funniest eminem lines

[Ubb]

I've always liked this one, and the first time I heard that I had a good laugh.

She asked me to stop calling her a cunt
I said "I CUNT"

Cause I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck
And I was wavin' it at everybody screaming, "I suck (I SUCK!!!!)

[EminemBase]

"Newsflash: I'm still trash!"

"If I could only use this power for good, I wouldn't... not even if I could."

"I said shut-up when I'm talking to you... you hear me? Answer me!"

"I'll kick a bitch in the cunt 'til it makes a queef and sounds like a fucking whoopie coushin!"

"Now look ya little slut, cunt, whore"

"Like Ima sit and fight with you over some slut, bitch, cunt"

"When I go to hell and I'm getting ready to leave - I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe"

"I'm the old man who lives upstairs and starves his pets, that never leaves his house, 'cause he thinks his car's possessed"

"A premature birth that was four minutes late"

"Come on toots - gimmie the valium, alley-oop; I'm slam dunk it in your mouth 'til you puke; and just as soon as you pass out in your alphabet soup..."

"Got you locked in a cellar, with your skeleton showing - developing anorexia, while I'm standing next to ya - eating a full course meal"

"Dr. Kevorkian has arrived to perform an autopsy on you - while you scream "I'M STILL ALIVE"

"Stole your momma's accura; wrecked it and sold it back to her"

[Trimss]

"I hate my life, that's why I degrade my life
Grabbed a paper plate to make a sandwich..
and just ate the knife!"

"If Shady said it, Shady meant it
I'll throw a stroller at you..
With a baby in it!"

"As long as i'm on pills and I got plenty of pot
I'll be in a canoe paddlin'
makin' fun of your yacht"

[Suzanne.s]

there are so many, but the one I'm thinking about right now is:
"Hold that pill any longer it'll get sentimental value"

[HeySamantha]

I fucking lost it when I heard "I'll kick a bitch in the cunt 'til it makes a queef and sounds like a fucking whoopie coushin!" for the first time.

I like most of the stuff that should offend his female fans, tbh lol.

[geoff]

Im the butt police....FUCKING CLASSIC

[infinite2hts]

and im looking at your REAR REAR REAR. LMFAO am i the only one who cracks up everytime listening to it. Cuz i see it being hated a lot. Even in the media. smh.

[CrashBand]

"Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well, I do. So fuck him and fuck you too"

"Losin' battles to wack rappers cause I’m always too blunted
Walkin’ up in the cypher smokin’, talkin’ about “Who want it?”

- I can visualise that. A wasted Eminem, after getting his ass handed to him in an organised battle, talking shit and challenging some randoms who are just trying to cypher.

[Fleka]

My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue
witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch


So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her

[SliK]

Stick figure, with a dick bigger than mark whalberg

[Whitefox]

"What's up with you, you married? - Nah, Im divorced
Of course you are, you little, fucking, trailer park whore"

[infinite2hts]

Bitch i gotta dick, wanna fuck ?

[Whitefox]

Hold still, swallow this birth control pill, slut

[EminemBase]

I think he says "Newsflash: I'm still trashed", not "trash".

As in wasted, or gone off pills, etc.

Cuz he talks about that a lot in his verse.

Naaaaaaaaaaah, after re-checking it just now, am pretty positive he says 'trash', and makes more sense as 'still trash' / kilt, ass... I know he could and often does still just half-rhymed trashed and ass, but, if he said trashed - he then talks about being stronger...

He always calls himself trash, it's like an introductory comic line.

We may have to respectfully disagree homie.

If it is 'trash' as I reckon it is, that's fucking funny, I love that line.

[_Hawk_]

I think he says "Newsflash: I'm still trashed", not "trash".

As in wasted, or gone off pills, etc.

Cuz he talks about that a lot in his verse.

Naaaaaaaaaaah, after re-checking it just now, am pretty positive he says 'trash', and makes more sense as 'still trash' / kilt, ass... I know he could and often does still just half-rhymed trashed and ass, but, if he said trashed - he then talks about being stronger...

He always calls himself trash, it's like an introductory comic line.

We may have to respectfully disagree homie.

If it is 'trash' as I reckon it is, that's fucking funny, I love that line.

It is definitely trashed. It makes more sense, especially considering he goes on to talk about how his pills have made him stronger. Calling himself trash would be of-route in this regards.

Rap Genius agrees.