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Death In The Afterlife

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Death In The Afterlife

Postby JoshButler » Jan 31st, '10, 23:28

this traited subliminal hater/ fouls himself in being a fated criminal instiagtor/
who wants to be slammed in jail/now gets raped rammed and nailed/
with a hammer and chisel/that brings the drama of a fuckin missle/
thats aimed for his biting ass/i suggest you start finding you task/
to stop wrtin whack as fuck rhymes/ i smack ya facked lines/
to make em at least half fresh/ this is the beast that narks flesh/
off your maggot riddled corpse/ with no grave for a driven warped/
beings/ seeing is beliving/ when ya grieving/ the leaving is singing/
the wrong song/ at your beautiful funeral/ to shadow the crude and deciful/
apspects of your life/ your chest accpeted the knife/ respect this trife/
when everything is turned important/ and shows the morners this tyront/
of how much evil was commited/ the coward was devils submitted
deciple/ brought here to brun the bible/ thats liable to fight/ a bygone
but why hes been gone? /just like gods son/ whos the sum/ of all fears
which never pittys your tears/ so witty now hears/ the ears clears
from the growling depths of hell/ the monsters fouling breath shall/
never be elevtated back to earth/ get hyperventalted den death at birth/
cause your not one of the spartans/ stop the blood flow to hearts with ends
of ambliocol cords/ calpol wont cure the metaphors/ of the crawl creppin weak
adalesant are thrown in the great pit/ to feed the pennants cyclone of hades skit/
Last edited by JoshButler on Jan 31st, '10, 23:52, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Death In The Afterlife

Postby Fa-Q » Jan 31st, '10, 23:35

Fuck multis are great...it would be a lot easier to read if you had commas where pauses where...like the shit tho...everything but the first line...wasn't feeling that but good drop homie welcome to the forum
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Re: Death In The Afterlife

Postby JoshButler » Jan 31st, '10, 23:54

wow thanks for the feedback. as you can see i just updated the first line and put in commas. im also diggin your nightmares poem
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