by Doodlebug » Jul 17th, '12, 15:39
Nope what it tossed up to me was not correct.
When I was young, I had a pretty tough spirit but I admired Mother Teresa, and wanted to be a Nun. I am a good person at heart, best intentions, but part of me is wild, untamed and I've always stood up to bullies and anyone picking on smaller ones, even if I had to take on a group - to do what was right.
I felt my nature was not right for what I wanted to do, and I have this natural aggression I can't seem to... calm. But it's not a bad thing, and so I was confused and talked to my Granny about it - she told me that I should think of myself as a warrior angel, that protects the weaker ones that do not have the same nature I do.
Even when I play online games, I stand between the pkers and the smaller ones that just totally suck at pvp and want to have fun, play the game and really are totally helpless.
I not only get into verbal fights but physical ones in the game - but no matter how many they throw at me, I won't stop fighting them - because it's the right thing to do and it's what I will do.
Even at work, at home - this has been my life to date.
I think in my past life, I was a female warrior, and this life I was blessed with five daughters, to teach and make strong like me (but thank goodness they are not aggressive like me).
I am a kind person, but like that old saying - don't mistake my kindness for weakness... that basically describes me. I'm used to walking alone because most can be bought or bribed or are just fricking wishy washey and surry to the winning side when they are threatened or give up.
I read the Art of War, which has alot of lifes lessons for us - and I am who I am, and feel I have always been this way.
I remember when I was young, I desperately wanted to be one of those dainty, frail, pale girls.. that all men loved.. but nope.. I"m the dark haired, dark eyed, olive skinned girl that can kick your butt but .. also pick you up and say 'good fight'.
>> call me Deb...
We are the children of pain.... educated by hurt..." - Deb