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Trimms
"I'm gonna make a cover and post it on a board!"
be clever, shut the fuck up when you're bored,
2/5 You should have worded it a bit better coz' first line doesn't link that good with the second.
For example :
Advice for those who make a cover and post it on a board,
Find yourself a lover instead of showing crap of that sort,(Lol it's just a wack example)
I mean either your going "I'm gonna way" or "You'r gonna way". You just mixed objects here and made it a bit too simple even for me.
how does it feel to wake up and still be a nerd,
I'm high like gravity while you're down to earth,
2/5 Here you got some logical problem - if you'r like gravity you should be down to earth too. I guess you meant that you'r like "non-gravity".
Get back in the dirt, you don't own your fate
Mahmoud 48, i'm for you the one you hate,
2/5 Weak punch, you should have spoken sth about his fate ownage in the second line.
youtuber-s said "You're great"
when you posted that forever hit shit,
spittin' half of the words Em did,
was crackin' myself and I even slipped,
from my chair, from where i use to sit,
you raped that song, you abused it.
2.5/15 In the first 2 lines you were speaking about the cover, then you attempted some other punches, then you came back to the cover and it took you 6 lines for just 1 "recycled" punch.
8.5/30 First steps are always hard
I know i was strict writing this but i wanted to post you mistakes so you can eliminate them in the future. Still this was your first battle, don't give up.
Mahmoud 48
Trims i step on u like timbs
i rhyme circles around u like rims
i know u feel tense dismember ur arms and limbs
3/7.5 Kind of weak as for a 3 liner
like biggie and pun u need to go to the gym
minus the skill cuz u aint no slim
3.5/5 This was better
shady so maybe u can stop going crazy over a win
i smash ur head on a violin and
i still make beautiful music with the strings
4/7.5 Decent
i know my punchline stings like a syringe,needle,
my rhymes are so hot i put it out with diesel
2/5 Meh again it seems like your rhyming for the sake of rhyming
why are u running away like a weasel
Im Brutus and ur Julius Caesar, so goodbye hope u liked this preview
1.5/5 Pretty messed up ending
14/30 You should make sure the lines rhyme ( I had same problem like first 2 battles before i realized it and Wreckless Music told me this too)
Vote - Mahmoud 48
