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Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

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Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Spyder » May 22nd, '11, 02:24

Venom
I'm the Zodiac Killer dropping an 8 on the 16th guess it's day old date rape
Now I could say I'ma put Master Chief in a box like a Halo game case
But i'd rather address this faggot begging for dictions attention
He made the top 5 out of sympathy & got an instant erection
Then diction called out this gay clown & he stayed up all night crying to Spacebound
You say you can relate to Eminem but that's a lie, we all know you're afraid now
Bitch i'll break your Halo CDs & make you play Gears of War at gunpoint
Delete all your Royce songs & make you call Lupe Fiasco your number 1 joint

Explanation for those who don't get it:
1 - Wordplay on dropping a 8 bar on the 16th which is when the rap is due. The Zodiac Killer relied on a calender to decide when to kill people, since this round has a due date i'm doing the same hence date rape as in calender date not romantic date. I called it day old because I wrote it only a day in advance so it's going to be read when it's a day old
2 - Rappers often make punchlines out of saying they'll put *opponents name here* in a box like *wordplay on opponents name here* . I say I could do it but I won't.
3 - Master Chief has quite the obsession with diction, made gay comments towards him & begged to be in his top 5 members list
4 - see line 3
5 - diction called him out for being obsessed & this made Master Chief very angry. He likes Spacebound alot so he cried while listening to it after diction broke his heart
6 - He said he relates to Eminem, Eminem has a song called Not Afraid (i'm sure you've heard of it) how can he relate to Eminem when he is in fact very afraid
7 - He often says Halo is better than Gears Of War
8 - His favorite rapper besides Eminem is Royce Da 5'9. he often argues with slimshadylappin & says Lupe Fiasco sucks.


Master Chief
Venom is a gimmick, pretending he's mentally demented
Check it, you have no guts and I'M here ripping up intestines
Wait... did I bite the style of Rhyme Asylum correctly?
This Viper can't Dodge me, Venom knows my saliva is deadly
I'm on fire, got it, V? always, claim you Diabolic, gee...
If R.A. saw what you write, they'd say you a Liar & A Thief
VBV, full of sadness and hating, that's a baggage of fake shit
Then again, maybe not... because his family hates him
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Spyder » May 22nd, '11, 02:29

(3) Punchlines - VBV(close)
(3) Personals - VBV
(2) Multies - VBV
(1) Flow - MC
(1) Structure - MC
(1) Vocab/Complex - NA
(1) Other - NA

8-2 VBV

not really good punches by either but VBV closed it with some alright ones, VBV good multies, though maybe next time try to use more uncommon words and increase complexity :y:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby VenomBlackViper » May 22nd, '11, 02:59

I didn't really go for punches in this one besides the Zodiac Killer & Not Afraid lines, I went more for personals. Either way interested in seeing how this turns out.
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Master Chief » May 22nd, '11, 03:12

I should've explained my punchlines.

Oh well...
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby VenomBlackViper » May 22nd, '11, 03:13

Master Chief wrote:I should've explained my punchlines.

Oh well...


I liked the Liar & A Thief punchline if it makes you feel any better :console:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Yah-hah » May 22nd, '11, 03:38

Id say venom got ot but I was diggin the dodge viper line that was dope liar and thief punch was cool too. Ive always liked hearin new put em in a box jokes
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby ThomasAguanis » May 22nd, '11, 05:03

(3) Punchlines- Master Chief- The Viper name flip was great, as was the Liar & A thief line. These are somewhat personal, but I'm classifying them more as punches.
(3) Personals- Venom- the Halo and diction references did it.
(2) Multies- Venom
(1) Flow- Master Chief- I felt his flowed more smoothly than Venom's.
(1) Structure- Master Chief- his was more consistent.
(1) Vocab/Complex- Venom- the Zodiac Killer line did it. That was very clever.
(1) Other- Assonance/Slant Rhymes- Tie- This is a hard thing to accomplish, but both verses had a few instances of this.

7-6 Venom

Venom- Great verse. I felt a bit of it didn't flow properly, but it was pretty smooth throughout. The first line was very cleverly worked out. I also liked the "put Master Chief in a box" line a lot too. Your personals were on point as well. I was impressed that you gave the illusion of certain things rhyming when they technically didn't. This is a hard thing to do, I know first hand. I also think your breakdown was way too long, but that didn't take away from the verse. You seem to have a grasp of all skills required in a battle, but may have to step your game up a little in future rounds. Keep doing your thing. :y:

Master Chief- Great verse. This battle was extremely close. If you had a few more multis worked in, I think you would have taken this battle. Your punches/personals were dope and the Viper/RA/Diabolic references were extremely clever. You also had a few instances of making things rhyme that technically didn't (I just don't want to call it assonance) and that is very impressive. You're lack of a break down didn't take away from your verse. I thought everything was pretty obvious (unless I missed something?). You also seem to have a grasp of all skills required in a battle. Keep doing your thing. :y:
B.K.A. The King of Kale A.K.A. The Superfood Sensai
I still rap better than you.

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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby VenomBlackViper » May 22nd, '11, 05:10

Yah-hah wrote:Id say venom got ot but I was diggin the dodge viper line that was dope liar and thief punch was cool too. Ive always liked hearin new put em in a box jokes

Steven used a similar punchline before.

"The only time I Dodge Viper is if I bought a Chrysler"


ThomasAguanis wrote:Venom- Great verse. I felt a bit of it didn't flow properly, but it was pretty smooth throughout. The first line was very cleverly worked out. I also liked the "put Master Chief in a box" line a lot too. Your personals were on point as well. I was impressed that you gave the illusion of certain things rhyming when they technically didn't. This is a hard thing to do, I know first hand. I also think your breakdown was way too long, but that didn't take away from the verse. You seem to have a grasp of all skills required in a battle, but may have to step your game up a little in future rounds. Keep doing your thing. :y:


Technically this is my first actual rap battle. I've fucked around having bullshit drunk freestyle battles with friends before & written battle lines towards people before but this was the first time I actually battled. I agree that the breakdown was pretty fucking long, not sure why I explained it to that much detail like preschoolers were judging it but i'll keep it shorter next time.

And thanks to both of you guys Yah Hah & TA. :b:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Master Chief » May 22nd, '11, 05:14

I'm sad that you guys missed one punchline. Which wasn't that clever to begin with but the poor line went unnoticed :(

Congratulation to Venom. It must feel great to have enough money to bribe Spyder.

:shifty:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby VenomBlackViper » May 22nd, '11, 05:22

The price was surprisingly low :shifty:

Congrats though MC good battle brah :b:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby 12characters » May 22nd, '11, 05:25

VenomBlackViper wrote:The price was surprisingly low :shifty:

Congrats though MC good battle brah :b:


Shit, I would've did it for a dollar if I was still a judge :shifty:
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby VenomBlackViper » May 22nd, '11, 05:33

I liked that Zodiac Killer line so I decided to use it in a actual verse as a written

Like the Zodiac Killer with a sex drive I commit date rape
Fuck watching monkeys in a barrel I prefer a planet of great apes.
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Re: Venom vs Master Chief(tourny battle 8)

Postby Spyder » May 23rd, '11, 01:10

2-0 VBV
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