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So Close But So Far Away

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So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 17:00

opinions are valued and appreciated.

you miss someone the most when they're right next to you
but you can't have them .. it's like i'm so close
but at the same time, i'm so far away ..

you're on my mind, in my heart and my thoughts all combined
but you don't realise, that at night ... i sort of rewind
all my memories of you .. and play them all in my mind
i dream of a day where i can be calling you mine
i understand that you're popular, and i'm falling behind
in the pecking order, it's fine. 'cause i don't expect more
but i think you're beautiful, gorgeous, it's more than just sexual
your smile leaves me perplexed, all flustered and nervous
but to you i'm nothing, i'm not even touching the surface
i'm not rushing the service, i'm not trying to win you
but i promise if i had the chance i won't be the guy who will bin you
i wear my heart on my sleeve .. just so that you can see it (look)
i wish you could see it .. just so you could believe it (i love you)
i wish i had the courage to make a move .. not just leave it
i wish you could see that my heart is yours ... i don't need it

so close, but so far away
it's breaking up my heart today
i just don't know what to say
when you're so close but far away

christmas is approaching and we talk about the lights
all the decorations that make us smile, and all of it's bright
.. of course i sit tight, and wait for you to realise
that when i look into your eyes i see the beauty in them eyes
i can't hold your hand because that would give it all away
but together we sit outside dreaming up winter holidays
i'm so close to you, but at the same time i'm really far away (really far away)
and whenever i have to go i can't tell you that i really wanna stay ..
it's really hard for me to keep up with this charade
i'm acting like your friend ... but inside of my brain
i can only think about how i wanna kiss the side of your face (i must resist)
and whisper to you softly as we sit outside in the rain ..
but the silence remains, you don't know how i truly feel
i go over in my head about how i can soon reveal
the emotions in my heart, but you've got another man
i'm not a home wrecker, i love you .. i just don't understand ..

so close, but so far away
it's breaking up my heart today
i just don't know what to say
when you're so close but far away
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby classthe_king » Feb 20th, '10, 17:28

This is pretty good. You have good story telling abilities. Flow and all that is good, could be better but its not bad. Now try working on some multis
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 17:32

classthe_king wrote:This is pretty good. You have good story telling abilities. Flow and all that is good, could be better but its not bad. Now try working on some multis

i appreciate the feed but ...

you're on my mind, in my heart and my thoughts all combined
but you don't realise, that at night ... i sort of rewind
all my memories of you .. and play them all in my mind
i dream of a day where i can be calling you mine
i understand that you're popular, and i'm falling behind
in the pecking order, it's fine. 'cause i don't expect more
but i think you're beautiful, gorgeous, it's more than just sexual
your smile leaves me perplexed, all flustered and nervous
but to you i'm nothing, i'm not even touching the surface
i'm not rushing the service, i'm not trying to win you
but i promise if i had the chance i won't be the guy who will bin you


i swear those are multies ....
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby classthe_king » Feb 20th, '10, 17:36

Medicine Ball wrote:
classthe_king wrote:This is pretty good. You have good story telling abilities. Flow and all that is good, could be better but its not bad. Now try working on some multis

i appreciate the feed but ...

you're on my mind, in my heart and my thoughts all combined
but you don't realise, that at night ... i sort of rewind
all my memories of you .. and play them all in my mind
i dream of a day where i can be calling you mine
i understand that you're popular, and i'm falling behind
in the pecking order, it's fine. 'cause i don't expect more
but i think you're beautiful, gorgeous, it's more than just sexual
your smile leaves me perplexed, all flustered and nervous
but to you i'm nothing, i'm not even touching the surface
i'm not rushing the service, i'm not trying to win you
but i promise if i had the chance i won't be the guy who will bin you


The touching the surface and rushing the service are really the only ones that rhyme. Maybe the calling you mine and falling behind. I don't know what kind of accent you have but but for me you're on my mind, thoughts all combined and sort of rewind does not rhyme at all.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 17:37

they're slanted rhymes. i swear eminem does it all the time, along with other great rappers.
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby classthe_king » Feb 20th, '10, 17:39

Yeah, people always say there slant rhymes, i don't really like them but its everyones opinion.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 17:40

classthe_king wrote:Yeah, people always say there slant rhymes, i don't really like them but its everyones opinion.


the second verse of stay wide awake has so many slanted rhymes, do you not like it? i think it sounds amazing and is one of his best verses in terms of multies.
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby classthe_king » Feb 20th, '10, 17:42

Medicine Ball wrote:
classthe_king wrote:Yeah, people always say there slant rhymes, i don't really like them but its everyones opinion.


the second verse of stay wide awake has so many slanted rhymes, do you not like it? i think it sounds amazing and is one of his best verses in terms of multies.


I think the second verse of stay wide awake is overrated.
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 17:43

fair enough.
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby mbmfan » Feb 20th, '10, 19:41

Medicine Ball wrote:opinions are valued and appreciated.


Belongs in a Pink forum
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 19:43

mbmfan wrote:
Medicine Ball wrote:opinions are valued and appreciated.


Belongs in a Pink forum

what .. ?
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby mbmfan » Feb 20th, '10, 19:47

Medicine Ball wrote:opinions are valued and appreciated.
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Solace » Feb 20th, '10, 19:47

...Scott?
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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby Medicine Ball » Feb 20th, '10, 19:49

Solace wrote:...Scott?

no
.

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Re: So Close But So Far Away

Postby mbmfan » Feb 20th, '10, 19:50

Solace wrote:...Scott?


Naw, it's llockhart86.
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