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First CW Drop

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First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 01:22

Critique? :sweating:

I send in vile acoclytes,
attack it right, then sacrifice
I pack it right, attack
till the back is sliced, a packaged knife
is latched to my back of ice
the maggots diced, when I clack it right
do you even understand, nigga, gun triggas,
will split ya, with bar liquor,
flows vary like star sectors
I'm the cost of the demons inside
I'm the boss that's eager to die
even if I'm number 2, I am prime inside
so why does that even matter if I wanna go and ride or die
My rhyme is high
strong enough to make aphrodite's hymen dry
rip your face; eye to eye
inside your lies,
rip apart your brain's linings wide
and kill you with your own eyes of god
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Requiem » Jan 18th, '10, 01:23

holy shit ur dope as hell... the flow the rhymestyle. jesus dude u belong here. DROP MORE. it's good to see fresh talent around here :smoking:
R.I.P. Proof.
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Tash8 » Jan 18th, '10, 01:24

this is dope...but i would feed other people before posting next time, especially since you are NEW here...
Last edited by Tash8 on Jan 18th, '10, 01:26, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 01:25

Tash8 wrote:this is dope...but i would feed other people before posting next time, especially since you are NEW here...

Glad you enjoyed it.

You too, Requiem.

:flower:
Last edited by Magnificent on Jan 18th, '10, 01:27, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Jan 18th, '10, 01:26

dope, you do audio ?
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby DƎRDYPK » Jan 18th, '10, 01:27

nice piece :y:
welcome to the forums :flower:
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 01:34

DerdyPK wrote:nice piece :y:
welcome to the forums :flower:

Thank you :b:
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby J Roc » Jan 18th, '10, 01:38

Nice piece ... you been doing for awhile haven't you
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Spyder » Jan 18th, '10, 01:39

pretty dope shit :y:
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 01:44

Spyder wrote:pretty dope shit :y:

iight (y)
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Solace » Jan 18th, '10, 01:57

wack :coffee:
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 01:59

Solace wrote:wack :coffee:

:( I guess my name doesn't appeal to everyone :(
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby 2sDay » Jan 18th, '10, 02:00

Magnificent wrote:Critique? :sweating:

I send in vile acoclytes,
attack it right, then sacrifice
I pack it right, attack
till the back is sliced, a packaged knife
is latched to my back of ice
the maggots diced, when I clack it right
do you even understand, *****, gun triggas,
will split ya, with bar liquor,
flows vary like star sectors
I'm the cost of the demons inside
I'm the boss that's eager to die
even if I'm number 2, I am prime inside
so why does that even matter if I wanna go and ride or die
My rhyme is high
strong enough to make aphrodite's hymen dry
rip your face; eye to eye
inside your lies,
rip apart your brain's linings wide
and kill you with your own eyes of god

everything was ok except the flow.....
The 2sDay Massacre
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Props to Solace and dR.dR3

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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Magnificent » Jan 18th, '10, 02:01

2sDay wrote:
Magnificent wrote:Critique? :sweating:

I send in vile acoclytes,
attack it right, then sacrifice
I pack it right, attack
till the back is sliced, a packaged knife
is latched to my back of ice
the maggots diced, when I clack it right
do you even understand, *****, gun triggas,
will split ya, with bar liquor,
flows vary like star sectors
I'm the cost of the demons inside
I'm the boss that's eager to die
even if I'm number 2, I am prime inside
so why does that even matter if I wanna go and ride or die
My rhyme is high
strong enough to make aphrodite's hymen dry
rip your face; eye to eye
inside your lies,
rip apart your brain's linings wide
and kill you with your own eyes of god

everything was ok except the flow.....

iight (y)
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Re: First CW Drop

Postby Spyder » Jan 18th, '10, 02:03

what with the... (y) :confusion:
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