thoughts [feed please]

[tjb]

so mr everything is back to take it back
break some backs, hustle some stacks, try to make it doing rap
sellin records on the corner, inside hides a dime bag
so for 20 fuckin dollars you get high to my tracks
an who wouldnt, im something special aint i?
ear food like puddin, pictures painted straight from ma eye
so when i tear my records, slide down my face,
an i fear that one day i wont have nothing to say
nothing to hide, no stuntin, no reason to ride
even tho i said, i was ride to die
like even when im dead, i said iwould still be fly
but ive said alot of things, an i hate the fact there not all true
but today spitting in this booth i wear this flack to spit truths
use music to be, everything i can be
an the beat goes on even when i be spitting teeth
onto to victory even when TJ's close to defeat
as long as you people can see what i have seen

[lilrossy]

i think u got potential man, jus gotta keep practicing. the flow was off at times and at one point made it difficult to read. try to use more vocab in your work dont keep it to simple, also start to include more multies.

pictures painted straight from ma eye

i liked that line. id save that for another verse. u culd do sumthing kewl wit dat.
anyway man, keep writing. it wasnt half bad. jus needs improvment.
hope that helps.

[tjb]

thanks bro