says they found a note at the departure gate, the one we left from. It said that a bomb was on OUR plane! No bullshit. We have to make an emergency landing. But stay calm. Wouldn't wanna alarm a jumbo jet full of people that they're on that highway to heaven. Or the bomb planter who might push the button. So now I'm just about dying inside. @mrporter is across the aisle and looking like he swallowed a baby seal in the face. We're fucked. Then the rest of the fellas come down and we chat real fast and everyone goes back to their seats. And then...they announce the fuckery Everyone on the plane gasps when they hear we must make an emergency landing. U hear sobs and prayers but surprisingly no one panics. My mistake...we were OVER halfway thru the flight. Yeah, fucked up right? Anyway I hear this loud thunder noise. I look out the window it's a jet fighter flying next to us...AND on the other side. Come to find out if we don't comply and land during a certain timeframe...Theyre gonna shoot us down before we get to a populated area. It's taking like forever to land, and then the planes fall back. But on an attack formation. The stewardess says the pilot is nervous. Now we look like we're about to be shot down. We look at each other I swear I knew I was about to die. I've never felt closer to god in my life. I pray. I pray for my sins and other things. I hear crying I hear screams. I don't remember too much I prayed for. The only part I'll always remember is that i asked that it doesn't hurt. I don't wanna feel it. Just let me not feel it. I had my eyes closed and waited to hear them shoot us down. I looked up and @mrporter2012 had tears in his eyes. He's the only person I remember seeing. I closed my eyes again & squeezed the armrest. It was like waiting on a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime with your eyes closed. Waiting for like forever got these bitches to strike. Then we start descending. And before I knew it we were landing at an air force base. I let out a hard ass sigh and they rush us off. My fault not a jumbo jet. A 747 we were on. Anyway, they quarantine us for questioning. The WHOLE plane. We're in Goose Bay Canada. Wtf!? We're all refugees now. Only like 12 phones for hundreds of passengers who are explaining to their families the horrible events. We on some phone check shit now. One member of the crew in each line. Whoever reaches the phone first EVERYONE is coming to that one. We tell our folks back home that we're government property and we'll be home whenever they finish flushing out the bomb and it's owner. We ask can we leave afterwards. They say the plane won't be ready until like a day and a half. ***** on the floor sleep. Babies crying. It's bullshit. We ask if we get our own plane can we leave? The agents laugh and say yes. Like who are these *****? We call Marshall...Marshall informs the label and a jet will be there in a few ours to get our black asses. We laugh at the agents while they look at us amazed. Then they drop a bomb on us. No pun intended. "NO jets allowed in our airspace. " u muthafuckas! Now we have to sit our asses down. So. We hoed ourselves. BUT everyone wants to know who we are now. We give up the dirt and now it's autograph time! Seriously?! An agent called his daughter and now there is a gathering outside the gates of the base. "D12! We love you!" "Kuniva ur the sexiest man ever!" Ok I'm lying about that. But fuck who thinks different. Anyway we wait for the next day and they let us board the 747 again. But we have to land in NY! Now landing in NY at that time was like landing on a land mine. But we said fuck it after all this shit. We fly to NY thru JFK and land. The plane explodes with applause! We step off the plane and Proof literally kisses the ground. We hop on our tour bus waiting for us BC we were done with that flying shit and wanted to drive the rest of the way. We stopped at a liquor store. I grabbed two packs of newport box and we all grabbed 40's and more 40's. Hey! We're from Detroit dammit! We put on some Frankie Beverly and Maze and had a big ass gig on the tour bus! Like a soul train line! ***** celebrating like we're crazy. We gigged all the way back to Detroit! ***** cried, laughed and bonded more than we had ever did. It was overwhelming but we made it. That's it....true story ask @dolosoprano @mcvayd12 @mrporter2012 any of them who were there. I'm out! Peace! By the way. The bomb threat was just that. A threat. They never found anything

[Amaranthine]

Tonight:

Ok I'll give a quick #D12TourStory BC I don't feel like typing all this shit. This is comedy, no drama. Anger Management Tour. Em had been going on with his "right hook speech" for like a few days straight. The speech consists of him talking about how his right hook is the most beautiful and deadliest thing on earth!. Just talking cash shit. Sometimes he's even stood on chairs to deliver the speech. Smh lol anyway this was getting tiresome and we began plotting. During this time Marshall was extra sensitive about the N-Sync and boy band thing. He hated being compared to that kind of product. He saw himself as an mc and NOT a person to be compared to boy bands bc of his appeal to the masses. So we knew that's a weak point. We decided to fuck with him. First thing we did was hit the store when we got to the hotel and grab a teen magazine. We find a magazine with N-Sync and we take it back to the hotel and began our plan. First we inform him that N-Sync is in the same hotel. Then we start the mission. Someone writes a note that to Em that says "if ur looking for a fight, come to room 234". Then we attach the pic of an N-Sync member to the note. We began talking shit to Em and even the tour manager is in on this shit. We put the pic of the one with the dreads tied up at the top of jos head or whatever he called those things. The pic looked SO soft though. Which made Em even MORE livid! now we began the taunting! "he's right downstairs dog! What,u shook!?" then it's the voices of reason..."Em it's not worth it. Ur bigger than that!" now he's torn but getting more hype. Finally he says "fuck it! Im going down there!" We all start walking with him. He's mad and talking shit! "I can't believe this muthafucka wrote this shit to me! I'm fuckin him up!" it's taking the whole tour staff and all of D12's will to NOT burst into laughter while we walk to the room for the "fight". Em gets to the door and knocks like a mad man. "boom! boom!" he's kicking the door! We're like "chill man!" but he's furious! Now we're hoping this doesn't go sideways but it's too late. We're here now. Someone behind the door says "dude! Who's that!?" Em says "open the fuckin door bitch! Let's fuckin GO!" then the door flies open! Em charges in an we charge behind him! And then...Proof jumps from out of nowhere from hiding in the room and tackles Em! Em doesn't realize that Proof has been in the room waiting for him. He doesn't even recognize it until Proof is screaming and laughing while Em has him in the air! "it's me Em!" Em pauses and looks up. Then we all burst out laughing like hell! He was mad as fuck bc he was in fight mode! Then he started laughing after about 10secs! Just one of the many pranks of #BigProof not as deep as the other 2 stories and I shortened it but it was a memorable one. Thats all

[JamaicanPattlez]

9/11 story is deadly as fuck, daaaaaaaamn...