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Hopefully I Am Posting This Right "Section?"

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Hopefully I Am Posting This Right "Section?"

Postby Da Shady Spot » Feb 2nd, '10, 22:43

I'll Come Knocking On Yo Door,
I Bring A Chainsaw But It's Out Of Gas,
So, I Take My Regular Saw,
I Ring The Door Bell Cause She Has It Locked,
So, She Peeks Through The Peep Hole, But, She Can't See Who It Is, Because I Got A Mask On, On Another Note, She Can't See My Saw,
Dam I Wish I Had My Chainsaw, It Would Be A Lot Better If I Did It Quick & Get It Over With, This Bitch Opens The Door, Thinking It Might Be Holloween Night, So, Without A Fight, I Slowly Bring Out My Saw & Try To Saw Her Head Off,
I Didn't Get To Her Quick Enough, So, She Is Screaming For Mercy As She Walks Down The Dark Hall, She Trips And Falls & Breaks Her Balls, I Didn't Know She Was A Trans' Good Thing I Didn't Pant's Her,
As I'm Slowly Walking Towards Her, I Hear The Voices "Help Me!!, Somebody!! Help !!", But No One Is Around The Moon Is Dark I Hear Dogs Bark, So To End The Miserable Ho Life That She Once Had, I Saw Her Head Off,
Now She Is Constantly Bleeding On The Floor, I'm Glad It Was Me Who Had Done It, I Would Have Probably Felt Guilty If Somebody Else Had Done It,
But It's All Over Now, Before I Leave This Whore's Body To Rot, I'll Leave A Name Tag, On The Body Just So People Know Who Did It, But They Aren't Gonna Find Out, Cause Once They Do, They Will Know It' Will Be On Between Me And You.



I Made This Up, So Don't Say What The Or Okay, Or This Doesn't Make Sense, It's My First Time Writing So I Figure I'll Put My Thoughts Into A Serial Killers Head And See What I Could Accomplish

Give Ranks .... Thanks
Da Shady Spot
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Re: Hopefully I Am Posting This Right "Section?"

Postby Edge » Feb 5th, '10, 01:08

Da Shady Spot wrote:I'll Come Knocking On Yo Door,
I Bring A Chainsaw But It's Out Of Gas,
So, I Take My Regular Saw,
I Ring The Door Bell Cause She Has It Locked,
So, She Peeks Through The Peep Hole, But, She Can't See Who It Is, Because I Got A Mask On, On Another Note, She Can't See My Saw,
Dam I Wish I Had My Chainsaw, It Would Be A Lot Better If I Did It Quick & Get It Over With, This Bitch Opens The Door, Thinking It Might Be Holloween Night, So, Without A Fight, I Slowly Bring Out My Saw & Try To Saw Her Head Off,
I Didn't Get To Her Quick Enough, So, She Is Screaming For Mercy As She Walks Down The Dark Hall, She Trips And Falls & Breaks Her Balls, I Didn't Know She Was A Trans' Good Thing I Didn't Pant's Her,
As I'm Slowly Walking Towards Her, I Hear The Voices "Help Me!!, Somebody!! Help !!", But No One Is Around The Moon Is Dark I Hear Dogs Bark, So To End The Miserable Ho Life That She Once Had, I Saw Her Head Off,
Now She Is Constantly Bleeding On The Floor, I'm Glad It Was Me Who Had Done It, I Would Have Probably Felt Guilty If Somebody Else Had Done It,
But It's All Over Now, Before I Leave This Whore's Body To Rot, I'll Leave A Name Tag, On The Body Just So People Know Who Did It, But They Aren't Gonna Find Out, Cause Once They Do, They Will Know It' Will Be On Between Me And You.



I Made This Up, So Don't Say What The Or Okay, Or This Doesn't Make Sense, It's My First Time Writing So I Figure I'll Put My Thoughts Into A Serial Killers Head And See What I Could Accomplish

Give Ranks .... Thanks


ur not going to get feed until you fix this up... i didnt even read it b/c the structuire is all over the place, ur lines r the length of 3 lines which kills flow... check out some other writers on here and see their structure... and another thing, from the 2-3 lines i read, sounds like ur biting eminems style a little... not tryin to sound mean but PM me if u want some help
be the best you can be, and if thats not good enough for people... than fuck em
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Re: Hopefully I Am Posting This Right "Section?"

Postby Spyder » Feb 5th, '10, 02:20

peoplez_champ :unsure:
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