I INVITE YOU

[AspirinE]

I'll only join if I can molest a few little boys along the way to this crusade.

U have to be of sufficient rank to access the 1st class quire boys in privacy.

[joelle]

damnit.
In that case I'll require a couple hundred dollars and a saint named after me.

[Kojack]

I'll only join if I can molest a few little boys along the way to this crusade.

U have to be of sufficient rank to access the 1st class quire boys in privacy.

My prophet!!! My prophet!!! Great news from ur Communo-Scientologic Crusade. You took over Russia already. For how can you start a global domination if you dont win over your own people. Right?

Now, your army, led by your courageous follower and general Cojack, set up his positions here, on atop of a hill.



The heathen enemy is Russia. Forgot the past Communistic glory and fallen into the hands of old Czars and Boyars. Still, a formidable force. The Russian rebel force advance from the plains.



Your army, equipped with cannons, quickly opens fire against the Czaric army, but with no actually effect. Too bad.



Russian boyars and streltsy advance under your cannon fire, with no fear.



Your army on the other hand, keeps tight on the top of the hill. Knights and champions of Communo-scientology are ready to spill enemy blood, or die trying.



Russia quickly advances and charges against your disciplined ranks. Foolish. Cuz the outcome is not what the Boyars expect.



Soon, the enemy army, battered and bleeding are forced into defensive mode, with your loyal knights pushing through them.



After a brief fight, your army leaves nothing but dead enemies behind his path.



A heroic act from your soldiers cut down the retreating Czar bodyguard unit and captures him. Victory is yours.




The conquest of Russia is over my liege. Your options are three. 1) Invade Poland and Germany and let joelle molest their kids (yoshi will be mad tho). 2) Invade Hungary and afterwards Bulgaria, Albania and Greece (expect heavy resistance from Coccoa). 3) Go east and take over Turkey and Iraq (Sinemm will hate you).

And yeah...so much time and so few things to do.

[C-Game]

[Kojack]

But why C-Game?

[AspirinE]

God Pseudo is pleased, he is pleased with by the offering of infidel blood. Let the cleansing stop not, for it is important that we leave only but those with faith.

Take as much as u can, Establish churches, bring the word of God to non-believers by sword. Convert them by threatening them with prospect of death and eternal hell-fire, those who choose to convert must fight.

Invade Poland, and Germany, relocate the the population, don't cleanse. Latvia, Bulgaria, and the other village-fascist countries to be burnt to the ground. Germany and Poland must be taken, the vast area must me used as means to attack the rest of europe.

[Kojack]

Aye!!! Our Crusading force will take over Poland and Germany....will post battle in a minute.

In the mean time.

ATTROCITIES IN UKRAINE, POLAND AND BELARUS
Infidelism must be crushed. New churches have been raised, while the non-believers have been either executed or tortured. Thousands of infidels find refuge in the lands of Poland and Hungary. Our armies march through Poland, looting and destroying. The decadent Polish army surrenders without battle and we capture princess Nina "Yoshi" Zmijewska. Now onto Germany. We will deal with Hungary later.

[C-Game]

is this pre/post Scientology???

[Kojack]

Post. Tommy is a loyal follower. Truly pious.

[Kojack]

A Defeat....the most bitter defeat.

My lord, it appears Germany is far stronger than the rest of Europe.

Our armies got caught up by the winter. We reached the German borded by mid December. Penetrated their borderline and kept going. Their first castle appeared in the horizon.



Vast and proud. Our army's cannons attacked the front gate, hoping to penetrate the barricaded gates.



The castle is NOT unprotected. A large force of German ritten and zwei hander garrison the castle.



However, our cannons do excellent work on their fortifications. Leaving few things standing.



Russian militia (loyal to our divine) and Boyars who converted, follow us, drawing streltsy and cannons alongside.



Russian militia cannon attack the side of the castle.



We invaded the castle charging the Deutchen force with steel and fire. They will pay miserably for their Drang Nach Osten.



However things do not come as expected. German heavy infantry resist the cavalry charge and inflict heavy casualties on our finest horsemen and knights.



Unbelievable. The Russian army do not move to enter the battle, even after our cavalry's massacre. Can't trust lords and princes i guess.



The German prince watched from the top of its castle how his soldiers massacre our army. We might have taken the gates, but they cut us down at the square of the castle, where we face being encircled.



Russian artillery flees the battle.



So do the survivors of the plateau fight. Our army is routing, with no chance of regrouping.



The Russian lords prefere to just slip around the German castle and flee back to Poland, rather than show respect to their allegiance and assist us in our noblde fight. They should know better. We will deal with them when we get back to Moscow.



At the end, the Germans stand victorious and their castle stronger than ever. Perhaps we should avoid fighting Germans until we get allies and soldiers from the rest of Europe. Germany defeated us and put us into defensive mode. Our army is defeated.

[Kojack]

Orders my, liege, we are loosing

[James R.]

what game is that?

[Kojack]

Medieval II total war

[James R.]

*checks bank account*

I might have to make a bit of an investment

[Kojack]

You wanna fight against ASP's forces in M2TW?