2 Bizarre's Interviews

[yoshi]

Bizarre's joke of the week!

Bizarre is the big fella from D12 who wears a shower cap and likes a laugh (mainly about farts and breasts. Including his own).

He's got a new solo single coming out called 'Rock Star' that's produced by Eminem, his album is called 'Hannicap Circus' which he describes as "a 45 minute ride through my life." He hates the smell of liver.

Think that's bizarre? No, this is Bizarre, Detroit's fattest, most shower-cap wearing rapper and the man with the funnies. When we ran into him (and you're better off running into him than him running into you) we insisted on a pleasant chat and a telling of his favourite joke.

On your new single 'Rock Star' you claim to have once been a dancer for MC Hammer, is that true?
No.

Oh, well what about where you say you once spent two days in jail?
That was a lie too.

Not even two days? What kind of a hardcore rapper are you?
I just beat a case. I coulda went to jail but it wasn't me. It was mistaken identity.

You claim you can be found, "at the mall collecting girls drawers." How many have you got so far?
Uh, I don't even know man. I'll go home and count. Probably three. I'm just a beginner.

We all have to start somewhere. When did you first think, "I'm a rock star!"?
Probably when I came over here and I saw kids wearing shower caps to the shows. I was totally surprised. That's a good sign.

A good sign that your fans are a bit soft in the head, perhaps. Now, one of the Slashmusic staff fancies themselves as a fly MC but needs another rapper to beef with for publicity purposes. Could it be you and what would they need to say to get you riled?
Really nothing, man. Ha ha ha ha. I've heard it all before. I'm not a weak minded person. Nobody has a beef with me. I try and stay away from drama.

OK. Tell us a joke.
This is my favourite joke. There's this couple playing golf. He's trying to teach his wife how to swing and she busted this window out. And he says, "Oh man, we gotta go pay this guy - we broke his window." He went over there and found this man sitting on a couch butt-naked. They say, "Excuse me sir, we knocked your window out we'd like to pay you."

The guy says, "No need to pay me. When that ball came through the window it knocked the vase over and let me loose. I'm a Genie, I've been in that vase for the past 100 years! I'll grant you three wishes."

So the man says, "Okay, I would like a million dollars, genie," and the Genie says, "Okay, I'll make that happen. Now, what about your wife? What does she want?"

The wife says, "I want two houses in two different countries."

He says, "Okay, I'll make that happen. But the third wish I'd like to keep for myself. I haven't been with a woman for a long time. I want to have sex with your wife."

The guy says, "I don't know, Genie. Having sex with my wife? That's committing adultery."

His wife says, "I don't know baby, he's gonna give us all these wishes."

So he says, "Alright baby, I'll let you do it." So the genie takes his wife upstairs and has mad passionate sex with her for an hour. Then the genie says, "I have to ask you one question before I grant these wishes."

She says, "Sure genie, what's your question?"
He says, "How old is your husband?"
She says, "He's 37."
And the genie says, "Okay. And he still believes in genies?" That's my best joke!

Best stick to hip hop. Is there anything we don't know about Eminem?
He's a good basketball player.

Is that it? I think we preferred it when you told lies.
I feel sorry for him sometimes. It's hard not to be able to go outside.

It must be, especially if he wants to play basketball. What do you hope God will say when you get to heaven?
"You're a good fella."

Have you found these questions a bit bizarre, Bizarre?
Yeah, but I like different interviews. Most people normally ask the same things every time.

We're not most people.
You got that right.

[yoshi]

After years of talking about it, Bizarre is finally going to be about it. He has finally become the latest member of D12 to spread his wings.

And for all his fans, don

[Ove kr.]

Thanks for posting.
Hadn`t read the first interview before.