Helpless (poem)

[Just Silver]

Please check out my Raping the She-Devil throwdown


Senses seem senseless in eras of my ways
it been months plus days since ive even seen your face
you had the same and more fire with you
the life is empty endless it perfectly fits you

I feel childish when waiting for time
i dont make my own path i wait for the design
it unfolds slighty as if it were too stressed
but the feelings i have are too upset

when will it come to pass rain will fall
i stay poor you stay on the ball
government kills my only options
saying welfare is for the lazy offense

yet i die every day
i feel that death coming but im okay
im addicted to it i really need help
im addicted to helplessness i cant help my self

[GoodGirlsGetGutted]

I could tell you were going for an iambic rhythm, and for the most part, you succeeded.
Some of the stanzas were somewhat awkward.
Think of an emotion, not an idea or theme, and write based on that.
If your thoughts are angry, your writing will be angry. If your thoughts are ugly, your writing will be ugly (good thing). If they're beautiful, etc.
Enjoy your poetry, it's more therapeutic than almost anything.
Keep it up.

[Just Silver]

I could tell you were going for an iambic rhythm, and for the most part, you succeeded.
Some of the stanzas were somewhat awkward.
Think of an emotion, not an idea or theme, and write based on that.
If your thoughts are angry, your writing will be angry. If your thoughts are ugly, your writing will be ugly (good thing). If they're beautiful, etc.
Enjoy your poetry, it's more therapeutic than almost anything.
Keep it up.

Thanks people usually don't feed poetry when you said i succeeded in iambic rhythm i was very surprised for i didn't really plan out this piece

good advice for later