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Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

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Re: Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

Postby GoodGirlsGetGutted » Feb 22nd, '10, 06:11

This is pretty much immaculate except for the poison/crump part. That was weak compared to the rest of it.
Multis galore.
I can't believe you know what a coilgun is.
But that's key to being original. Obscure references, that is.
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

-Chaos zawladnal światem po raz kolejny-
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Re: Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

Postby Yah-hah » Feb 22nd, '10, 15:08

God's blueprint was a nuisance, a tattered design

Line is ill bro, yeah multies were dope, it flowed really good too. Sick man
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"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
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Re: Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

Postby mcZu » Feb 22nd, '10, 18:44

Enjoyed reading it, but for some reason I feel like you can do way better. Don't know why, it seems not as good as some of your older stuff. Dope nonetheless Cole.
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
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Re: Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

Postby Solace » Feb 23rd, '10, 03:58

You're writing a little too much dopeness for one to handle lmfao. Good thing you're writing fast now, it's always a good thing when someone is in the zone, know what I'm saying? Enjoyed the piece, hell a motherfucker making me have to google what a coil gun is lool. Keep at it dude.
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Re: Coleon - Lambs In A Pasture

Postby Ka0t1c » Feb 24th, '10, 15:43

well done, good writing... got me thinkin of dark stuff now...
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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